I managed to do my workouts again today after stopping 3 weeks ago. I also lost 5-6kg during this same period, and it's not that good. But I'm trying to see a silver lining here: I may be able to wear my old pants again. And weirdly... I feel better in my body somehow. And still. Feelings.
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Working out + physiotherapy + 1km in the water. I hope I'll get a good night of sleep after that.
Also I did a lot of work and made plans.
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Worked a lot today.
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I had a really great night, we worked on a recorded and filmed rehearsal for a teaser and I hope it'll be nice, but we had so much fun.
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I managed to do a lot of things today even I had the feeling that everything had been turned upside down.
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It's been one month. I'm not crying everyday and that's a relief. I chose to set boundaries with some people and I chose to be closer to others. I still feel very lucky to have certain people in my life. I learn a great deal from them. They're like gifts I'm never expecting. And tonight, even if I can still feel this supermassive black hole inside, I feel loved and valued. Well. I may cry after all.
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I had a nice call with someone I like very much today.
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I unlocked a success on InDesign so I'm a bit proud.
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I had (surprise!) extra work when I've been told to call the printshop and manage things directly with them. But I did it anyway and learn stuff I could have known since the beginning, months earlier. Still, now I know what to do and I don't need someone in between to deal with it.
Also: swimming, friends, pizzas, nudes and feelings.
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Slightly drunk at the queer bingo with one of my best friends and I wish I could be more drunk than that because I've been waiting for it for more than one month. Still. We won some stuff and had a great evening together. Love them so much.
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Today I finished the first draw of a big project with Echap. Now I need reviews so I'll do another big project because of deadlines. But I think this first one will be a success and I must say I'm a bit proud of it.
I forgot to add that I found some stuff for the winter and played ukulele.
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Today I cooked something, saw my nibbling, worked a bit on some songs and played ukulele. I also talked a lot with people I like.
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I did some chores, worked a little bit and managed to get my tickets for this thing I've been dreaming about since I was a child. So it feels more real than ever.
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I was afraid to collapse because today was his birthday. But I seemed to have managed. I received a nice letter, had nice talks and worked. To be overwhelmed with work is actually a good idea. That and, to feel loved.
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Today was another day of intensive work, still trying to get everything done before the deadline. Opened the letter, tried to write the beginning of an answer. Went to a cute exhibition of art students. Had a pizza.
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Work work work but I ate a mango today so it can't be a bad day.
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Hopefully I reached two very big deadlines today and I can rest a bit (meaning prepare stuff for the end of the year :gribz_down:).
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I visited the new bookshop in my neighborhood, it's pretty nice.
I read 3 books tonight.
Echap got a second grand for next year (50% less than this year but eh, still something).
These days, work was filling my mind so tonight was a bit harder but I still feel that I can manage and I feel the love around me.
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This day was nice. Wrapped some gifts. Did some cleaning, todolists for next days, found the dessert for the evening of december 24.
The cat is lying on my arm on my desk as I type this message. Very annoyed that I'm in fact typing something but still staying here.
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That supermassive crush is growing into something else I guess. I don't really know. But fuck I needed something like that. It's beautiful and amazing. The teen in my head is jumping and screaming out loud. Oh my.
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Rehearsal was nice today, I feel we're getting somewhere with all this work and it feels good!
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The evening with loved ones was one of the best Christmas evening I had. Love them.
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I managed to convince my mom to have a vegetarian meal for this family thing tomorrow except for the foie gras (she did it already two days ago).
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I had nice gifts and I get to cry in my sister's arms. Then nieces and mom came to do a group hug.
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I managed to do everything I planned today.
Edit: and very nice gifts again, yaaay!
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So many things to write today I can't choose.
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I guess I can say this is not "just a little crush" anymore.
Feeling very lucky right now. You have no idea.
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I forgot to post yesterday. I don't have much time to think about positive things to write here because... I'm living it I guess?
Let's say the good thing about yesterday was to realize how much better I feel these days.
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Falling in love.
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Is it a day? I don't know.
Cuddling and having long deep talks while the wind is howling outside and don't care about the world should do the trick.
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It was unexpected and beautiful. My head, heart and body are fullfilled with so many good feelings.
I am very lucky and grateful to be around really amazing people right now. I just want to give them all the love that I can give. And thinking, in another weird way: too bad for the ones who left. Your loss I guess.
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Perséphone is back.
I finished a nice book.
I talked with my friend.
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I had a very nice time with my chosen family. Love them.
Perséphone seems to be less stressed and didn't have big panic attacks today.
My next big dream is slowly coming to reality. Can't wait.
I'm looking for words to describe how amazed I am by some people around me. Failing to do so.
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Back to work and stuff. Feels good to feel a bit productive and efficient. That kind of selfcare (yeah I know).
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I thought I did nothing today and felt bad about it but then I tried to remember the things I did and... I actually did a lot of stuff. Not much "work" related stuff and that may be why I feel like shit. I should try to actively remember the things I'm doing because at the end of the day I sometimes feel empty even when it is a busy day. Thank you ADHD I guess.
So: I did some STUFF and that's good.
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Nice talks, swim, food with loved ones but too tired for sentences.
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Once again, @lucie did their magic on someone's hair and to witness the look on their face when they see themselves in the mirror is always an amazing moment.
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Had a great day with good company, we saw mountains, animals, crossed the border by foot, had a lot of talks and saw a fucking beautiful sunset.
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Crêpes, Brooklyn99 and jigsaw puzzle today!
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Deep talks all day long between chores and walks.
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I managed to do some stuff, even if it was a hard day.
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Fill the day with chores and you'll never see it pass. It worked and now I can relax with someone.
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I feel tired but great because I had the chance to dive into someone's incredible eyes for hours.
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I wish this day would never end. So many things. So many.
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Lots of sweet things today: talks, skins, food, music, pictures.
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Loved ones around. Learning stuff together.
Love is everywhere I'm looking at right now.
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It's a bit sad tonight, but today I spent some time with loved ones and made the most of it. Feeling grateful.
Tonight, and for some time now, I feel I'm reaching an important turning point in my life, in a much more optimistic way than in the past few years.
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@lila_bliblu Well done :blob_cat_heart:.
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