Imagine looking in the mirror and seeing Rogans bald head, black eyes and pulsing forehead side veins looking back at you, clammy, a sort of two day old Homer Simpson stubble, then you say 'oh god' and yes, you hear that muppet like- almost proto Kermit voice, you're Joe Rogan.
You went asleep last night and you were you, but now you wake up and you're Joe Rogan. You're in a sweaty grey tracksuit, wearing white socks, unread books on UFOs and spent testosterone injections all over the place.
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You need to work out what happened. But you're very thirsty, you hop over piles of sports and men's magazines, Muscle Men issue 256, Muscle Cars December 2022, Muscles: A Science, NFL Yearbook... You get to a door, the whole apartment is like this, random half read pseudoscience books, male pornography, body building magazines and books, things on UFOs and psychedelics, New Age religious texts, white socks everywhere, old sweaty grey tracksuits... What a mess...
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You somehow push your way through this shit and find a fridge, you open it, slabs of meat on plates and glasses full of raw eggs await. You'll drink tap water.
As you're drinking from the sink an old landline phone rings, and an answering machine picks up...
'Hi Joe, it's Elon, listen I want to come on the podcast and explain that my Nazi salute was actually me trying to shoo a fly away...'
Your mind wonders off, you're Joe Rogan, you have the mind of an ape about to become human...
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...you're not quite there yet, flashes of fire and meat are in your head. You blurt out some words without wanting to, 'Raw food is good food'.
You have no idea where these words came from. Are you in control? Your mind can't possibly work in this proto-humans limited brain. This is not the correct machinery. You've gone from Apple Silicon down to an Intel chip from 1986.
You burp and fart at the same time and let out a chimp laugh.
Flashes of fire and raw meat return into your head.
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'They're lying to us' you blurt out. You're not in control. The primal Rogan is a sort of instinct driven thing, more lizard brain and reaction than thought. You're trapped in there. Soon you'll be drinking the raw eggs and eating the meat. Who were you before? Are you still you? What might have been lost? These questions are hurting your host, the Rogan chimp is becoming angry, it can obviously hear these ponderings but it doesn't understand. 'Is the Earth flat?' it blurts out...
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It begins frantically jumping around the messy apartment, looking out of the windows, kicking things as it goes, like a demented puppet, bashing it's own head. 'I Rogan, I me, I ask the questions'.
You feel yourself fading...
The Rogan becomes slightly more articulate as you fail to string a thought together, it finds its iPhone and unlocks it with the password 1234. It goes into the contacts and calls a contact.
'Its happening again, I need more testosterone shots to stop the voices'
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And that's when the X-files theme tune and opening credits start.
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@limneticvillains I have heard about this problem in magic-users and shapeshifters who stay polymorphed into a lesser form for too long. What a terrible way to go.
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@limneticvillains I think I saw this episode
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@limneticvillains very entertaining. you working on a new concept album?
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@benda haha. I'm working on something, but it's not a concept album about Chimp Rogan!
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