So it does turn out the if you talk to the actual support people, they can manually flip a switch so that you can disable gemini on gmail and other things!
My (web) inbox is now beautifully non infected with gemini!
Huge thanks to @janl for https://writing.jan.io/2025/01/17/how-to-disable-google-gemini-in-your-workspace.html for suggesting this was even possible in the first place
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