Ancestors

Written by Technology Connections on 2024-08-20 at 16:49

Look, I'm gonna lay this out on the line:

This place is fucking shit for my mental health.

It's that simple!

And it is not helped that any time I voice this, I get replies which one way or another make it clear it's my problem to solve.

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Written by Technology Connections on 2024-08-20 at 16:52

I don't like being a whiny person, so largely I'm not. I recognize I've won life's lottery in lots of ways and have privileges many, MANY people don't.

But I am still a person.

And while I'm grateful for all the supportive replies I get here, there's sincerely about a 1:1 ratio between those and replies which push me away.

It is simply not fun for me to be here. And I'm damn sure that's not my problem.

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Written by ben on 2024-08-20 at 17:03

@TechConnectify You're currently whining about and setting your followers on a person who simply replied to a direct request to watch a Youtube video with their reasons why they won't. They didn't tag you (in fact, if their client works like most, they specifically made an effort not to tag you) and involve you in the conversation.

There are issues with mental health and social media, and perhaps they are not helped by Mastodon's design or community. But "not my problem"? I wouldn't be so sure.

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Toot

Written by Technology Connections on 2024-08-20 at 17:06

@sqrt2 Hey!

So, firstly, no they were not asked. Someone simply provided the link, and even qualified it with "if you're into that sort of thing" or something along those lines.

But second... I mean do you really think I'm framing my entire experience on this one single post?

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Descendants

Written by robryk@qoto.org on 2024-08-20 at 17:12

@TechConnectify @sqrt2

I think that sqrt2's complaint is different: the author of that comment is now getting ~your experience, albeit nearly only on a single comment of theirs.

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Written by ben on 2024-08-20 at 17:14

@TechConnectify If you feel you need to nitpick whether "It's your lucky day: link to video" in a discussion is a request or merely a strong suggestion to watch that video, I am going to suggest to you that you place the internet device to the side and do something else for the rest of the day.

And no, I don't think you base your framing on a single post. I think you're at this point in a state of mind where you're making things worse for yourself (and in this case, also others).

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Written by Technology Connections on 2024-08-20 at 17:17

@sqrt2 I think "a direct request" which in fact was not is not a simple nitpick, ben.

I have only a mild flavor of fame, but if you can put yourself in my shoes - shoes where you know many people have thoughts about your work which are probably unkind - you might want spaces where you aren't forced to see those thoughts.

And before you nitpick on the whole tagging thing - it went from a "here's a nice mention, let's click through" to "oh christ" real quick.

And I don't like it!

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Written by Technology Connections on 2024-08-20 at 17:20

@sqrt2 I will, as a matter of fact, stop coming here so much.

I mean, I have! I hardly post here anymore. And I'm telling you plainly the reasons why.

And I feel constantly gaslit when I'm here. You are currently contributing to that. I feel the way I do, I've identified why, and I've also made clear some of the things I think need to change.

If the response is "no, you're just doing it wrong" - then I'm gonna GTFO

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Written by ben on 2024-08-20 at 17:26

@TechConnectify Yes, that's a good idea, actually.

You've replied to me with the, frankly nonsensical, notion that, in the context of the mental health effects of social media, in a discussion between two people that doesn't involve you, it is important what some other person said in reply to what else, but insubstantial that they made an effort not to involve you in that conversation.

If you think the platform should have made sure you can't see it and it didn't, don't use it.

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Written by Technology Connections on 2024-08-20 at 17:27

@sqrt2 that's a whole lotta word salad to say "toughen up"

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Written by Technology Connections on 2024-08-20 at 17:32

@sqrt2 I mean really, you just don't get it.

That's ok, but rather than insist that I wear the shoes you wear and process the world as you do, maybe it would be worth considering that other people are other people.

It is not so easy for me to let this stuff roll off my back, and it's well more than just the one person I end up seeing.

But whatever, it's been clear from the start that you'd rather invalidate my feelings than believe there might be systemic problems with this platform.

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Written by ben on 2024-08-20 at 17:35

@TechConnectify I don't think you need to toughen up or say your feelings are wrong.

I happen to think that what you want of the platform would require changes that range somewhere between "really hard" and "contravening the entire idea of the architecture".

I also think you're making it worse for yourself, but it's entirely possible that the baseline is already bad enough. And if that's the case, don't use the platform.

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Written by Xilabar the Dice Goblin on 2024-08-20 at 20:12

@TechConnectify I am sorry to see you go. I do like reading your posts.

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