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Horace Harold Schmunken

by S.W. Black

Copyright © 2017 S.W. Black.

Some Rights Reserved.

Creative Commons Attribution License.

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<00:01.529>I think <00:04.310>I might <00:06.504>sing a story.

<00:10.083>What kind of story <00:14.289>should I sing?

<00:17.972>How about the one that's full of glory?

<00:26.488>How about the one <00:29.623>that's fun for me?

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<00:33.489>I would like <00:38.400>to tell you about <00:42.188>a man.

<00:43.233>A man <00:44.278>named Horace <00:45.767>Harold Schmunken.

<00:49.554>Horace Harold Schmunken,

<00:53.290>he was a yucky man.

00:57.704 --> 01:15.781

<00:57.704>Horace Harold Schmunken,

<01:02.328>he liked to dig in dirt, that's right.

<01:06.730>He liked to dig in dirt.

<01:11.131>What kind kind of dirt did he did in?

01:15.781 --> 01:40.833

<01:15.781>Did he dig in Garden's dirt?

<01:19.177>No! <01:20.300>Not that Horace!

<01:24.114>Horace Harold Schmunken!

<01:27.876>Not that Horace!

<01:31.977>He liked to dig in social dirt.

<01:36.392>He liked to dig in social dirt.

01:40.833 --> 01:57.055

<01:40.833>Horace Harold Schmunken,

<01:44.725>he was not a good man.

<01:48.513>And one day he decided to go

<01:52.953>as far as he could.

01:57.055 --> 02:14.034

<01:57.055>He went far away to

<02:01.313>a distant, distant land and

<02:05.518>he dig in the trash of

<02:09.776>a very important person.

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<02:14.034>Horace Harold Schmunken

<02:18.501>dug in the trash of a wizard.

<02:22.393>Horace Harold Schmunken

<02:26.495>dug in the trash of our favorite wizard!

02:30.831 --> 02:50.815

<02:30.831>Horace Harold Schmunken

<02:35.324>found a destroyed, damaged artifact.

<02:39.321>Horace Harold Schmunken,

<02:42.795>he thought it looked good on his shelf.

<02:47.523>He took that for himself.

02:50.815 --> 03:08.134

<02:50.815>Horace Harold Schmunken,

<02:56.222>he had the artifact.

<03:00.637>Horace Harold Schmunken,

<03:04.242>he would not give it back.

03:08.134 --> 03:46.944

<03:08.134>He found it in the trash, and

<03:12.392>he thought it looked so fun, but

<03:16.441>that artifact, that artifact

<03:21.169>needed to be burned and

<03:24.643>that old wizard's trash was

<03:28.823>all slated to be burned, but

<03:32.924>without the artifact there

<03:36.842>that artifact survived.

<03:40.682>That artifact survived! <03:45.097>

03:46.944 --> 04:18.612

<03:46.944>That little artifact,

<03:52.202>that little artifact,

<03:57.897>it looked like a little statue, but

<04:03.278>it was in fact

<04:08.189>a demon turned to stone

<04:13.022>by that wizard's gleeful eye.

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<04:18.612>A demon turned to stone with

<04:23.340>a wooden heart inside.

<04:28.408>And that wooden heart,

<04:31.817>protected by that stone,

<04:36.898>still would be destroyed in

<04:40.738>fire, oh so fine, but

04:44.865 --> 05:01.636

<04:44.865>Horace <04:46.015>Harold Schmunken,

<04:49.358>he stole that artifact.

<04:53.878>Horace Harold Schmunken,

<04:57.900>he stole that arifact.

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<05:01.636>That demon in that stone

<05:06.782>slowly gained his powers back.

<05:10.727>That demon in that stone, its

<05:13.652>heart, it grew <05:15.533>in fact.

05:17.753 --> 05:34.106

<05:17.753>It grew and sprouted from within

<05:21.750>expanding the stoney outer shell.

<05:25.904>It grew and spread all troughout sin and

<05:30.109>soon it was in the room as well.

05:34.106 --> 05:49.414

<05:34.106>And Horace Harold Schmunken's room, it

<05:38.233>had this weird, weird, weird-weird thing.

<05:42.335>And Horace Harold Schmunken, he

<05:45.887>touched it and sealed his doom!

05:49.414 --> 06:06.002

<05:49.414>Horace Harold Schmunken,

<05:53.541>he was an evil man, and

<05:57.747>Horace Harold Schmunken,

<06:02.057>he touched that artifact.

06:06.002 --> 06:23.713

<06:06.002>Horace Harold Schmunken, he

<06:10.547>would not live that long.

<06:14.410>He touched that growing oscene thing and then

<06:19.507>he sprouted two long dongs.

06:23.713 --> 06:39.308

<06:23.713>Two long dongs reached to the ground and

<06:27.396>threw him to the sky.

<06:31.184>Two long dongs they grew

<06:33.639>to ground and soon

<06:35.624>he was so high, because

06:39.308 --> 06:55.190

<06:39.308>Horace Harold Schmunken, he

<06:43.174>touched that artifact.

<06:47.510>Evil grew inside of him and stretched

<06:51.373>and stretched him to the sky.

06:55.190 --> 07:11.326

<06:55.190>Horace Harold Schmunkin

<06:59.327>with the evil now within.

<07:04.098>It saw the evil there before and

<07:07.134>and knew he was his kin.

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<07:11.326>Horace Harold Schmunken

<07:15.001>and the demon now within,

<07:19.536>Horace Harold Schmunken

<07:22.315>they wanted, oh, to win.

07:26.616 --> 07:43.922

<07:26.616>But, you know, it took them just a little

<07:32.362>longer than they thought.

<07:35.676>In his hut, it grew and sprouted

<07:39.460>soon it was not for naught.

07:43.922 --> 07:59.478

<07:43.922>He did finish

<07:47.327>transforming his insides and

<07:51.928>soon Horace Schmunken's

<07:55.390>shell it split aside.

07:59.478 --> 08:15.438

<07:59.478>And out crawled the demon

<08:02.971>with Horace now inside.

<08:07.650>Out, crawled the demon, and

<08:11.651>it's Horace's turn to cry, because

08:15.438 --> 08:31.504

<08:15.438>Horace Harold Schmunken,

<08:19.644>he touched that artifact.

<08:23.073>Horace Harold Schmunken

<08:27.059>that demon's now got a snack.

08:31.504 --> 08:46.942

<08:31.504>That demon as it crawled out it

<08:35.213>ate all that Horace had loved.

<08:39.314>Horace was an evil man, and

<08:42.998>loved nothing so that's what it was.

08:46.942 --> 09:02.632

<08:46.942>Horace Harold Schmunken

<08:50.364>prevented that evil's growth because

<08:55.039>Horace Harold Schmunken

<08:58.305>had nothing to feed its soul, and so

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<09:02.632>Horace Harold Schmunken

<09:05.593>and the evil he was inside,

<09:09.460>Horace Harold Schmunken,

<09:12.882>he was not all bad inside, because

<09:17.508>Horace Harold Schmunken

<09:20.797>even though he was pure evil,

<09:24.898>Horace Harold Schmunken

<09:27.902>had nothing good left that he could feel, and

<09:31.742>Horace Harold Schmunken

<09:35.112>had nothing to feed that demon.

09:39.161 --> 09:55.513

<09:39.161>Horace Harold Schmunken

<09:42.087>starved that demon within.

<09:45.143>But inside <09:48.591>that demon's breast,

<09:50.606>you know <09:51.621>Horace, he cried.

09:55.513 --> 10:17.900

<09:55.513>Inside that demon's breast,

<09:58.644>Horace could not survive

<10:02.514>Horace Harold Schmunken,

<10:06.772>he whithered from within.

<10:10.664>Horace Harold Schmunken

<10:14.287>was consumed by his sin.

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<10:17.900>And that demon as it grew it

<10:22.184>walked along the land.

<10:25.633>It was sometimes confused for a

<10:29.142>human from the human lands.

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<10:33.051>That demon it wanted to

<10:36.944>find the wizard that had locked it.

<10:40.993>That demon, <10:41.959>it wanted,

<10:45.277>wanted to destroy that wizard.

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<10:49.535>That wizard, he did

<10:52.748>not know the demon was free.

<10:55.974>Yes, that wizard, he did

<10:59.749>not think to see.

<11:02.805>And as the demon walked,

<11:07.029>eventually, he did find.

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<11:11.373>He found the wizard's home

<11:13.795>with the wizard's kids inside.

<11:18.060>That demon it was now hungry

<11:21.561>it had <11:24.016>shrunken quite small,

<11:26.733>it looked like a wee child itself, and

<11:29.769>it wanted to eat more. <11:33.734>

11:39.716 --> 12:21.769

<11:39.716>However, <11:44.287>the children of a wizard

<11:49.407>know things that other children might not think of.

<11:58.106>They knew how to spot that

<12:02.129>demon in that child.

<12:06.753>They knew the demon was there inside.

<12:13.192>For that demon you know

<12:17.698>it now looked like a child.

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<12:21.769>That demon, you know was

<12:25.300>quite hungry inside.

<12:30.028>But that wizard's good <12:33.868>children, yes,

<12:36.323>offered <12:37.211>the demon some food.

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<12:42.175>Enchanted food it was, of course, and the

<12:48.104>demon's head it blew! That

<12:53.068>head blew off its neck, and

<12:58.998>the neck unfurled big and

<13:04.562>inside that demon's bloody chest there

<13:10.439>was a little pig, and

<13:15.690>those kids they decided that

<13:21.019>the pig should be named Horace, in

<13:26.687>honor of that horrible thing that stole the demon before, and

<13:36.718>after that pig they grew,

<13:41.760>the children butchered it, and

<13:45.913>they all ate that piggy's flesh even

<13:51.242>the littlest kid, and so

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<13:56.624>Horace Harold Schmunken

<14:01.482>he got what he deserved, and

<14:06.132>the children of the wizard,

<14:11.174>enjoyed their barbeque. <14:15.484> <14:17.000>