Ancestors

Toot

Written by Adam Newbold on 2025-01-21 at 20:58

Since it was a subtweet, I might as well respond:

“Reminder that when you’re angry, lashing out at people who are not the problem is counterproductive.”

I pointed to a person who is unsympathetic toward LGBTQ+ people and who idolizes Elon. People like that are the problem.

“I’m done with the outrage machine. It’s performative.”

Looks like “performative” is the new way to dismiss valid criticism when it’s not convenient.

https://www.manton.org/2025/01/21/reminder-that-when-youre-angry.html

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Descendants

Written by Adam Newbold on 2025-01-21 at 21:17

Rather than dismiss legitimate criticism with pithy labels, why not discuss the very real issues that form the basis of the criticism? I’m ready to have a conversation with anyone, at any time, about how holding certain views can be harmful and hurtful to people, and about how fostering inclusive views is better for everyone on the open web.

But that would mean having to agree that the bad behavior happened, or that it’s even bad in the first place.

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Written by Lou Plummer :prami: on 2025-01-21 at 21:17

@adam Every therapist I've ever known encourages people to talk when they are upset. Looking for a community to understand what bothers us and who share our feelings is kind of the point of having a community. This "keep it to yourself" ethos and the labeling of people who don't as performative isn't something I can get behind.

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Written by Adam Newbold on 2025-01-21 at 21:19

@amerpie Someone in our Discord wisely shared this:

“There's a certain type of person who feels that outrage over the current state of things is ‘performative.’ Such people are often in support of the current state of things.”

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Written by samf on 2025-01-21 at 21:29

@adam "lashing out is counterproductive" - kinda wild that holding people accountable for their words and actions is "lashing out”? Polite, quiet disagreement is how we ended up here, yeah?

It's interesting how they're always down to fuck around, but never want to find out.

(Also interesting how the ones who never want people to "lash out" are the same ones who have the luxury of “ignoring” the current and incoming crises. 👀 https://www.manton.org/2025/01/19/trumps-second-term-which-apparently.html)

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Written by Adam Newbold on 2025-01-21 at 21:38

@samf It’s a luxury for sure. Being able to ignore anything right now comes from a position of incredible privilege.

Same with being able to say that you’re not worried about legislation or executive orders (even though harmful executive orders were signed not even 24 hours ago): https://micro.blog/manton/55586587

But none of these things affect him directly, so he’s unconcerned.

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Written by Blake Watson :prami: on 2025-01-22 at 00:39

@adam @samf This isn’t meant to negate what you’re saying in this context. Just want to add that sometimes ignoring politics is the best one can do.

For example, disability programs might see trouble under the Trump administration, but like, sometimes I just gotta disengage and focus on things that are positive. Being on the national pulse all the time saps a lot of energy. But I do donate to people who do disability advocacy so that somebody’s on top of it lol.

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Written by Adam Newbold on 2025-01-22 at 00:41

@bw @samf You’re 100% right, of course. When disengaging is an act of self-care, that’s something else entirely. ❤️

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Written by Brandon on 2025-01-22 at 03:30

@adam labeling things as performative is often just the "in" way of avoiding accountability and repair.

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Written by Alex Kagno on 2025-01-22 at 07:02

@mbjones @adam isn't... Everything performative? I "virtue signal" constantly. You know why? So people feel safe around me.

Seems to me these people complaining about performative behavior like the idea of treating human beings like drones who eat, buy, and work until they die. Capitalism, man...

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Written by Adam Newbold on 2025-01-22 at 07:06

@ark @mbjones You hit the nail on the head. But the folks who are giving me a hard time don’t understand this, because they don’t know what it means to help people feel safe around them. They’re white guys who surround themselves with other white guys and don’t pause to consider the effects of their words and actions on people who aren’t white guys.

They exist in a power dynamic that was created for them and benefits them tremendously, and when you dare to point that out, they freak out.

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Written by Alex Kagno on 2025-01-22 at 07:13

@adam @mbjones yeah, I mean... I freaked out when I was like... 19? And you know what? I didn't make that any one else's problem. I took the time to reflect and realized that I couldn't talk out both sides of my mouth if I wanted to remain true to my values.

Since I read about emotional immaturity last year, I feel like it continues to come in handy when discussing issues online. A lot of times it just seems like we're speaking different languages. They can't truly understand empathy.

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