Ancestors

Written by Nat Oleander on 2025-01-18 at 22:36

The thing about having childhood trauma is that your siblings have childhood trauma too. And I have 6 siblings.

The last couple of months in particular have been a true roller coaster with several of them. Which is so tough when that coincides with raising a child & trying to navigate how my siblings can be in our baby's life.

Setting healthy boundaries is not easy when you know exactly where their trauma comes from & you have deep compassion for them.

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Toot

Written by Nat Oleander on 2025-01-18 at 22:42

It's been suuuch a process of letting go and knowing that they're going to forge their own relationships with my kid eventually but it's up to me to set the parameters now.

Which includes safety around germ exposure, clear communication about expectations, asking for what we need with no attachment to what's offered, and many other things that our upbringing really didn't set us up for.

I have always prioritized my siblings a lot, and I feel so much guilt but I HAVE to put my baby first.

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Descendants