It's always a weird moment when I generally forget I have difficulties with things and then I suddenly end up in a lunch room with other people (doesn't happen often, I work on an unpopulated floor in my office) and I just lose my ability to think. Instant loss of being able to concentrate on anything other than basic response to the other person's questions and whatever I was there for. I can be nice, I can respond to their questions and I can do what I set out initially to do and that is all brain can do in that moment. I can't try to remember who they are. I can't take in context clues or try to converse with them. I can't get to know them. Answer the questions, and do what I needed, and leave.
I don't know what this is specifically. I'm assuming monotropism, limited ability to multitask. It's just odd and it's pretty disabling when it comes to forming connections with others.
I don't even know if I dislike it. I don't really know what to make of it. Body doing what it do I guess.
[#]ActuallyAutistic #SocialAnxiety #Monotropism
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When the RSD hits, and you're internalizing just what a terrible obnoxious and utterly disgusting person you are, wondering how much longer you have with a community that you're involved in before you've exhausted your social allowance and it's time for you to either disappear from the group, or get kicked out. And you feel like a fundamentally broken person because you cannot separate the difficulties of conversing with other people from who you are as a person. And you're wondering at what point should feeling bad not stray into self-deprecation because you should feel bad about the terrible things you've done, but at what point is that feeling bad turning into abuse against yourself? Because you don't have boundaries against who you are as a person
... And all the spiraling just because you accidentally interrupted a discord chat between two people that do not mind your presence.
[#]ActuallyAutistic #ActuallyADHD #RSD #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria
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The sensible folks here already know this but because he's Autistic it needs to be repeated because some folks with preconceived biases and/or ignorance would assume otherwise:
Autism does not make a person perform a Nazi salute.
Autism does not excuse someone using a Nazi salute.
Autism and Nazis are oil and water. Nazis killed us during WWII eugenics programs. Fascism as a whole always ends up with varying degrees of ableism and discrimination against neuro-minorities.
We do not advocate for Elon's behavior and do not approve of the symbolism he has used.
Elon Musk has, despite being Autistic himself, spouted plenty of ableist rhetoric throughout the years. He has caused great harm to our image and community both up to this incident and with it.
[#]Autism #ActuallyAutistic #ElonMusk #Nazi #Fascism
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Seeking tips from other ADHDers/AuDHDers:
Weird issue where if I commit myself to doing something, i.e. doing a specific task at a specific time of the day, even setting up alerts, blocking my calendar, etc., I will eventually (usually after a few days) ignore my own reminders and cannot stick with it and it becomes a habit to just ignore myself.
Backlogged work, alarms for going to work, tasks to stay on top of for home, exercising, etc. Actual genuinely important things but brain is just like "no this is not important, ignore it!" in the moment.
Is there anything that's worked for you to stick with things like this, outside of letting them get to a level of urgency/panic? I don't want to get to the point of stressing myself out in order to get basic requirements done.
[#]ActuallyAutistic #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAuDHD #AskingADHDers #AskingAutistics
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This is a blessed day, the ADHD is satisfied, the sensory impact is low, the work has been predictable, and I have been productive
(I realize I am jinxing it, but considering how many rainy days I deal with, I would like to be happy for the sun.)
[#]ActuallyAutistic #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAuDHD #Productivity
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FYI for anyone with the OEXP, Time Extension is reporting that it may be damaging some N64s: https://www.timeextension.com/news/2025/01/oops-this-open-source-n64-expansion-pak-is-frying-consoles
(Alt: Person holding a red expansion cartridge in front of a Nintendo 64 console.)
[#]retrogaming
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Oh wait, it's just a headache, thanks alexithymia
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Weird sensory moments: apparently I can hurt my own ears by talking loudly under currently unknown conditions. Just by talking loudly.
I'd like to file a bug report
[#]actuallyautistic
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I have again become aware that I am perpetually tense
I would love to not be perpetually tense
Now if I could remember to not be so tense all the time
...
Now if this world could stop giving me a million reasons to be tense all the time
[#]ActualyAutistic #Anxiety #Tension
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You know what I would love? A mood detector to alert me when I am mad so I know to back off on responses before I start a fight...
[#]ActuallyAutistic #Alexithymia
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PSA because of a separate thread I'm seeing:
Autistic people need context with unclear communication, because we don't rely on assumptions as much as non-Autistic people. Some of us can hazard guesses but would rather not. Some of us can't even hazard a guess.
!! This is not sealioning. This is disability. !!
Sealioning is a tactic by disingenuous people to frustrate and undermine a thought by engaging in unnecessary discourse to sow doubt in the thought and discredit the person by making the thought appear less-than-well-formed.
We don't give a shit about that, we just want clear communication, and if you're being unclear we're going to ask for clarification. If your opinion is full of shit, we're going to say so instead. Are we CAPABLE of sealioning? Some of us might but this is a rare circumstance and I don't believe this is going to be our default method of fighting opinions we don't like.
Before accusing an Autistic person of sealioning, please re-read your statement without thinking about the context behind it. Is it CRYSTAL, "EXPLAIN LIKE I'M FIVE" CLEAR? If not, they're probably not barking.
[#]ActuallyAutistic #Sealioning
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Got a weighted blanket as part of my Christmas gifts.
... :comfy_blob_cat: awwww yeahhhhhhh
[#]ActuallyAutistic #ActuallyADHD
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How many spoons were melted in the name of perfectionism throughout my life
Fuck that was stupid of me
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Proper language is like a second language to me, I don't think like that
It's not a problem until I'm low spoons
I wish I thought like I spoke
Wish I could just talk and speak my mind comfortably but "have to get the words right"
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Sometimes brain gets too caught up in perfectionism and I can't talk. Not mutism, just can't verbiage
I need to learn to talk anyways, maybe simple language
Half explained thought is more communicative than no thought
English and explaining myself is a pain in the ass
Always afraid of verbal chess but I could just stop playing, hmm
[#]ActuallyAutistic #Communication
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Reminder to Allistic folks: the religious and end-of-year holidays are starting up and Autistic folks are either having the time of their lives and/or hanging on by a thread, bear with us
I'm not apologizing, this is society's fault for treating a part of the year special and making a big deal out of it
[#]ActuallyAutistic
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[#]AskingAutistics : Curious because still evaluating whether I've been in Autsitic burnout before or not (prevailing theory is no) and feel like starting an experience dump because it seems like a fun topic: how is your relationship with caffeine intake and Autistic burnout? Do you find it worsens the situation long-term, do you find it remediates it short-term? What are your experiences with having coffee/tea/energy drinks/etc. during a burnout state?
[#]ActuallyAutistic
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The RSD panic to Shutdown pipeline is real and it sucksssssss
[#]ActuallyAutistic #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAuDHD
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I keep relearning this lesson and wish it would stick:
Me feeling like crap isn't just something to just ignore and power through in order to work
Me feeling like crap is my body telling me I'm not taking good care of it and it has needs that are not being fulfilled
And if I just take care of my body, I won't have nearly as much of the difficulty holding me back from being productive (outside of the usual neuro-disabilities)
Proper food, hydration, rest, socialization, interest play, consistency/routine, comfort, etc.
I wish we all had more time to be able to take care of our needs instead of having to bust ass to meet demand
[#]ActuallyAutistic #ActuallyADHD #Productivity #Needs
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[#]AskingAutistics I know this is not common but any fellow Auties here ever get promoted to a director or executive role in a company? I may have an opportunity and could use one or two folks to ask some questions on experiences, etc., would want to privately discuss. Thanks in advance!
[#]actuallyautistic
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