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Horace Harold Schmunken

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Audio file with ID3 version 2.4.0, 128 kbps, 44.1 kHz, JntStereo

Title: Horace Harold Schmunken

Artist: Mr. Beany's Bitty Band

Duration: 14:17

Album: 50/90 2017

Lyricist: S.W. Black

Album Artist: Mr. Beany's Bitty Band

Music Genre: crapcapella

Date: 2017

Lyrics

I think I might sing a story.

What kind of story should I sing?

How about the one that's full of glory?

How about the one that's fun for me?

I would like to tell you about a man.

A man named Horace Harold Schmunken.

Horace Harold Schmunken,

he was a yucky man.

Horace Harold Schmunken,

he liked to dig in dirt, that's right.

He liked to dig in dirt.

What kind kind of dirt did he did in?

Did he dig in Garden's dirt?

No! Not that Horace!

Horace Harold Schmunken!

Not that Horace!

He liked to dig in social dirt.

He liked to dig in social dirt.

Horace Harold Schmunken,

he was not a good man.

And one day he decided to go

as far as he could.

He went far away to

a distant, distant land and

he dig in the trash of

a very important person.

Horace Harold Schmunken

dug in the trash of a wizard.

Horace Harold Schmunken

dug in the trash of our favorite wizard!

Horace Harold Schmunken

found a destroyed, damaged artifact.

Horace Harold Schmunken,

he thought it looked good on his shelf.

He took that for himself.

Horace Harold Schmunken,

he had the artifact.

Horace Harold Schmunken,

he would not give it back.

He found it in the trash, and

he thought it looked so fun, but

that artifact, that artifact

needed to be burned and

that old wizard's trash was

all slated to be burned, but

without the artifact there

that artifact survived.

That artifact survived!

That little artifact,

that little artifact,

it looked like a little statue, but

it was in fact

a demon turned to stone

by that wizard's gleeful eye.

A demon turned to stone with

a wooden heart inside.

And that wooden heart,

protected by that stone,

still would be destroyed in

fire, oh so fine, but

Horace Harold Schmunken,

he stole that artifact.

Horace Harold Schmunken,

he stole that artifact.

That demon in that stone

slowly gained his powers back.

That demon in that stone, its

heart, it grew in fact.

It grew and sprouted from within

expanding the stony outer shell.

It grew and spread all trough-out sin and

soon it was in the room as well.

And Horace Harold Schmunken's room, it

had this weird, weird, weird-weird thing.

And Horace Harold Schmunken, he

touched it and sealed his doom!

Horace Harold Schmunken,

he was an evil man, and

Horace Harold Schmunken,

he touched that artifact.

Horace Harold Schmunken, he

would not live that long.

He touched that growing obscene thing and then

he sprouted two long dongs.

Two long dongs reached to the ground and

threw him to the sky.

Two long dongs they grew

to ground and soon

he was so high, because

Horace Harold Schmunken, he

touched that artifact.

Evil grew inside of him and stretched

and stretched him to the sky.

Horace Harold Schmunken

with the evil now within.

It saw the evil there before and

and knew he was his kin.

Horace Harold Schmunken

and the demon now within,

Horace Harold Schmunken

they wanted, oh, to win.

But, you know, it took them just a little

longer than they thought.

In his hut, it grew and sprouted

soon it was not for naught.

He did finish

transforming his insides and

soon Horace Schmunken's

shell it split aside.

And out crawled the demon

with Horace now inside.

Out, crawled the demon, and

it's Horace's turn to cry, because

Horace Harold Schmunken,

he touched that artifact.

Horace Harold Schmunken

that demon's now got a snack.

That demon as it crawled out it

ate all that Horace had loved.

Horace was an evil man, and

loved nothing so that's what it was.

Horace Harold Schmunken

prevented that evil's growth because

Horace Harold Schmunken

had nothing to feed its soul, and so

Horace Harold Schmunken

and the evil he was inside,

Horace Harold Schmunken,

he was not all bad inside, because

Horace Harold Schmunken

even though he was pure evil,

Horace Harold Schmunken

had nothing good left that he could feel, and

Horace Harold Schmunken

had nothing to feed that demon.

Horace Harold Schmunken

starved that demon within.

But inside that demon's breast,

you know Horace, he cried.

Inside that demon's breast,

Horace could not survive

Horace Harold Schmunken,

he withered from within.

Horace Harold Schmunken

was consumed by his sin.

And that demon as it grew it

walked along the land.

It was sometimes confused for a

human from the human lands.

That demon it wanted to

find the wizard that had locked it.

That demon, it wanted,

wanted to destroy that wizard.

That wizard, he did

not know the demon was free.

Yes, that wizard, he did

not think to see.

And as the demon walked,

eventually, he did find.

He found the wizard's home

with the wizard's kids inside.

That demon it was now hungry

it had shrunken quite small,

it looked like a wee child itself, and

it wanted to eat more.

However, the children of a wizard

know things that other children might not think of.

They knew how to spot that

demon in that child.

They knew the demon was there inside.

For that demon you know

it now looked like a child.

That demon, you know was

quite hungry inside.

But that wizard's good children, yes,

offered the demon some food.

Enchanted food it was, of course, and the

demon's head it blew! That

head blew off its neck, and

the neck unfurled big and

inside that demon's bloody chest there

was a little pig, and

those kids they decided that

the pig should be named Horace, in

honor of that horrible thing that stole the demon before, and

after that pig they grew,

the children butchered it, and

they all ate that piggy's flesh even

the littlest kid, and so

Horace Harold Schmunken

he got what he deserved, and

the children of the wizard,

enjoyed their barbecue.

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=> Found on: 50/90 2017

=> Category: Lo-Fi Folk Acapella


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