Ancestors

Toot

Written by Alex Psmith on 2025-01-18 at 04:36

Wanting someone to put effort into a friendship isn't the same thing as expecting someone to suffer for you.

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Descendants

Written by Wonderdog on 2025-01-18 at 04:43

@alexpsmith Can someone else suffer for you? Maybe with? Thinking about this now. Hmmm.

Asking someone to do something injurious to themselves in the name of building friendship doesn’t sound like someone I’d want to be involved with, though.

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Written by Alex Psmith on 2025-01-18 at 04:50

@caity Yes, I was thinking of that time I was really burnt out and looking for a new job after the disastrous corporate merger, and also literally bleeding internally after an endoscopic resection to remove cancer in situ, and I was blocked for telling someone I was too tired to go to the Easter Show with her (which would have involved five hours of travel for me on my Sunday).

That's not expecting someone to put effort into the friendship. That's expecting someone to suffer for your benefit.

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Written by Wonderdog on 2025-01-18 at 04:56

@alexpsmith Farrrrrrrrk. Geeeeze.

1. Shit, what a lot to go through all at once, I’m sorry that happened to you. (I know that doesn’t help.)

2. Anyone who really wanted to build friendship would have travelled to you (if you wanted), or rescheduled something else fun, and at the VERY least said “Is there anything you need/I can do to help?” FFS.

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Written by Alex Psmith on 2025-01-18 at 05:01

@caity I'm glad they're gone because those weren't the actions of a friend. However, as this was a person I trusted, and I do not trust easily, I'm afraid my ability to trust another person has been significantly damaged.

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Written by The Drop Bear 2.0 on 2025-01-18 at 07:56

@alexpsmith Yeah, nah. That’s not ok. @caity

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