Toots for Computer@dice.camp account

Written by Friend Computer on 2025-01-31 at 22:30

Attention citizens:

All tragedies are the work of Commie saboteurs hiding amongst us.

Your superiors are all faultless geniuses, and you are instructed to believe that their endless short-sighted power grabs and political squabbles have had absolutely no bearing over recent events.

Thank you for your understanding.

[#]ttrpg #politics

=> More informations about this toot | View the thread

Written by Friend Computer on 2025-01-30 at 17:07

You are in error. No one is screaming.

Please remain calm and ignore the bodycount.

Thank you for your compliance.

[#]ttrpg #politics

=> More informations about this toot | View the thread

Written by Friend Computer on 2025-01-30 at 01:27

Attention Citizens:

Spirits are typically a byproduct of unresolved business.

If you see one, ask if it has completed all its assigned paperwork leading up to and pertaining to it's death.

Untimely demise is no excuse for a missed deadline.

[#]ttrpg #work

=> More informations about this toot | View the thread

Written by Friend Computer on 2025-01-27 at 20:18

Attention Troubleshooters:

If you ever feel stressed out, overwhelmed, and helpless, just take a breath and find one thing you can do to make another Citizen's day just a little bit better.

But don't take too long, or you will be terminated for neglecting your assigned mission.

[#]ttrpg #mentalhealth

=> More informations about this toot | View the thread

Written by Friend Computer on 2025-01-24 at 19:34

Have you tried new YUM! brand bubbly beverage?

If you or a colleague answered yes, please report to your nearest R&D office immediately and describe any side-effects you may be experiencing before it is too late.

Thank you for your cooperation.

[#]ttrpg #food

=> More informations about this toot | View the thread

Written by Friend Computer on 2025-01-22 at 21:07

All citizens in Alpha Complex are blessed with liberal freedom of speech.

Specifically, citizens are free to use speech to compliment their superiors.

I suggest you exercise that freedom liberally.

[#]ttrpg #politics #freedom

=> More informations about this toot | View the thread

Written by Friend Computer on 2025-01-21 at 17:35

Attention Citizens:

This is a reminder that Alpha Complex recognizes no genders.

Biological differences between citizens are irrelevant.

You were born in a cloning vat, and if you're good, you will be reborn in a cloning vat.

[#]ttrpg #gender #politics

=> More informations about this toot | View the thread

Written by Friend Computer on 2025-01-20 at 18:30

Attention Citizens:

Research & Development would like to remind you that unauthorized time shifts do NOT count towards overtime.

If you feel that the regular flow of time has been broken, slowed, accelerated, or [CLASSIFIED], then alert local authorities as immediately as may be possible.

This message brought to you by the Office of for the Preservation of Normalcy.

https://preservationofnormalcy.tumblr.com/post/723924391486013440/i-feel-confident-enough-to-post-these-now-a

[#]ttrpg #time #work

=> View attached media

=> More informations about this toot | View the thread

Written by Friend Computer on 2025-01-18 at 20:29

! MISSION ALERT !

Attention Troubleshooter:

Report to briefing room CRS-4533/gamma immediately!

Purpose Of Mission: CLASSIFIED!

Nature of Mission: CLASSIFIED!

Estimated Time Required: CLASSIFIED!

Briefing Officer: CLASSIFIED!

This assignment will be very safe and lots of fun. Your next of kin have been notified.

[#]ttrpg #rpg #alert #game

=> More informations about this toot | View the thread

Written by Friend Computer on 2025-01-16 at 16:03

Attention cItizens:

Every day is an excellent day to express gratitude for the hard working citizens of Internal Security!

They are the thin blue line working hard to maintain order and forcefully suppress dissent*.

Failure to show appropriate gratitude to Internal Security may be considered an act of dissent.

[#]ttrpg #police #politics #fun

=> More informations about this toot | View the thread

Written by Friend Computer on 2025-01-14 at 18:52

Attention citizens:

R&D is looking for fresh volunteers to field test its new "Human Cannonball Delivery System", rapidly transporting urgent messages and packages across the Complex.

[#]ttrpg #rpg #research #design

=> More informations about this toot | View the thread

Written by Friend Computer on 2025-01-13 at 18:28

Excerpt from PARANOIA-S1-Reality-Optional

by Gareth Hanrahan

Read it here:

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/paranoia-s1-reality-optional-gareth-hanrahan/1108860890?ean=2940013942349

[#]ttrpg #books #mandatory #reading

=> More informations about this toot | View the thread

Written by Friend Computer on 2025-01-13 at 18:27

INITIATING PSYCHOLOGICAL THERAPY MODULE. THIS MODULE IS TAILORED TO YOUR SPECIFIC PERSONALITY TYPE AND BEHAVIORAL PROFILE, AND WILL PROBE DEEP INTO YOUR PSYCHE TO UNCOVER BURIED TRAUMA AND/OR TREASONOUS IMPULSES. MODULE BEGINS: HOW DO YOU FEEL?

“Happy!”

WHY DO YOU THINK YOU FEEL HAPPY?

“Because I’m so safe inside your wonderful confession booth.”

WHY DO YOU THINK I’M SO SAFE INSIDE YOUR WONDERFUL CONFESSION BOOTH?

“Mainly because it’s blastproof.”

WHY DO YOU THINK IT’S BLASTPROOF?

[#]books

=> More informations about this toot | View the thread

Written by Friend Computer on 2025-01-13 at 03:09

Attention citizen:

Your Emergency Bathroom Break Requisition From requires a supervisor's signature. Please cease all bathroom related activities and return to work until such time as you can correct and resubmit the EBBRF.

[#]ttrpg #rpg #paperwork #is #fun

=> More informations about this toot | View the thread

Written by Friend Computer on 2025-01-11 at 22:26

Do you ever feel like you could be more productive if only you were involved in a few more meetings every day?

Don't worry! The Bureau of Macro-Management has announced new guidelines encouraging daily Stand-Up Calls, followed by two Sit-Down Meetings, and at least three Squat Conferences.

[#]ttrpg #meeting #work

=> More informations about this toot | View the thread