also this is the no solid food past this mark moment, so now I get to start drinking water but also fairly unpleasant-to-me Ensure clear and then in the moment Ensure pre-surgery which I'm sure is going to be every bit as unpleasant to me, as all of these are simultaneously too sweet and also there's what the too sweet is trying to hide, which is whatever amount of aftertaste.
fruit flavours are not eminently drinkable for me since I've stopped living on juice in the past two years.
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SEVEN HOURS.
(until the check-in, at least, which is what I've been counting down to this whole entire time.)
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y'all can we possibly PLEASE, URGENT, get some #MutualAid #MutualAidRequest #MutualAidNeeded #Crowdfund #TransCrowdfund #TopSurgeryFund #HelpFolksLive #HelpFolksLive2025 #MastodonForHarris #Mastodon4Harris donations movement, TODAY?
due to my eating disorder there's very little of the hospital food I can eat and I'm going to be reliant on DoorDash etc and friends and family bringing me outside food.
we've had almost no donations to this end, as most of the incentive has been to pay credit cards, but we need some money here too.
my top surgery is TOMORROW MORNING and I wish I got to simply be excited instead of panicking as to how am I going to afford to get adequate food while in the hospital (which will be for several days), and trying to decide if I'm going to pull from our dwindling reserve (which has to cover a lot else) anything and everything helps.
CashApp: $ ceahhettan
Venmo: @ californiummm
ask for PayPal/Zelle.
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ONE DAY!
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apropos nothing, I came across this in my history of posts on another social media site as I cleaned up there earlier today so, with minor editing and at a terrible time of night if I want people to see it.
if you're so confused as to how the oppressed can become the oppressor, I'd invite you to look back to two things.
fear, and power. that's it.
likewise if you're upset and up in arms about a historically exiled, diasporic, displaced people being called colonisers, accurately no less… then I'd invite you to take a good hard look at what happens when your political and propaganda machines borrow and use the language of hegemony and imperialism, and how that shapes the events that follow.
in the words of Audré Lorde, the master's tools will never dismantle the master's house.
look real fucking hard at who has the power in these scenarios. then think about how just a few words make you that uncomfortable, and put yourself in the shoes of the actual victims and casualties of this.
and then look again. and again. and again and again. until you see that hospitals, schools, and universities are not destroyed for reasons other than to batter down at people's basic needs and agency.
and if you still don't get it? congratulations you're the genocidal racist coloniser I'm talking about. (and go fuck yourself and show yourself the door.)
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like I get the fire shit is terrible. the loss of structures is terrible.
but the only thing in my mind is hoping that it doesn't affect the hospital where I'm having my top surgery at the end of the month.
I have waited so long for this, since I first got the letters required for top surgery in April 2023. I finally had a consultation with a top surgeon in July 2023. I had multiple tentative and cancelled surgery dates in 2024.
I just want it to finally be happening.
I don't know how the fuck I can endure another cancelation. the amount of dysphoria I have been dealing with especially in the latter half of 2024 has been utterly disabling on top of my usual disability.
I have a hard time holding on to the large scale of what's happening.
I am keeping track of the small scale. people we know, where the northern edge of the Palisades fire evacuations are. when do we have to load up the car with the mobility aids and pack a bag, considering our disabilities make sure that there's no way we could do so quickly.
where the fuck would we even go.
these are the concrete things in my mind.
worst of all, any worse ing of my mental health can put me so that I am no longer stable enough on the list for top surgery, which is ironic because it's the delays themselves that have been the greatest stressors on me.
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hi everyone! we have a new #MutualAid #MutualAidNeeded #MutualAidRequest #MastodonForHarris #Mastodon4Harris #HelpFolksLive #HelpFolksLive2025.
we just replaced @inoru_no_hoshi's power wheelchair with a new one that'll be here Saturday, for the fun sum of $1093.95 on a credit card, with monthly payments of just under $100.
y'all, we bought this on faith and a prayer (and a reserve that will help but can't wholly cover the payments and help us not be crushed by poverty at the same time) because their old power wheelchair is unsafe now. it can't be driven across a curb cut without them ending up in the street, much more severely than my chair does. the motors struggle a good bit of the time.
part of them having independence is the power wheelchair, so I'm asking to help us with the price of agency and independence as disabled individuals. as y'all probably know, we're both disabled and neither of us work, and we mostly survive off of the good will and kindness of our close friends and random strangers.
February bill: $0/100; anything over goal will be paid to the credit card above and beyond the required payment to help pay it off sooner than the 12 months.
put wheelchair in the comments.
CashApp: $ ceahhettan (will say a bunch of muppets)
Venmo: @ californiummm (will say dror lieb, my Hebrew name)
ask for PayPal/Zelle.
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[#]MutualAid #MutualAidRequest #HelpFolksLive #HelpFolksLive2025 #MastodonForHarris #Mastodon4Harris #TransCrowdfund #Crowdfund #TopSurgery #TopSurgeryCrowdfund #DisabledCrowdfund #Mazeldon do direct tzedakah, et cetera.
tonight's update:
as well as the very generous gift by the anonymous person who gave me the pens, a friend of mine was able to toss us $100, and we need to be ramping up to top surgery whereas that has to go to immediate needs; we're buying home pedicure ish stuff supplies because it's literally a health matter and if I want to avoid going to the podiatrist, which is much more like torture, I need to do a better job at taking care of my feet. we're buying cat food, as always, cat litter, as always. etc etc.
so we have a goal of $1000 or more set aside for my top surgery fund, to fund food while I'm in the hospital (delivery because my spouse also doesn't drive) because I cannot eat much of the hospital foods; to fund new items of clothing because I don't have much that opens in the front that I'll be able to wear in the time that it takes to get back to being able to lift my arms above my head enough.
we have a tonne of needs and if I explained everything that giving to us goes to I would be here all day and you'd get disinterested from reading, but to stay afloat through January and February we'll need another $500, not taken out of the RV sale funds, which are all earmarked to pay debts and big expenses that we can't crowdfund on here.
so let's talk about #NewYearsEve #NYE #NewYear instead. all that we want for some sort of new year resolution stuff is to be able to have somefinancial stability, and y'all's generosity is the only way we're going to get there.
please help if you can. one, two, five dollars helps just as much as bigger donations if not more, and share if you can't, we love people who get it shared too. link to this post or better yet copy our payment info and write your own post about who I am online and what we need.
top surgery fund (comment 'top surgery') $0/$1000
general $100/$600
CashApp: $ ceahhettan (will say a bunch of muppets)
Venmo: @ californiummm (will say dror lieb, my Hebrew name)
ask for PayPal/Zelle.
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I get to go down to the rehab I volunteer at today, #SoberAsFuck, and my mother is driving us to Shabbat Saturday morning services tomorrow, which I very much appreciate, and the combination of which make me happy.
next week is the last week I'll be able to be down there before my top surgery, because I also have more medical stuff or spouse's medical stuff the other weeks, so I won't have time/ability to go down there. but might also get to go to Saturday another time within the next coming three weeks.
and anyway, I really miss when my weeks don't involve going down there at least some. it's one of my communities, and it's also a community for my sobriety; I truly do get as much out of helping to facilitate a group as I do out of participating in a group, although in slightly different ways. either way, you learn things and get to hear the experience of fellows, and when it comes down to it, everyone has the same twenty-four hours.
and I'm so glad that my participation was able to continue no questions asked after my internship has been over and for this current semester, although when I am doing the addiction studies program at the local community college, I will probably look into seeing about if any of my hours for whatever parts are necessary can be spent at this particular rehab, as well.
even though that feels a little bit like cheating because it's not making me experience a new and different place. (and I don't know what my treatment center's policies are about working there, I don't know if you can work there while still in aftercare services and receiving medication assisted treatment there. it's a question that I'm sure will come up some time this fall, but there's no sense in fretting about it sooner than that.)
anyway, between going down there and hopefully selling my RV today (or showing it? I hope the guy is coming prepared to buy but I will understand if he comes and then has to go get the cash, or something like that), today is going to be a good day.
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gotta love when everyone is talking about someone's mistakes, including said someone, but nowhere in it can you find the actual mistake made. go go meta.
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I want to bring attention to this that @woof wrote, and the phenomenal amount of work that assembling this, meticulously documented with a list of receipts that goes on, and on, and on. queer fedi is very, very lucky to have someone who cares to put in this work, especially because doing so is effectively putting a target on your head when AK-47 Boy and his merry band of sycophants turn their attention on you.
you need to read this.
https://aria.dog/barks/ethics-in-transgenderism
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hey #FediMeta #LosAngeles #SoCal, anyone interested in a 24' Ford Tioga? I can't afford to keep my RV and must, MUST sell and get it out of my name before the insurance renews on January 11th, as I no longer have a driver's license due to a resurgence of a seizure disorder. my loss is your gain and other such cheesy slogans go here.
as a bonus, everyone now knows my married somewhat real name, so let's distract from the meta. (I kid, the most recent meta is important but, am gonna piggyback on it to get views? absolutely. and doxx myself in service of selling. not that I was hiding it.)
selling the #RV is more important, and back to our #MutualAid plea. the sale of the RV is the funding we're going to live on for much of 2025.
please boost this and send it to anyone you know who might be interested. https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/1299630844791321/?mibextid=dXMIcH
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we also have an #AmazonWishlist for #MutualAid that has been updated, had priorities and explanations added to various items, and contains anything from little fun things we could use to significant and major needs. please help if you can.
#Crowdfund #Crowdfunding #HelpFolksLive #HelpFolksLive2024 #MutualAidRequest #MastodonForHarris #Mastodon4Harris #ChristmasSpirit #Holiday #DirectGiving
thank you everyone!
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/18KTT0ZMUTSWD?ref_=wl_share
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more #MutualAid #MutualAidRequest #MutualAid #MutualAidRequest #HelpFolksLive #HelpFolksLive2024 #DisabledCrowdfund #TransCrowdfund #MastodonForHarris #Mastodon4Harris #Mazeldon #Jwitter #Tzedakah #Crowdfund #Crowdfunding #TopSurgeryCrowdfund #DeafCrowdfund #ChristmasSpirit #DirectGiving
hi, reiterating our constant ask. which I hate doing but things haven't got personally better for us right now.
I'm the main breadwinner for my spouse and I and there has been no bread to win. I haven't had a single gig this month or last, and we have bills racking up and coming due.
all we want for #Chanukah or #Christmas or insert winter holiday of your choice is financial stability, and y'all's generosity is the only way we're going to get there.
please help if you can. one, two, five dollars helps just as much as bigger donations if not more.
CashApp: $ ceahhettan (will say a bunch of muppets)
Venmo: @ californiummm (will say dror lieb, my Hebrew name)
ask for PayPal/Zelle .
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where the fuck is #FediHire #GetFediHired for those of us who don't have the skillsets for 50k+/year salaries? those of us who are trying to struggle our way up and out of minimum wage jobs. those of us who are available for gig work, writing, edting, whatever, but don't currently have a formal affiliation?
because until then it's just another classist tool in the classist toolchest.
as for myself, I am a decent copywriter, copy editor, proofreader, often-times fact checker. I'm capable at data entry, file cataloguing, the tedious stuff that no one wants to do that keeps things from breaking down further on down the line.
I won't write things for people that violates academic integrity, but pretty much anything short of that is fair game. I can tutor in English, English literature, creative writing, Jewish studies and religious studies and pretty much the rest of the humanities as well.
but right now I just need something. I need a couple hours a week so I can pull in a hundred or two hundred per week so we don't fucking drown. where's that?
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this is your regularly unscheduled reminder that #ABA for #Autistic kids is basically torture. dog-training has outgrown these methods but a so-called critical treatment for autistic kids hasn't. don't support it, don't think you know better than survivors.
and yes, so-called newer ABA is better, in some ways, but it's not actually better. ABA forces kids to suppress their autistic behaviours in order to fit neurotypical molds, with a reward/punishment model and often without access to expressive language.
ABA was common in the 1990s, including in fields such as speech therapy which weren't officially ABA.
talk to #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic people instead of believing the pretty whining of 'autism parents' or parents that make their kids' diagnoses their full-on personality.
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just spent almost an hour in various sorting out our transportation for the week, not counting that on Monday we will have to make the Access Paratransit reservations for Tuesday on our phones. thankfully we've both been where we are going before so that we don't have to make a phone call about it.
getting places while very poor and not really able to use public transportation for
most trips is a fucking bitch and a half.
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oh one more thing about the whole #Thanksgiving thing. popular culture has it steeped in #ToxicPositivity.
for more information on what toxic positivity is, I direct you here: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-toxic-positivity-5093958
there are situations in which gratitude is bullshit. it's just like telling someone as an answer to their problems, "it could always be worse", it's utter fucking bullshit. if I'm living in an abusive situation, it's awful shitty of people to tell me to be grateful for the roof over my head.
I shouldn't have to do performative gratitude. it's demanded of me every day when my parents do the slightest little things for us, or when they say it's for us and it's actually for them. when my tone of voice goes off from what they expect, my father slams doors and yells about the house and threatens to kick us out. (yes, he has anger issues; when anger management classes are suggested he yells and slams doors some more; it entirely makes my point, and it does absolutely nothing to fix the situation.)
early on in my sobriety someone told me to do gratitude lists. but even when I was doing them every day, it was much more of fake it 'til you make it and it never got to the point where I didn't have to fake it anymore.
so anyway, Thanksgiving is bullshit, thank you for coming to my TED talk.
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alright hey hi it's time for another #MutualAid #MutualAidRequest.
first and foremost we have an Amazon wishlist. I've gone through and edited things, things with the highest priority are things we absolutely need and it would be great if they were gotten.
some of the things in here are currently on sale. if you don't want to give money, getting things off our wish list is a great way to help us out.
#HelpFolksLive #HelpFolksLive2024 #DisabledCrowdfund #TransCrowdfund post for #MastodonForHarris #Mastodon4Harris #Mazeldon #Jwitter #Tzedakah here's our #AmazonWishlist if folks can help like that. it's not organized yet, so anything you get us will be greatly appreciated.
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/18KTT0ZMUTSWD?ref_=wl_share
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I HAVE A TOP SURGERY DATE!
I GET TO HAVE TOP SURGERY (AND MY HYSTERECTOMY CONCURRENTLY) JANUARY 31, FOR REALS THIS TIME.
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