Hi, I just wanted to share some realization I just had with you gals, that just blew my mind.
I'm sure some of you will relate.
I told my girlfriend @transeignante (who's cute, and pretty, and smart, and kind😊) that I wanted to have a romantic dinner with her on the têt evening, since it would be the first year in a long time I wouldn't have my family to celebrate the new year. She asked me what we would need.
"A kumquat tree, a pretty dress, and you lov"
Until now, I was sure it began with puberty at around 13 to 15yo, but I suddenly realized that it was so much older, like 20 to 25 years ago.
We used to gather every year with my familly to celebrate the têt, and we would all wear expensive traditional clothes (some of you trans gals might see what's coming now). I just remembered that a year, when I was around 6 to 8yo, I got so very fucking jealous at my mom because she had this beautiful red Ao Dai stitched with gold. I can still see that fucking dress in my head when I close my eyes. I wanted to wear it sooo bad, but I wasn't allowed to.
I remember that I was to make a little show that I trained for, as it is customary (likely piano or flute? Don't remember). I was so happy to show off, then my Ba Noï got the boy traditional shirt🤢.
"It's okay if you don't want to do it anymore, but you have to tell me why otherwise it means you are lazy, and no son of mine will ever be lazy".
I couldn't tell her, because school and society already taught me internalized transphobia, so I got grounded. The absolute worst is that if I had told her, she would have bought me the damn dress with her mom's hearings to match, and it would have been a very different life, but the risk was too big. I'm so pissed at every one in the street now because it should not be!
Then that sentiment followed me, and I had to suffer that stupid red dress each and every f*ing year for a whole day. And I hated the têt. Well that will change in 2025. Beware, because I'll be the sexiest bitch in this fancy restaurant, with the prettiest Ao Dai you'll ever see!
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