Toots for Dawn@chaosfem.tw account

Written by Dawn Chloe (Injection Arc) on 2025-01-22 at 14:50

The executive branch of the government of the United States has declared my very existence to be unlawful. I am a criminal by the nature of my birth, and regardless of any thing I may or may not have done up until now.

So there’s no more “be gay, do crime”, because we ARE crime.

Fuckin’ owning it.

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Written by Dawn Chloe (Injection Arc) on 2025-01-22 at 13:46

This is one of my favorite lines from V for Vendetta. It speaks to me about holding on to our memories and our truth. It’s about the power of love. It’s about integrity.

“It's strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years I had roses and I apologized to nobody.”

Alan Moore, V for Vendetta

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Written by Dawn Chloe (Injection Arc) on 2025-01-22 at 01:39

She immediately asked “What do I call you? What are your name and pronouns?”, and I started crying because no one has ever asked me that before. I told her, and she put her hands up to her cheeks and said “Oh my God, that’s such a pretty name!” and started crying too.

I don’t know that I’ve ever felt so loved before.

I cannot express how beautiful this is for me.

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Written by Dawn Chloe (Injection Arc) on 2025-01-21 at 21:36

Y’all, the world looks bleak right now. I know. I’m in it too.

But I just came out to my oldest daughter (34) and it was one of the most beautiful experiences in my entire life. The sun is shining on me like it never has before and I am glowing.

Focus on the good things.

[#]TransJoy

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Written by Dawn Chloe (Injection Arc) on 2025-01-21 at 18:48

Goddamn I look fuckin’ adorable on my work webcam. You’re welcome, world.

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Written by Dawn Chloe (Injection Arc) on 2025-01-21 at 15:15

so my weekend consisted of:

Friday - being informed that my wife is no longer interested in any sexual activity, in any form, due to menopause. Intimacy is just not important to her any more.

Saturday - being informed that my transition is “too hard” for her to really process. She’s going along with it because she knows I’ll die before detransitioning, and she prefers me alive.

Sunday - serious discussions about the future of our relationship, and what it means to us, how we move forward to ensure each of our needs are met, etc. without losing each other.

Just a ton of emotions, a lot of crying, and a lot of open honest communication. It was hard. The hardest weekend I can remember.

Topped off with y’know, all the fascism yesterday and what THAT means for us.

I’m exhausted. It’s 21 January 2025 and despite all of this I’m…hopeful(?). I dunno. What difference does it make if I die in a fascist regime if living means to exist without pleasure and intimacy? I’m lonely, I’m hurting, and I don’t know what I’m going to do. But the only way out of a pit is to start climbing, and the only way out of Hell is through. No one - NO ONE - is coming to save me.

I choose hope and I’m going to fight for it.

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Written by Dawn Chloe (Injection Arc) on 2025-01-20 at 21:23

I went back and looked at a few of the FaceApp pictures I had saved earlier in my journey, and honestly? I think I beat FaceApp.

I mean, they were great inspiration. They help my egg crack they helped me keep moving forward. But the AI girl in those pictures is almost cartoonishly wrong, in much the same way FaceApp misses the mark when I have it gender swap a current picture back to male.

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Written by Dawn Chloe (Injection Arc) on 2025-01-20 at 19:00

Went to Jimmy John’s to pick up lunch, wearing a men’s jacket. It was busy, and therefore scary because I’m wearing eyeliner.

Used my new and ever improving voice to tell them I was here to pick up my order (in my name), got correctly gendered the entire time, and left without incident.

Even with all the shit, it’s a good day. Find joy wherever you can, friends.

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Written by Dawn Chloe (Injection Arc) on 2025-01-20 at 17:58

Heartbroken.

But I AM the resistance. We all are.

[#]EyelinerPhase

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Written by Dawn Chloe (Injection Arc) on 2025-01-20 at 16:07

Fucking hell Apple Music is politely serving me a steady stream of breakup songs after the worst weekend of my life.

Fun. Thanks.

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Written by Dawn Chloe (Injection Arc) on 2025-01-20 at 14:26

I hate this timeline. I don’t just hate being trans in this timeline, I hate existing at all in it. Even imagining myself as a normie.

Like I got light headed yesterday, twice, so I checked my blood pressure and it was fairly low for me: 105/80. My spouse wondered what TOO LOW was, so she googled my reading to see if it was high or low.

Google AI triumphantly proclaimed at the top of the results that 105/80 was hypertension. Just flat out, 100% incorrect information. Information that Is fucking important. Links to actual, correct ranges were buried much farther down the page.

Like…how are we supposed to USE any of this? When the internet started becoming mainstream, it was hailed as a “worldwide repository of all of our knowledge”. But what fucking GOOD is it if you can’t discern what’s actually real?!

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