I've seen a lot of reaction to the Neil Gaiman situation, with much screaming of "YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!" at people who were close to him.
In the late 70s, my dad and I were friends with a man and his son through Boy
Scouts. Turns out the father was on the verge of becoming a serial killer, and we had NO FREAKING IDEA. The guy was always charming and generous and kind to us.
Manipulators only let you see what they want you to see.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Edward_Robinson
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