Ancestors

Toot

Written by digitalfox on 2024-12-27 at 07:51

I've had a couple folks compliment my laughter, especially when they're teasing* me, and… I dunno.

In the moment, I worry about being off-putting to those around me. Afterwards, I wonder if they're feeling obligated because of how positively I respond to their attention.

It's weird. I have to wrestle myself to not frequently ask if they're actually happy or just trying to be nice to me. To not fret that if I let myself continue to express shy happiness about things, some folks will go until they're burn out.

…and, I mean, one notable friend did burn out, but.. they said it wasn't my fault. I still feel unsure.

(* It's more of pleasantly overwhelming while being caring, weighted blanket-like teasing. Not derogatory teasing.)

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Descendants

Written by Müllermeier on 2024-12-27 at 17:17

@digitalfox

I used to struggle with self-doubt a lot too. I was wondering if my friends and people in general were just putting up with me or really liked being around. The best advice I have gotten to that is to present an opportunity for the other person(s) to leave a given conversation. (Subtly, not directly asking them of course). Sometimes they keep talking, sometimes they won’t. In any case I could be sure they don’t just “put up” with me.

And I know knowing that is one thing, but feelings are another beast entirely. Growing confidence is not easy, and you’re never really done with it. But it gets better.

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Written by digitalfox on 2024-12-27 at 23:52

@muellermeier Thank you.

And.. I think I'm learning to go the direction you mentioned - occasionally making remarks like "Hey, if you're getting tired / want a break from teasing me / etc, we can pause here." Trying to sound natural about it. I think I'm doing a bit better nowadays, despite still slipping up (as I did earlier today). Intentionally being vulnerable and receptive without anxiety spilling all over the place is.. hard.

I appreciate your perspective as someone who's grown a lot (err, metaphorically speaking, of course). Every day is another opportunity to move forward.

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Written by Müllermeier on 2024-12-28 at 00:23

@digitalfox

I was actually thinking about even more subtle stuff, like “Hey I’m thirsty, wanna grab something to drink?” Stuff like that provides an easy cutoff point for them, good for changing topics too. All without making it obvious. At least that worked best for me.

And yeah, fighting anxiety is hard indeed. It never goes away completely. I still struggle with it enough.

Metaphorically hm? XD

lil rascal you :P

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Written by digitalfox on 2024-12-28 at 04:20

@muellermeier Ohhhh…

I've offered to pause for a glass of water or something, and sometimes I've asked because I needed it, but I've never considered pretending that I needed to do so (when I didn't) as a way to give others an easy place to cut things off. I'll consider this.

Ah, okay. I misunderstood your initial remark as having solved your anxiety - which, don't get me wrong, would've been awesome! But I was a little surprised. Noted that's not so, and ongoing good luck.

…and yeah, I've only seen this form of you be tiny >:3 Though I could be wrong… >//>';

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Written by Müllermeier on 2024-12-28 at 10:55

@digitalfox

Well, you always need water to stay hydrated. It’s healthy to drink even if you don’t feel thirsty. And its so effective precisely because it’s such an everyday normal thing to say (it helps that I drink a lot of water).

Don’t see it as pretending, see it as killing two birds with one stone. Because really that’s what it is.

No prob :3

It’s not that there is a canon size or anything, I just draw what I feel like atm.

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Written by digitalfox on 2024-12-28 at 15:39

@muellermeier

Ah… So I might say "I could get some water" or something, rather than saying I'm thirsty when I'm not, but that's just the exact phrasing - the goal is to interrupt conversation to drink more water. It'd be more involved for VR, and not as plausible for text conversation, but it'd still do the job.

And noted on size ^^

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Written by Müllermeier on 2024-12-29 at 08:46

@digitalfox yeah, text has different rules entirely. Thats true

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