There’s been a lot of talk about “Wokeness” lately & it’s given me some feelings.
Will people who used to support or tolerate me turn against me, out of a desire to conform or show obeisance to the prevailing winds?
I Met Paul Graham Once: http://okayfail.com/2025/i-met-pg-once.html
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I’ve been having a really rough 2025 and this essay is my best attempt so far at explaining why I’ve been so miserable.
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i’ve received a lot of positive feedback from this blog post but
it’s bit worrisome just how many people have said that i’m “brave” for writing it 🥲
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i’ve been watching the HN thread (400+ comments 🫠) all day and i’m fascinated with the FARTs who keep posting.
they come off as so creepy and unhinged!!
i’m like, honey, are you OK? sounds like you’re uh maybe going through a lot right now eh
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@phillmv Beautiful essay.
I used to read pg's articles and I found them very interesting when he limited himself to tech things. Everything he writes about society is so removed from reality that I can’t read him anymore.
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@phillmv
this is beautiful work, thank you for sharing.
I wish I had something magical to say that would make you feel better, but the only thing I have unfortunately is to tell you that you're not alone.
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@phillmv I think there is a particular class of people that can opt "not to be brave". There is no point hiding how you feel—or who you are—it will come to a head at some point. I had coworkers that would be mention in passing they were gay during interviews, because they didn't want to accidentally end up somewhere that is a problem. (I'm brown so there is no hiding that from people who care about that.) I try and be authentic about all the things I care about, because I don't want a job badly enough where I need to tolerate intolerant people.
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@phillmv Certain terms are normally used in the pejorative sense. People normally say "right winger" or "social justice warrior" when describing someone they disagree with, not when they describe themselves.
The way i see it, there is a long tradition of owning pejoratives and redefining them. The terms black, queer, yankee, etc. were once insults, then redeemed as something to be proud of.
Once i saw a meme that touched my heart and it said "cringe culture is dead, we killed it." In other words, you are allowed to like what you like and it needs no defense. That's the essence of freedom, no?
What needs defense is argumentum ad hominem.
Regarding gender neutral bathrooms, i view opposition to them as a tempest in a teapot. Gender neutral bathrooms have traditionally existed in most homes. They predate indoor plumbing (the outhouse). In bootcamp the military has coed showers and recruits are expected to be solution oriented and not problem oriented, or in other words, get over it. That's just my take.
Out of my value for freedom, i favor "you do you." Why would anyone want to work in an oppressive workplace?
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@BenCollver i feel like a lot of people right now are yearning to dominate, to have someone to dominate, and they don’t tend to think about who will dominate them in return
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@phillmv That was very thoughtful. Thanks for writing it.
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@phillmv thanks for writing that, as someone else pg once believed in and who is disappointed at how he chooses to use his platform these days.
I nearly talked myself out of reading that essay at all, knowing it was just going to upset me, but took the bait anyway. The casual intellectual laziness that he dresses up in intellectual language - "people ask me to define this thing I don't like, so I'm going to define it as specifically the parts of it I don't like, and therefore anyone supporting it is either fake or evil".
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@phillmv I haven't read his "Wokeness" essay but I am surprised that he doesn't define what he means by "woke" in it. This is what he has to say about it on Twitter/X. I don't know if this will help you, but I thought I should share it in case it does.
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@nirbheek I address that in a footnote :)
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@phillmv Thanks for putting yourself out there by writing this. I’m def one of those lefties that pg and his ilk are so wound up by, but it still just boggles me that “just let people be” is such a big ask for his bunch.
I don’t pretend I have much understanding of why someone wants to present as a gender other than what we associate with their set of genitals. I just also don’t see what difference it makes to me either way. Getting irked by it seems like way more work. So count on my support.
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@phillmv Thank you so much for sharing this - just a quick note from a random Internet person to let you know that it is appreciated :heart_trans:
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@phillmv jsut found that on the orange website. much <3 to you and yours
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@phillmv thanks for writing this. the contrast between feeling good about yourself as a trans person, and feeling bad because so many other people have been convinced to lose their minds over us, is a permanent roaring shadow over everything.
it’s baffling how many people have decided that even trying to be kind and compassionate is… somehow pathetic? what a weird, sad position!!!
to be accused of “performative” social justice for existing, when they scream their social injustice constantly?
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@phillmv ❤
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@phillmv Just wanted to say thanks for writing this as a fellow non-binary person in the field (yeah, my profile pic needs updating).
I just want to be able to exist and (hopefully) make a contribution to the field. Is that really so much to ask? My experiences so far have been pretty good since coming out a few years ago: I hope that will continue, but recent events have made me worry.
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@phillmv What a well written piece!
Of many things, this opening question about conformity resonates with me. I find the false dichotomy of politics to be rather cruel to anyone who dares step outside the norm. It's self-reinforcing
My take is that society is obsessed in labeling others (applying a heuristic) rather than helping each other understand our perspectives...
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@phillmv do you have a link to that toot you mention/quote?
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