Here's a thought I'm working on. It's said that #ActuallyAutistic people are slow to recognise their emotions, and that's kind of true for me. It's certainly true about my base state. Am I a happy person? A cheerful person? Sad? No idea.
Jump sideways: It was said of the late Terry Pratchett that he was continually angry at the state of the world. It was said to be surprising, I think, but by a friend who knew him well. Now, I met pTerry, and a more gentle, sweet man you could not imagine.
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Could he really have been continually angry? I never heard of him raising his voice or being mean to anyone. But I suppose emotions come in many forms. He was certainly aware of the injustice around him; it's right there in his writing.
Jump sideways: a lot of the music that really strikes a chord with me I would characterise as "angry". Not shouty, but still angry. "Look, this is all screwed up" music.
... could it be that I am angry??
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Is this angry music? It's certainly not happy, is it? "Rape, murder..."
The Rolling Stones - Gimme Shelter (Official Lyric Video) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbmS3tQJ7Os&t=151
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coda: it occurs to me that I might be trying to nail an emotion that has no simple name. AGAIN.
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