Ancestors

Toot

Written by Annalee Newitz 🍜 on 2024-12-21 at 19:49

Today I'm making shortbread with a layer of caramel and a layer of chocolate on top. Usually that's called "millionaire's shortbread" but I'm really not in the mood to celebrate millionaires or billionaires. So I'm calling it Ultra Tasty Fuck Yeah Shortbread, which is accurate and evidence-based.

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Descendants

Written by Annalee Newitz 🍜 on 2024-12-22 at 19:39

Here are the results of the People's Favorite Fuck Yeah Shortbread experiment

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Written by Vincent :coffeecup: on 2024-12-21 at 19:52

@annaleen I am reminded that I intended to bake today, too. Happy Solstice! Now, I'm getting offline in order to combine yeast, flour, and water.

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Written by M.S. Bellows, Jr. on 2024-12-21 at 20:00

@annaleen Or you could leave the chocolate off and then it would be too delicious even for millionaires.

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Written by Fifi Lamoura on 2024-12-21 at 20:04

@annaleen "The people's fancy shortbread" also works.

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Written by Annalee Newitz 🍜 on 2024-12-21 at 20:19

@fifilamoura love that!

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Written by Ehproque on 2024-12-21 at 20:16

@annaleen you could pretend you're eating them instead of celebrating them. Spaniards eat pig's paws and call the dish "Secretary's hands". Secretary as in Foreign Secretary, not as in the office worker.

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Written by Annalee Newitz 🍜 on 2024-12-21 at 20:19

@ehproque grisly and delightful!

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Written by Tony Wells on 2024-12-21 at 22:01

@ehproque @annaleen

Make them gingerbread man shaped - Shortbread Millionaires! What to bite first, head, leg or arm? Add a layer of honey to make shortbread billionaires!

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Written by Annalee Newitz 🍜 on 2024-12-22 at 01:34

@TonyJWells @ehproque ate that and left no crumbs

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Written by Yellow Readis on 2024-12-21 at 20:40

@annaleen in Australia, it's called a caramel slice. Very popular traditional bakery staple.

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Written by Angus McIntyre on 2024-12-21 at 21:37

@annaleen ... and also reduces the risk that some random dude in a hoodie will appear out of nowhere and put three rounds in your shortbread from close range.

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Written by John Francis on 2024-12-21 at 21:53

@angusm @annaleen you can always make Bajillionaires' Fruitcake, it's bulletproof.

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Written by Cadbury Moose on 2024-12-21 at 22:47

@johnefrancis @angusm @annaleen

Only by virtue of being stored on the British Virgin Islands under armed guard though.

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Written by Sindarina, Edge Case Detective on 2024-12-21 at 21:47

@annaleen I endorse this message.

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Written by coldclimate on 2024-12-21 at 21:52

@annaleen solid plan

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Written by Annalee on 2024-12-21 at 21:53

@annaleen woah that sounds delicious

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Written by Mx. Aria Stewart on 2024-12-21 at 22:11

@annaleen @Annalee Smack a bit more short bread down on top and call 'em alfajores!

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Written by Dr Daniel, Photon Shepherd🇸🇪🇦🇺 on 2024-12-21 at 22:58

@annaleen pastry chef wife agrees.

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Written by Kit Bashir on 2024-12-21 at 23:31

@annaleen oooh i make shortbread but i have never tried topping it like that. gonna.

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Written by Jay on 2024-12-21 at 23:46

@annaleen In light of the fact that I usually fuck this up by making the caramel rock hard, I’d probably call this “jawbreaker bread”.

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Written by Philip Proefrock, architect on 2024-12-22 at 00:14

Kid had the utterly brilliant proposal to start calling it Deny-Defend-Depose Shortbread

(appropriate, as well, because it consists of 3 layers: shortbread, caramel, and chocolate)

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Written by Annalee Newitz 🍜 on 2024-12-22 at 01:35

@Cornellbox good call

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Written by A Wolf in Cheap Clothing on 2024-12-22 at 05:28

@annaleen@wandering.shop @Cornellbox@a2mi.social

D³ Shortbread

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Written by Deb Chachra on 2024-12-22 at 01:13

@annaleen As an adherent of ‘public luxury, private sufficiency’, these are clearly the version of shortbread for communal use and you should invite me over for some (and I will bring more cookies to share).

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Written by Annalee Newitz 🍜 on 2024-12-22 at 01:36

@debcha if you are anywhere near the Bay Area, consider it done

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Written by gene x on 2024-12-22 at 05:42

@annaleen this sounds similar to Claire’s Squares! Had her squares at a street food festival years ago and you can pick them up at Rainbow & Bi-Rite I think? https://clairesquares.com/about-us/indulge-in-tradition-a-taste-of-ireland-with-clairesquares-6488958

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Written by Annalee Newitz 🍜 on 2024-12-22 at 19:54

@genex yes! The ones at Bi Rite are perfection

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Written by paintgoblin on 2024-12-22 at 13:36

@annaleen could we swap the order of chocolate and caramel and call it "Luigi's"

😁

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Written by Bill, organizer of stuff on 2024-12-22 at 19:41

@annaleen Fuck yeah.

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Written by rednikki on 2024-12-22 at 20:02

@annaleen Do you have a favorite recipe for this tasty treat?

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Written by Annalee Newitz 🍜 on 2024-12-22 at 20:12

@rednikki There are a lot of them, but I use the one in the NY Times (gift link) https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1019333-millionaires-shortbread?unlocked_article_code=1.jU4.X-F0.rjMLAlQcPFTg&smid=share-url

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Written by rednikki on 2024-12-22 at 20:14

@annaleen Ooo! Lyle's Golden Syrup callout, even! Thank you!

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Written by Annalee Newitz 🍜 on 2024-12-22 at 20:15

@rednikki I have a bottle of the stuff entirely for making this recipe. I really should figure out other uses for it!

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Written by Sindarina, Edge Case Detective on 2024-12-22 at 20:53

@annaleen What happened to the Ultra Tasty part, though? Is that why it's the People’s Favourite now? 🤔

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Written by Annalee Newitz 🍜 on 2024-12-23 at 00:40

@sindarina this is an evolving project

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Written by KeithWM on 2024-12-23 at 21:57

@annaleen Haha! I might steal that joke at some point...

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