when I was young, adults with authority over me loved to tell me that I'd agree with them when I was older, but as I approach 40 they're still wrong and I wish I'd picked more fights with them
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@0xabad1dea Same!
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@0xabad1dea
not only do I not agree with them,
not only do I wish I had picked more fights with them,
but I am, myself, exactly what they warned me against,
and I am looking for ways to free other people from their bullshit.
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@0xabad1dea i feel like everyone here is the ones who know they should have picked those fights, and the people Over There are the ones who really did turn into their parents
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@0xabad1dea I did pick a lot of fights with them. The occasional actual argument – you know, where I could influence their thinking – unfortunately didn't make up for when I couldn't. As a result it just alienated me earlier from them. It was the hardest with my divorced parents, but the nurturing of my kids sealed the deal. YMMV
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@0xabad1dea - Yeah, they told me people respected intelligence, experience, and ability.
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@0xabad1dea when you were younger, because you're still young.
(づ> v <)づ♡
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@0xabad1dea
Both my parents pushed back constantly that I would wind up different and then I basically lived my entire life to spite them on that.
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@0xabad1dea I wish I had rebelled before the age of 40.
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@0xabad1dea it was probably healthier not to argue with these folks... similar age... I argued with everyone. I was just branded an asshole... when i got older i realized that yes i was being a bit of an ass, but i wasn't wrong most of the time... just shitty at delivering in a healthy way.
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@0xabad1dea never too late. even if they already dead write the correction on the fuckin gravestone.
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@falcennial @0xabad1dea I have a complicated relationship with my deceased mother. In some ways I now see her point of view, in others I see I am becoming her but in many other ways I am enraged that she’s dead because I still need to argue my point.
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@0xabad1dea I’m 56 and I agree with them even less than when I was young.
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@0xabad1dea I'm pretty sure that not picking fights with authority figures is something that's programmed into children.
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@gudenau @0xabad1dea If it wasn't, then when the kids grew up the authority figures wouldn't stand a chance.
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@0xabad1dea My parents tried to mold and shape me into their version of me. It didn't work.
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@0xabad1dea
My dad was the same, and he was right, though it took until I was 50.
I agreed with him when I finally talked him into voting Labour and supporting unions.
@lisamelton
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@0xabad1dea I have waited to find myself understanding 50 year old men who want teenage girls (I'm 48 and absolutely not). I have waited to find myself blaming people who never had a chance for their lot in life. I have WAITED to find out what twist of my brain would lead me to believe that people should exist for the profit of corporations, and still, no. the adults were just v fucked up.
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@0xabad1dea yeah no, I haven't agreed with them either, and never will. My values just aren't for sale. I don't do enough work as I think I should or need to, but my life, work, and livelihood is centered around figuring out what I can do to make the world a better place and developing the skills to do it.
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@0xabad1dea I wish you had felt like you could, too. I love hearing young people's takedowns of the ridiculous rhetoric of some of their elders, especially when they say that "Trust me, Bro" is not a source of evidence.
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@0xabad1dea don’t buy the bs kids.
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@0xabad1dea
Along the same lines, folks that used to start sentences with "when you have kids...." pissed me off and I corrected them in real time.
I would say, "you meant if I have kids."
I followed that with "I don't want to have kids."
I never did have kids and I don't regret it.
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@shansterable omfg this fucked me up so bad.
They kept saying that shit to me too, and I didn't for the longest time. Now, within the last 3 to 5 years I do.
But they still shouldn't have said it. That's a fucked-up thing to enforce on a gd child.
It also delayed me accepting that my body and mind want kids because I was angry that their assertions -- spouted in bad faith and not seeing me as a person who can or should be able to make choices -- were half-correct. So they may have made it harder for me to do something that they clearly wanted me to do / be forced to do! Bastards.
@0xabad1dea
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@0xabad1dea Adults would tell me to do things, and I'd ask "Why?"
They always thought I was defying them, and got angry. I really wanted to know the logic behind the decision so I'd know what to do next time.
I think they got angry because they did not know why they were doing things.
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@0xabad1dea but your feelings are simply representative of the degradation of the USA's moral fabric.**
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@0xabad1dea It's a funny thing how so many of us were told we get more conservative and right wing as we got older. In contrast I think most gen x and younger have gotten more left wing as we've aged. I'm a millennial who just turned 40 and I know I'm more left wing than I was in my 20s and teens.
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@TreeVor @0xabad1dea lately I’ve been thinking that whole “if you’re under 30 and aren’t a liberal then you don’t have a heart, but if you’re over 30 and aren’t a conservative you don’t have a brain” mostly reflects their goal that people with a heart not live past 30
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@TreeVor @0xabad1dea
Maybe younger, but Gen X just got a LOT more polarized: right-leaning leaned further right, left-leaning leaned further left, and those in the middle jumped one way or the other depending on $ISSUE/$BELIEF/$ETC.
Lotsa GenX right-leaners drank too much it-was-all-Jimmy-Carter's-fault kool-aid when they were in their formative years. Lotsa GenX left-leaners saw how badly AIDS was handled, and that the Cold War ending didn't make right-leaners just take the fucking win.
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@0xabad1dea anything concrete?
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@tikend I posted this after recalling that my high school theology teacher said that if a woman needs a medical abortion to survive, then she is morally obligated to die, if that's what you're asking
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@0xabad1dea wow, what a dick (just assuming it was a guy)
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@tikend oh yeah 100%. he was engaged at the time. wonder if she's left his !@# yet
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@0xabad1dea @tikend Yo wtf?!?
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@catsalad @tikend it doesn’t come up very often anymore because my public trauma processing arc was a decade ago but my religious upbringing was intensely not Good
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@0xabad1dea @tikend holy piss
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@0xabad1dea @tikend Most of them believe it but are too cowardly to say it. I'm honestly relieved when they're upfront about their femicidal beliefs, it's so much easier to scoot bystanders along from the desire to keep social peace that way.
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@0xabad1dea @tikend People who say shit like that have a moral obligation to die.
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@0xabad1dea not too late to go and slap them around a bit.
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@0xabad1dea I am 27 years old. I never liked kids but it wasn’t till I was in middle school when I realized I was NEVER going to have kids because I didn’t liked them. I told my parents and their friends that and they all laughed at me saying I will. I STILL do not like kids and do not want any. I low key don’t even wanna be an aunt because I don’t like kids. So I absolutely agree with this because I can relate too.
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@0xabad1dea The world we ended up living in turned out to be very different from the world they thought we were going to live in. Things changed dramatically from the 1980s to today. In fact, some even don’t understand why it’s so difficult for younger generations to get by, and attribute it to generational defects like “laziness” or “carelessness”. No, the world is shit. You had it easy. 😒
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@dmian @0xabad1dea when my grandparents were young, my grandfather could afford a house, kids, a SAHM wife, and night school tuition to better his career. Houses were cheap, tuition was cheap, night school certs were VALUED degrees. TV was prohibitively expensive. I tried explaining that poor people can't buy houses but it's got nothing to do with the TV and games consoles they have. Current reality is totally alien to his frame of reference.
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@0xabad1dea @catsalad My spouse has always replied to her dad, "If I ever start thinking xyz is okay, take me out back and shoot me because something is wrong with my brain."
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@0xabad1dea
When you are 60, you will know for certain that you were correct at 20.
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@0xabad1dea So many of the things I was told I would understand when I was older sound even more ridiculous to me now than they did at the time
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@0xabad1dea@infosec.exchange Same, and I did pick fights with them. They still told me I was wrong, and too young and I'd understand when I was older. Hated that so much.
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@0xabad1dea a lot of people who were adults when I was a kid were hippies but only because of Vietnam, but then when that ended, they became greed is good capitalists.
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@0xabad1dea lol, that is some patronising adults!
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@0xabad1dea If I had to do it all over again, I would do everything in the exact same way; except I would rebel even harder and even earlier.
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@0xabad1dea
@eugeneparnell
You were thinking "I'm not going to grow up to be a bitter asshole like you"
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@0xabad1dea Could you cw this so we can boost it >w< ?
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@ity no. what could I possibly cw in that sentence? it’d either be a restatement of the post’s thesis, which defeats the point, or completely uselessly vague, which defeats the point
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@0xabad1dea Right?!
Every time I think about this, it makes me angry.
It was a bullshit attempt to stop a kid from making them address their shitty behavior, and it was an insult.
In effect they were saying "Yeah, I gave up on my ideals because I was tired, and you will too!"
But, I haven't and I won't.
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@0xabad1dea My dad was always like this.
It was never worth it to try to keep arguing with him.
Once he digs his heels in he double-triple downs and won't change his mind.
I don't call him anymore. The only times I hear from him are when he calls me.
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@0xabad1dea
My parents gave me a colonizing narrative. I knew I never would have kids and never did. I did not want to bring anyone into this world and have to deal with what I went through. If there is a hell, I grew up in it.
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@dianea (This is sadly one of many reasons I'm still wavering on kids myself. They're great and interesting, but idk if it's ethical to create life you know will suffer in ways you cannot protect them from, and other ways you could have but didn't.) @0xabad1dea
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@0xabad1dea
And still the same at 60.
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@0xabad1dea Yep. Still a bunch of arrogant, useless assholes that don't know shit but won't shut up about anything.
Saw through them when I was 5.
Even to the point of telling me that living under their thumbs and having zero autonomy would be my best memories. No, that would be my 20's and 30's assholes.
You ever had one go, "Bet you can understand me now, eh?" after some fucked up shit go down in your life?
No, fucker. I can't. I still can't.
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@0xabad1dea I'm old enough to retire (though I can't afford to), but to your point...
They can all go fuck themselves.
🙃
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@0xabad1dea "You'll understand it when you're older". No, I do not! :neocat_scream:
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@0xabad1dea So do I!
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@0xabad1dea @kimlockhartga 🔥🔥🔥
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