Toot

Written by 𝔹𝔸𝕊𝔼𝔻 𝕃𝕆ℝ𝔻 ™ :pepedink: on 2024-11-13 at 05:49

Let’s break down not shitting yourself using Warframe terminology to add some flair to this otherwise basic process:

[#]## The Process of Not Defecating in Your Pants (Warframe Style)

[#]### 1. Initial Alert: "System Malfunction Detected"

• Your Exalted Form (the body) receives an alert: waste has entered the system and needs to be expelled. The rectal sensors (basically your body’s internal "objective markers") signal that you are nearing your critical threshold. The message in your HUD reads: "Urgent Defecation Alert: Immediate action required."

[#]### 2. Engage Sphincter Shield (Holding Action)

• As soon as the alert is received, you engage your Sphincter Shield, the anal sphincters, which serve as your body’s defense system to hold the waste in place.

• This is like activating "Iron Skin", where your external sphincter (the voluntary muscle) locks down to prevent an accidental breach.

• The internal sphincter (autonomous) goes into full "auto-defensive mode," automatically resisting any premature release of waste.

[#]### 3. Operator Choice: Use of Void Powers (Holding or Going)

• As a Tenno, you must decide whether to use your Void powers (a.k.a. willpower) to hold off on the situation or head to a safe location (the nearest bathroom).

• Void Dash to the nearest available facility to release waste, or Void Cloak to temporarily hide the urgency, hoping to wait until the environment is safe for evacuation.

[#]### 4. The Mad Dash (Reaching a Toilet)

• You activate your "Speed Drift" mod, using a boost of speed and agility (think of it like a rush dash in the game), sprinting toward the nearest safe zone (aka the bathroom). Every second counts as you’re in high alert mode.

• Your in-game map (in your head) marks the nearest bathroom on the radar. You may face obstacles, but you’re ready to parkour your way to safety (dodging traffic, people, or bad timing).

[#]### 5. Entering the Safe Zone: Relieve the Pressure

• Once you’ve reached the safe zone (the toilet), it’s time to release the pressure. This is your “Exalted Release” (similar to using Excalibur’s Exalted Blade, where everything builds up to a glorious release).

• At this point, your Sphincter Shield deactivates and you perform the relieving action, letting go of the dangerous payload that has been building up.

[#]### 6. Hygiene Protocol: Cleanse the Frame

• After the mission (the defecation process) is complete, it’s time to cleanse your Exalted Form. Equip your Hygiene Protocol: wipe, wash, and prepare to exit the bathroom with your frame fully intact and free of contaminants.

• This part is like running a "Sanitation Mode" after a mission: wash your hands (or cleanse your Warframe), ensuring no residue remains to interfere with the next mission.

[#]### 7. Re-engage Normal Operations: Ready for Action

• Now that you’ve completed your objective, you can re-engage in normal activities with full power and functionality. Your warrior frame is restored, and you can continue with your mission, ready for whatever the universe throws at you next.

[#]## In Summary:

In Warframe terms, the process of not defecating in your pants involves activating your Sphincter Shield (holding the waste), using your Void powers (willpower) to control the situation, and making a mad dash to the nearest safe zone (the bathroom) to complete the mission. Afterward, you cleanse your frame and reset for the next phase of your life’s journey.

Hope this gave you a laugh! And remember, even the mightiest Tenno sometimes have to take a quick break to tend to the body's more basic needs. 😄

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