Ancestors

Written by Fish Id Wardrobe on 2024-10-26 at 09:41

In some ways I "get" transphobia. Not the hate, but the fact that they are clearly scared and confused.

A lot of it is "my personal understanding of the world is the only correct one", and I don't have sympathy for that, either.

But. We learn about what "boys" and "girls" are at such a young age. The lessons we learn first are the hardest, most painful to unpick.

And hardest of all is to take all the memories of Mary and stamp over them "no, that was Mark the whole time".

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Toot

Written by Fish Id Wardrobe on 2024-10-26 at 09:51

I have personal experience of this. (Mark is not his real name, and doubly so Mary, of course.)

I have a lot of memories of Mary. I don't begrudge him holding onto his secret, even though we were very close. I don't have any trouble calling him Mark, now.

But those memories – thinking of when 'she' and I were as thick as thieves – and then feeling each time "no, that was really Mark, a man"?

That's fucking hard.

I'm not, personally, scared or confused or angry. But I can see it.

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Descendants

Written by Fish Id Wardrobe on 2024-10-26 at 10:07

(For the record, since the internet is a device that destroys nuance: Mark is so much happier since they stopped playing the part of Mary. That's what I wanted for him – to be happy – and it worked out. I'm delighted for him.)

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