I'm retired. I got a phone call at home a few weeks ago from someone reimplementing code I wrote over 20 years ago. There was a comment "now for the tricky bit" followed by about 250 lines of confusing perl. No feature description. No reason. Just my name and a smiley at the end. Sorry.
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@fesshole
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For anyone wondering: Perl is a programming language that's infamous for making it easy to write code that works, but looks the same as if a cat walked over the keyboard. It's totally feasible to write nice Perl, but tricky Perl code can easily be incomprehensible to the original author in a matter of days.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perl#Syntax
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@nex Perl, aka write-only code
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@nex Yep, been there. I think my record is one day, but it was a long time ago.
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@fesshole
Fuck yeah
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@fesshole "Nuclear Plant Melts Down: IT Issue Blamed"
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@fesshole What I hear is that your #Perl kept working for TWENTY YEARS before they decided to replace it.
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@fesshole Congratulations to your new one-off highly paid consultancy gig!
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@fesshole what complete moron wrote this code
git blame
oh it was me
what secret genius inspired me to write such hidden majesty
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20 years? Not bad.
We have some Perl that has a similar age and when I was hired many years ago they were working on replacing it.
Still runs today. Every day.
@fesshole
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@futuresprog @fesshole I still get questions about a perl script I wrote in 2002. It's really well documented, it's got "use English" in the header, etc, but people still struggle.
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@fesshole
Perl is a bit like concrete: It’s not meant to be changed.
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@fesshole yeah, Perl is a write-only language
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@scottearle @fesshole I've not had real problems reading it since perltidy -pbp became available. Although there is some Moose stuff out there that turns Catalyst apps into Opus Dei levels of fuckery.
It also helps as job security for some of us without the hardcore BOFH disposition as we get longer in the (furry) tooth...
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@fesshole
Given that perl is ~35 years old, 20 years is not too bad...
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@fesshole Someone once tracked me down for my code with the comment # This can’t actually happen that emitted the error “Bummer, Dude” after finding lots of log entries with “Bummer, Dude” in them
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@fesshole job security code...
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@fesshole You just described my IT life.
I had a firm and early grasp of technology (in the late 70s), so I was the guy that got called.
I learned to write basic as a joke and the two asm programs I learned assembly for, while helpful to me on the 8088, were actually just jokes as well.
The rest IT has been reading other peoples code and trying to figure it out.
Finding comments like 'notlarry is gonna love this, hold my beer' has happened to me more than once.
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@fesshole
Join my mastodon Page
https://smrturl.co/a/s2406af388c/62?s1=
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@fesshole @Lazarou People used to complement my Perl code, saying it looked just like C.
But then I got better at using Perl, and that put an end to the complements.
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@fesshole the weirdest part about this is why it's a phone call and not an email 😅
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@fesshole I have nightmares like that. Like, I could have explained it to you at the time, but you didn't care then.
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@fesshole
Why are they trying to fix something that is not broken and has been working for decades?
(compare to current events)
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@fesshole yesterday it took me a good part of a day to implement unwinding/freeing memory of a data structure I implemented almost 30 years ago in C - I was asked to build a Python interface for the thing, that's why...
https://github.com/dimpase/hb/commit/80e4a14bfe3e81ced219e30663c1f5e333df0728
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@fesshole I wrote quite a bit of Perl myself 20 years ago. And I thank God every day that every single line has been lost
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@fesshole Is there such a thing as non-confusing perl? I don't think so. 🤔
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@fesshole sorry but I believe you forgot ;
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@fesshole perfect recipe how to never retire 😂
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