(Not a knock, I enjoyed it. But for all the praise, I just don't think this is one that anybody is going to remember or care much about in a couple of years.)
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Okay, just curious... show of hands... it has now been three months since Alien: Romulus was released. How many of you are still excited about it, and how many of you are already kind of starting to have a hard time remembering the details?
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I think it’s great that anti-fraud measures are getting more sophisticated and capable, but when you’re a dining critic who has to constantly juggle fake identities, man, it’s a real drag.
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Kind of loving that after taking a credit for the tickets I exchanged in 2024, the first payment on my 2025 Cubs season tickets worked out to $1908.
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I mean, it’s not “Bowel-shaking earthquakes of doubt and remorse assail him, impale him with monster truck force” tier, but it’s up there.
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I wouldn’t call myself an Ok Go fan, per se, but “All lipstick and callous and fishnets and malice” might be one of my favorite turns of phrase of all time.
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In the spirit of the season, behold 13 of the most ghastly, terrifying, and disturbing dishes I have had the misfortune of tasting as a dining critic in Phoenix.
First up, "cheese crisps." Yes, those are packaged tortillas topped with Kraft singles and microwaved.
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Ask not for whom the trombone bones; it bones for thee.
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Hey, people who bring your dogs into restaurants (increasing trend). They’re adorable. I love them. But you’re putting restaurant employees in a terrible position, where they either have to ask you to leave or risk getting in trouble with the health department. It’s selfish. Don’t do it.
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I kept thinking about that John Mulaney bit about What’s New, Pussycat and half-expected them to mix in a 36.4-second clip of Gloria before going back to Self Control.
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Okay. Checked out without incident. Currently in the car, listening to the full song just to make sure there IS a full song and I haven’t slipped into an alternate timeline where that’s actually how it goes.
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Not going to say anything. I wouldn’t want to deprive future diners of this experience. Also I kinda want to come back next week and see if it’s still playing.
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Okay, time to amble up to the counter and pay the bill. Do I say something or let it ride?
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This was actually one of my favorite songs when I was, like, seven or eight years old. I can’t help but feel like this is significant somehow.
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Then I caught the clumsy edit and got out the stopwatch. 36.4 seconds. Again and again.
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At first, I thought it was some mega-extended mix, but I realized after about 10 minutes that we still hadn’t heard about how she lives among the creatures of the night but hasn’t got the will to try and fight.
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We’re almost done, but I’m reluctant to leave. I kind of want to see where this is going.
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🎵 In the day, nothing matters. It’s the nighttime that matters 🎶
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Considered the possibility that we’re in hell, but the food is delicious.
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Staff in and out, other customers, woman at the register taking orders and calls, another doing paperwork at the counter — are we the only ones who notice?
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