And now the news, don't touch that dial!
• Starmer announces new policy to "phone EU in the middle of the night and breath heavily"
• DeepBlue achieves "consciousness" and "ennui"
• All is now Reform UK! Bow to its will, subcreatures, and embrace oblivion!
• Wealthy fish offers tours of Washington State to other rich marine animals
[#]ukpolitics #ukpol #news #satire
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