It shouldn't need to be said, but never, ever, ever have a baby to "fix" a relationship.
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Why do people do this?
"Our marriage is on the rocks. I guess we should have a child. This will help!"
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And they literally do this. This is not an imaginary scenario or even an uncommon one.
What is wrong with people, and why do they come up with the worst reasons to bring a helpless child into the world that will be entirely dependent on them?
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There are great reasons to become a parent! I am childfree, but I can think of some beautiful things about parenthood. But so many people have kids for reasons that have nothing to do with wanting to care for and nurture another person, and I don't fucking get it.
When will we start thinking of children as people?
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My husband's parents had kids because of familial pressure to "give" their parents grandchildren ("giving" someone grandchildren already sounds fucked up—they don't belong to the grandparents OR the parents. They're people.).
His parents were about as nurturing and involved as you could expect from two people who only had children to satisfy some elderly people who were literally about to die & would barely have time to hold the babies before kicking the bucket.
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My husband was born because a woman he never knew demanded it.
That's ridiculous.
I'm sure some would say "it was a different time" and make an excuse for family pressure, but...you know...my parents actually wanted to have and care for all of their children, so other models of parenting existed.
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