[Westminster] Stressing this was not about undoing Brexit, PM Sir Kier Starmer today announced a reset of British relations with the EU. New policies include: standing outside the EU's house after dark, putting vaguely threatening love notes on their car, and nuisance phone calls. "It's important that we re-establish an effective trade deal with EU", a spokesman said, "and we believe late-night calls consisting of heavy breathing is the right choice for Britain. Also we should kill their pet".
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