tech.lgbt will be defederating from woem.men in two weeks time, on 15 January 2025.
While we have many connections of accounts between servers, we have received multiple credible reports of misconduct from the instance, including grooming and predation.
The scope goes beyond a single admin, and we feel that it is in the best interest of our members to block the entire instance, as opposed to a few individual accounts.
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Followup: We have published a post concerning the upcoming defed from woem.men.
Basically: we've noticed a pattern of behavior, been alerted to specific posts, and have overall determined that the reactions by admins have made us determine that it would be safer for our community to defed.
https://info.tech.lgbt/2025/01/12/defederating-from-woem-men.html
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@mods Uh, does this mean we can't follow anyone from woem.men anymore? Or will individual follows still work?
:neofox_sad:
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@mods
Please publicize the evidence that lead you to this decision, insofar as it's legal to do so, of course. This instance is too large to not be totally transparent about how you make each block/defed decision.
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@mods defederated from my own alters :/
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@mods Are you seriously de-federating with one of the larger transfem instances over mere allegations against some of their admins that don’t even extend to stuff on fedi? All because someone who has personal beef started a campaign?
I guess this might really end up being the point at which I’m going to swap instances if it goes through…
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@mods I'm planning to make a single user instance and leave over this. Please reconsider.
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@mods any updates on this? Lots of people disagree with this decision.
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@mods@tech.lgbt i resonate with this post a lot. even if we ignore all of the allegations, the response was asserting how people should feel in regards to behavior expressed by administrators. Everyone has a right to feel like something impacted them in a different way. My father would use this all the time, telling me backwards apologies such as "I am sorry that you feel that way, I did not intend for you to interpret that in such a manner". It doesn’t help the nonstop harassment of the victims for evidence. The fact we had so many vulnerable people in our community speak out about how they feel, just to get torn to shreds by people going "Well I just don’t see how you could view someone sending a picture with the primary focus being their clothed chest as sexual or uncomfortable" and it brings up a lot of trauma in people otherwise uninvolved because these are textbook abuser techniques. I feel entirely gaslit by them. Instead of taking the time to acknowledge "perhaps I was wrong there" or evaluate themselves they moved right into trying to discredit victims, trying to diminish the reputation of victims and so on.
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@mods@tech.lgbt I felt as though I had a duty to remove such content. I am covered in survivors of sexual abuse, physical abuse and so much more. For them to watch that same sort of gaslighting where victims of abuse were ostracized out of this community for speaking up… it would have been so fucked up. It still is fucked up, there are people I no longer feel safe around who I thought were my friends. It brings up so much of my childhood trauma on top of the fact I was a victim of ashten’s manipulation. There’s so many layers to this and it makes me break down when people go "just some stupid fedi drama" because this was people’s lives. Regardless of intention, people can still hurt others. I felt no reassurance by woem’s response because they failed to take accountability. The first step in improving and changing things. If they had admitted to anything, if they had apologized or shown any willingness to listen it would not have ended like this.
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@puppygirlhornypost2@transfem.social @mods@tech.lgbt
i've had "it's an adult's word against yours" used against me for many things as a child, & it only proves to me that the adults in that situation knew what they were doing, it's no different in this context
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@asbestos_chan@kitsunes.club @mods@tech.lgbt Ashten used her power dynamic as a fediverse administrator, along with things like the sincerity alliance to silence criticism of her because people were scared of retaliation.
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@mods For anyone stumbling upon this, I recommend reading my thread response to someone, where I debunk a lot of the accusations and actually explain what happened, and also sugar's post about the situation, where, other than debunking a certain document, fae correctly identifies what woem.men (and specifically ashten) is going through as exactly what's on The Abuser's Guide to Transmisogyny, specifically the "Slow Burn / Whisper Networks" section.
It's also important to note that, while tech.lgbt mods told woem.men moderation that they were going to talk to them about this defederation, they have refused to do so.
As I also said on a different reply to the mods of tech.lgbt (which was ignored), I have enough evidence to back up all my claims (including over 2GBs of DM exports that are not public).
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@mods I guess it was fun, while it lasted…
If you threaten a major transfem platform with defederation over dubious claims and then double down on it with the justification that they dared to present their side of the story, I don’t feel particularly comfortable here. It’s a bit of a shame, because a lot of my early transition happened here, but I guess it’s time to move on… 😞
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@mods Oh rip i had like 2 followers from there, but i trust your judgement keep up the good work
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