Ancestors

I managed to do my workouts again today after stopping 3 weeks ago. I also lost 5-6kg during this same period, and it's not that good. But I'm trying to see a silver lining here: I may be able to wear my old pants again. And weirdly... I feel better in my body somehow. And still. Feelings.

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Written by _lila* on 2024-12-04 at 22:12

Working out + physiotherapy + 1km in the water. I hope I'll get a good night of sleep after that.

Also I did a lot of work and made plans.

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Written by _lila* on 2024-12-05 at 21:24

Worked a lot today.

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Written by _lila* on 2024-12-07 at 13:23

I had a really great night, we worked on a recorded and filmed rehearsal for a teaser and I hope it'll be nice, but we had so much fun.

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Written by _lila* on 2024-12-07 at 23:02

I managed to do a lot of things today even I had the feeling that everything had been turned upside down.

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Written by _lila* on 2024-12-08 at 22:53

It's been one month. I'm not crying everyday and that's a relief. I chose to set boundaries with some people and I chose to be closer to others. I still feel very lucky to have certain people in my life. I learn a great deal from them. They're like gifts I'm never expecting. And tonight, even if I can still feel this supermassive black hole inside, I feel loved and valued. Well. I may cry after all.

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Written by _lila* on 2024-12-09 at 23:49

I had a nice call with someone I like very much today.

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Written by _lila* on 2024-12-11 at 00:41

I unlocked a success on InDesign so I'm a bit proud.

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Written by _lila* on 2024-12-11 at 23:49

I had (surprise!) extra work when I've been told to call the printshop and manage things directly with them. But I did it anyway and learn stuff I could have known since the beginning, months earlier. Still, now I know what to do and I don't need someone in between to deal with it.

Also: swimming, friends, pizzas, nudes and feelings.

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Written by _lila* on 2024-12-12 at 23:01

Slightly drunk at the queer bingo with one of my best friends and I wish I could be more drunk than that because I've been waiting for it for more than one month. Still. We won some stuff and had a great evening together. Love them so much.

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Written by _lila* on 2024-12-13 at 22:51

Today I finished the first draw of a big project with Echap. Now I need reviews so I'll do another big project because of deadlines. But I think this first one will be a success and I must say I'm a bit proud of it.

I forgot to add that I found some stuff for the winter and played ukulele.

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Written by _lila* on 2024-12-14 at 22:40

Today I cooked something, saw my nibbling, worked a bit on some songs and played ukulele. I also talked a lot with people I like.

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Written by _lila* on 2024-12-15 at 21:26

I did some chores, worked a little bit and managed to get my tickets for this thing I've been dreaming about since I was a child. So it feels more real than ever.

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Written by _lila* on 2024-12-16 at 22:45

I was afraid to collapse because today was his birthday. But I seemed to have managed. I received a nice letter, had nice talks and worked. To be overwhelmed with work is actually a good idea. That and, to feel loved.

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Written by _lila* on 2024-12-17 at 22:10

Today was another day of intensive work, still trying to get everything done before the deadline. Opened the letter, tried to write the beginning of an answer. Went to a cute exhibition of art students. Had a pizza.

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Written by _lila* on 2024-12-18 at 22:32

Work work work but I ate a mango today so it can't be a bad day.

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Written by _lila* on 2024-12-20 at 00:22

Hopefully I reached two very big deadlines today and I can rest a bit (meaning prepare stuff for the end of the year :gribz_down:).

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Written by _lila* on 2024-12-21 at 00:02

I visited the new bookshop in my neighborhood, it's pretty nice.

I read 3 books tonight.

Echap got a second grand for next year (50% less than this year but eh, still something).

These days, work was filling my mind so tonight was a bit harder but I still feel that I can manage and I feel the love around me.

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Written by _lila* on 2024-12-21 at 22:58

This day was nice. Wrapped some gifts. Did some cleaning, todolists for next days, found the dessert for the evening of december 24.

The cat is lying on my arm on my desk as I type this message. Very annoyed that I'm in fact typing something but still staying here.

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Written by _lila* on 2024-12-22 at 20:32

That supermassive crush is growing into something else I guess. I don't really know. But fuck I needed something like that. It's beautiful and amazing. The teen in my head is jumping and screaming out loud. Oh my.

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Written by _lila* on 2024-12-23 at 21:22

Rehearsal was nice today, I feel we're getting somewhere with all this work and it feels good!

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Written by _lila* on 2024-12-25 at 21:02

The evening with loved ones was one of the best Christmas evening I had. Love them.

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Written by _lila* on 2024-12-25 at 21:13

I managed to convince my mom to have a vegetarian meal for this family thing tomorrow except for the foie gras (she did it already two days ago).

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Written by _lila* on 2024-12-26 at 21:34

I had nice gifts and I get to cry in my sister's arms. Then nieces and mom came to do a group hug.

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Written by _lila* on 2024-12-27 at 22:06

I managed to do everything I planned today.

Edit: and very nice gifts again, yaaay!

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Toot

Written by Sylvhem on 2024-12-27 at 23:07

@lila_bliblu Well done!

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