On a diet, but snacking is such an ingrained habit I had to make compromises. I now buy packets of twiglets and nuts, suck all the flavouring off, and spit the deflavoured snacks into the bin. I'm assuming this still counts as dieting but I don't want to check in case it isnt
=> More informations about this toot | View the thread
One of my mates, growing up, thought he would be funny and do a shite in a urinal at the cinema. I alerted a member of staff, who said they'd call the police unless he removed it. They didn't even give him gloves so he lifted with his bare hands. My prank was funnier than his
=> More informations about this toot | View the thread
Despite knowing the route like the back of my hand, whenever I drive to Waitrose I set a Google Map route so I get the 'You have arrived' message when I get there. Damn right I have, families like mine weren't meant to shop in Waitrose
=> More informations about this toot | View the thread
Shagged my wife on the night of my Grandad's funeral. Felt wrong, but she liked me in my suit and you have to take what you can get. Sorry Grandad.
=> More informations about this toot | View the thread
I'm at an age where guys send me dick pics on Grindr and I'm wondering if it's OK to ask them where they got their curtains from.
=> More informations about this toot | View the thread
When I was 9 years old I wanted to be a singer. My father told me that great singers like Freddie Mercury and Whitney Houston had more teeth in their mouths than the average person. So next time I went to the dentist, I asked if he could install extra teeth in my jaw.
=> More informations about this toot | View the thread
My barber (who is my son's age) always asks what I've been watching. I feel compelled to binge obscure series on various streaming channels between haircuts just to sound cool for 10 minutes.
=> More informations about this toot | View the thread
I'm retired. I got a phone call at home a few weeks ago from someone reimplementing code I wrote over 20 years ago. There was a comment "now for the tricky bit" followed by about 250 lines of confusing perl. No feature description. No reason. Just my name and a smiley at the end. Sorry.
=> More informations about this toot | View the thread
Have you confessed on Fesshole yet? Fess now using this form: https://bit.ly/addfess
=> More informations about this toot | View the thread
In the winter when water is colder coming out of the tap, I fill the kettle before I go to bed so that it warms up to room temperature over night and takes less time to boil in the morning.
=> More informations about this toot | View the thread
I've developed an addiction to Trebor Extra Strong mints. I bought a pack "for the car" a few months ago. It's now escalated to me crunching through whole packets in minutes several times a day whilst driving, gagging for the ecstasy of a mint induced sneeze.
=> More informations about this toot | View the thread
👖Fesshole sponsored by Hebtroco. Buy British-made jeans, shirts & hats http://hebtro.co 👖
=> More informations about this toot | View the thread
Just ate a whole cold jacket potato straight out the fridge. Holding it and taking bites like an apple. 100% will do again.
=> More informations about this toot | View the thread
I'm still 'it' from the last ever game I played back in 1979. It's haunted me ever since and it's all because my mum called me in for tea before I could get rid it. Who needs a mother like that?
=> More informations about this toot | View the thread
My kids are aged 8 and 6 and have been toilet trained for quite some time. However, I still keep a potty in the boot for "emergencies". My kids have never used it but comes in useful for me on the side of motorways - much easier to use instead of squatting in a bush.
=> More informations about this toot | View the thread
My husband is an aspiring screenwriter. He wrote a modern remake of The Office, but most of the staff work from home. It's as horrific as it sounds. He wants my opinion but I don't know how to tell him he's a terrible writer.
=> More informations about this toot | View the thread
Not even had a hint of sex for five years. Ordered myself a sex doll off Aliexpress. Just arrived home to a soggy battered box with a doll's head sticking out on my doorstep, think I'm going to have to move.
=> More informations about this toot | View the thread
Once noticed an unusual squishiness underneath me after sex. Turned out the cat had left a decapitated mouse in the bed and we had been rolling around in it. Surprising amount of blood in them little critters.
=> More informations about this toot | View the thread
Whenever I sell anything on eBay I immediately look up the buyer's place on Street View and Zoopla, just so I know what I'm dealing with.
=> More informations about this toot | View the thread
Girlfriend and I once stayed at a place with a Swedish hot tub, the type with a real fire heating the water. It got so hot I think we started to cook. We ran naked in the cold air to stop the cooking process. Throw in some onions and celery and you would have had lesbian stew.
=> More informations about this toot | View the thread
=> This profile with reblog | Go to fesshole@mastodon.social account This content has been proxied by September (3851b).Proxy Information
text/gemini
