[Westminster] Staff say Sir Kier Starmer, Prime Minister, was recycled after taking a nap in a polythene bag on the doorstep of No. 10 today. An aide commented "he snuck off for a crafty kip. Next thing we knew, the dustmen had come and he was gone!" Westminster City Council said: "Unfortunately, we can't help as there's no way to tell Sir Kier apart from all the other paper products". At press time, a bespectacled egg carton was seen in No. 10 boring everyone's tits off about its toolmaker dad.
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