@janisf @joshsusser this is absolutely a fair time to one-up
monkeys learn from what other monkeys express disdain/appreciation for
the only time it's, IMO, ok to domineer a conversation and be quite socially rude is at a time like this
when abandoning fairness in the short view is being more fair at large
"no, you look like an idiot and I will take you down a peg for saying that"
taken down a peg, is harm
be a bigot? face an expectation of social disapproval/harm
"turn the other cheek" doesn't work with a bigot or a sadist, don't try it
do NOT sidle up, do NOT be on their side, literally do not be soft power, be hard power. If the hard power is not that you can evict them but that you can leave, then that's still demonstrating to the other monkeys that they can and will, sometimes, be judged for bigotry.
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