Ancestors

Written by Green Roc Thoughts on 2025-01-19 at 23:43

DEAR GOVERNMENT!

REDUCE THE RESPONSE LOAD!!!!

Paperwork, phone calls, emails... it's enough to drive people insane, or at least in my case, worn away TWO friends into ex-friends.

The systems (Fair Housing, Health and Human Services, utilities, landlord, etc) really do have me overwhelmed with all their communication requirements.

I hate how the systems (providing me with basic needs) keep adding more "respond or lose support" tasks that two humans cant deal with everything without giving up.

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Written by Green Roc Thoughts on 2025-01-19 at 23:47

I've lost friendships over this stuff.

Trusting only friends to manage these things I cannot manage myself.

I cannot manage.

CANT. Literally.

The "cant" isnt up to me. The "cant" is the other humans requiring the paperwork, interacting with the paperwork, receiving phone calls... most of them cannot stand communicating with me.

They cannot stand for my disabled mouth speaking/responding.

I cant control other people.

Bank teller hung up on me.

Never found out why.

Was I too loud? Maybe.

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Written by Green Roc Thoughts on 2025-01-19 at 23:50

And when dealing with police?

Look out Green!

Strapped to a gurney.

Literally... last November.

Cant let me walk back to my own home. I tried but oh they takcled me.

I needed a ride to the hospital, but my word were not making sense because I was having word salad.

I get really scared when I have word salad. I keep having these episodes, twice went to full unconscious for several days... and I get told I was conscious because I was moving around.

I was not fucking consicous you morons.

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Written by Green Roc Thoughts on 2025-01-19 at 23:51

And why why did any of that happen?

Overstressed.

Overwhelmed.

expected to answer immediately, respond to this deadline, fill out this paperwork, make these calls.

I couldnt even dial 911 when I reached the point of word salad.

I'm afraid it will happen again if the systems out there that require paperwork and phone calls dont turn down their ongoing demands. MAKE IT LESS DAMMIT. It's TOO MUCH. My brain shuts down.

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Written by Green Roc Thoughts on 2025-01-19 at 23:54

With the loss of this friendship that was a friend managing the bills and the paperwork and phone calls (and getting them authorized took a damned PoA to get notarized so she can get past the HIPPA barriers to help me with my needs to speak on my behalf)...

NOw I'm left without the means to pay for laundry, having lost my ATM card sometime during the move, and my inheritance supply has been frozen because the ex friend did some illegal shit before we broke up.

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Written by Green Roc Thoughts on 2025-01-19 at 23:57

I need assistance to get to the bank to help talk to them for me. I know of nobody I trust. Nobody. And the paid help ($189 per hour) is not allowed to drive me anywhere (policy). They can hire an uber/lyft for me.

The last time I was at the bank on my own, they infantilized me after I told them I was autistic and needed more time to communicate.

Babying me, I paraphrase: "honey, you are doing a good job"... with that sweet voice you use to talk to dogs.

I dont want to deal with that again.

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Written by Green Roc Thoughts on 2025-01-19 at 23:59

I'm not asking for that help in this post, I'm ranting about how much these system needed for covering basic needs are overburdoning me with requirements for communications, with expectations of voice presentation I cannot present when I am stressed...

I am stressed whenever I am outside, because I am wearing clothes that hurt to wear, and having to deal with complete strangers who could dial 911 in seconds, and I'll be attacked by cops again.

Too easy to lock me up, too damned easy.

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Toot

Written by Green Roc Thoughts on 2025-01-20 at 00:01

Too easy to lock me up, too easy to deny me basic needs, too damned hard to keep all those documents completed properly and sent in on time... when I struggle to get myself to the mailbox.

These systems requiring paperwork need to cut back on all this damned paperwork before it kills me!

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Descendants

Written by Green Roc Thoughts on 2025-01-20 at 00:07

I could go on for hours about how this amount of communication requirements is disabling and hindering my life for lack of supports needed to deliver communications back to these corporations and government bodies.

I'm going to go distract myself with something enjoyable... some video games... before I make myself have a meltdown from the upsetting feelings I am getting by speaking against the system that currently exists.

Reduce response load, please be less disabling to my disabled life

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Written by Green Roc Thoughts on 2025-01-20 at 00:13

But Green! You type so much and so well!

Yes but this is in the universe of the mastodon place.

Basic needs documentations and phone calls do not exist in spaces where I can comfortably communicate in text.

Cant get my fingers to use the damned tiny af phone keyboard. And the sight of paperwork immediately triggers my fight/flight mode.

Paperwork has, over time, developed a strong repulsive reflex from me, which only gets stronger everytime paperwork is forced upon me.

Phone calls, I scream

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