I've been telling my kids for most of their lives that a joke means everyone agrees it's a joke. That doesn't mean everyone thinks it's funny, but it's not a joke unless everyone gets to be in on it. (This is part of explaining why teasing or bullying isn't "just a joke".)
My 11yo asked me why I don't like pranks and I realized, after years of explaining "what a joke is" to them, it's because pranks aren't jokes. The victim doesn't get to be in on it, so it can't be a joke (by my definition).
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