Ancestors

Toot

Written by Sophie 🎲🧩🏳️‍⚧️ on 2025-01-17 at 15:49

Omfg I just realised something amazing and I genuinely think it can change the world for the better:

Chuck Norris facts can be told as Keanu Reeves facts.

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Descendants

Written by Sophie 🎲🧩🏳️‍⚧️ on 2025-01-17 at 15:51

(I’m pretty sure the only reason we quit telling those facts was because they were overshadowed by the real fact that the guy was a humongous asshole. AFAIK not even close to a problem with Neo. LFG!)

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Written by Advanced Persistent Teapot on 2025-01-17 at 16:03

@Sophie on a bit of a tangent, I saw him at ComicCon about 18 months ago, at a signing table as I waited with a friend for someone else (Amanda Tapping, who was thoroughly lovely); there was nobody queuing up for him and while I watched his staff got him up to leave, and he just looked like a sad, lonely, elderly man. Not that I had any sympathy, it was just an interesting contrast to the queue for Ms Tapping.

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Written by Mike McCaffrey on 2025-01-17 at 17:33

@http_error_418 @Sophie Fun fact, Keanu Reeves is so fast at signing autographs it is simply impossible for a line to form.

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Written by Haelwenn /элвэн/ :triskell: on 2025-01-17 at 17:38

@Sophie Neo maybe Keanu Reeves… I feel like every actor at this point is suspicious.

Would rather say like, Popeyes or Mary Poppins facts.

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Written by masukomi on 2025-01-17 at 20:57

@Sophie I dunno. So much of Chuck Norris facts were about being uber manly, but all the cool Keanu Reeves facts are about being a kind and decent human being.

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Written by Rob Vincent 🎙️ on 2025-01-17 at 15:53

@Sophie :flan_awe: Excellent!

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Written by Log 🪵 on 2025-01-17 at 16:01

@Sophie I once met an old roundhouse kick that told me the same story several times in a row about riding Keanu's foot with three other roundhouse kicks at the same time. Highlight of its career.

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Written by Log 🪵 on 2025-01-17 at 16:05

@Sophie Keanu's one inch punch is so powerful that its metric conversion can also break boards.

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Written by Log 🪵 on 2025-01-17 at 16:10

@Sophie Whenever Keanu does have a beard, there is still a chin there and not additional fists. But his chin does hide a garrote, three throwing knives, and a meteor hammer in there.

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Written by Log 🪵 on 2025-01-17 at 16:21

@Sophie Keanu does not kick ungodly amounts of ass. Keanu kicks gluteals, because he is so respectful of the animal rights of donkeys.

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Written by Nikkileah on 2025-01-17 at 16:05

@Sophie Keanu Reeves actually is breathtaking. But according to him, so are you #KeanuReevesFacts

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Written by Local on 2025-01-17 at 22:43

@Nikkileah @Sophie 🫶🏼

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Written by jonathankoren™ on 2025-01-17 at 16:21

@Sophie now that Keanu has a beard… 🤔

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Written by Deborah Hartmann Preuss, pcc on 2025-01-17 at 17:02

@Sophie @estherschindler I like it! 🇨🇦

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Written by Stinkie McPhee on 2025-01-17 at 17:38

@Sophie I once heard someone at a bar try doing this with The Rock. I was a few drinks down, and I found it annoying, as did the bartender. After 20 minutes or so, I got so loud and upset that the bartender threw the person out.

The Rock isn't worthy.

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Written by Rob Vincent 🎙️ on 2025-01-17 at 20:34

@Sophie When your "Cyberpunk 2077" game generates a digital Keanu, it actually makes your graphics card cooler.

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Written by bob.php :veritrek_gold: on 2025-01-17 at 20:42

@Sophie after what chuck norris did in politics i think keanu should get his own fresh facts instead.

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Written by thekraken8him on 2025-01-17 at 21:49

@Sophie whoah

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