EDIT: Goal already met because I have the best goddamned friends in the Fediverse. 🫶
My cough is getting worse and unproductive, and my partner is starting to come down with it as well.
Now neither of us are in adequate condition to get us moved out of our room in a matter of hours yet again later this morning. I finished the last of our cold medicine tonight. We fed the puppy the last of his food a few hours ago.
I know things are really bad.. everywhere.
I know we've leeched more than our fair share from too many here for too long.
We've taken resources that could've gone to others less fortunate.
We've cluttered your timeline with begposts while failing to follow through on all the recommendations and advice.
Still I come to you once again, pan in hand, pleading for yet more help.
I have something I've been working on - the most colossal Hail Mary (or whatever is the appropriate sportsball term) of my life, perhaps the very last hope I have - destined to likely never come to full fruition, to be a prematurely aborted disaster like most every other major endeavor I've attempted during my mediocre existence.
But I need to get rested and healed first. I need a few days of consistent nutrition and not panicking over the damned motel bill every single day. I need to be able to help my partner as he starts to endure this hellish flu or cold.
If (and likely when) I fail to make the aforementioned project materialize, I'm not sure I'll have much fight left in me. I feel like we're approaching sink or swim time, and I'm no good at swimming so if this doesn't work.. let's just say I've got no "Plan B". None.
Anyway, for the likely handful of you remaining that haven't already put me on permanent mute for my antics: I truly and sincerely wish I wasn't still tying up solidarity resources. I wish so much that I could help others. Nevertheless I don't know what else to do right now besides give up.
Evidently I'm not strong enough to be an adult. Something's got to give.
My family needs your help. Again. Please help us get through the next few days here in our motel room, our little place of refuge, while we recuperate and work on our most ambitious attempt at grand failure that we've ever undertaken. Please help us feed our border collie a little longer and put a few things in the fridge.
My dear fellow fedizens, please forgive my constant clamoring for assistance. It is my fervent wish that we could stop doing so. I'm sorry.
If you're willing and able:
https://account.venmo.com/u/thegizmotwins
https://cash.app/$thegizmotwins
https://gofund.me/12171be3
Paypal: penguinpower8182@gmail.com
[#]MutualAidRequest #MutualAid #MentalIllness #PTSD #Poverty #SolidarityAndResistance #DisposablePeople
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We're about to be homeless.. again.
I am so goddamned tired of typing those words.
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to be clear I'm saying that complaining is far and away my strongest, most effective talent
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Everyone has some sort of hidden talent - a superpower, if you will. It doesn't always pay off monetarily, but if it does then you're golden.
I just need to figure out how to monetize general bitching, moaning and whining and I'll be filthy rich
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Whelp.. I give up. I've got nothing left.
I called out. I think I may actually have enough sick leave to cover today, but I can't do a pay advance on it like I can with regular wages so it wouldn't help me for a couple of weeks.
Goddammit.
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Oof. That was an unusual amount of chest congestion I just hacked up
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
i don't feel good
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I just.. I can't do it. Not today. I'm so exhausted.
I'm failing at life.
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And because my clumsy ass knocked over the bottle of cough medicine, I have one dose left. Fuck.
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Fml.. this is awful.. but if I call in sick we're homeless.. if I try to work I'm just going to get worse. Fuck whatever this is
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It's the 21st century. I feel like Representative Democracy would be a lot more engaging if constituents could log into an app (or go to permanent polling locations) and by plurality override their representatives' floor votes.
I know, I know.. no matter how secure you try to make it, some sociopathic asshole would circumvent it for personal gain. There always has to be some asshole spoiling it for everyone.
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I'm slowly learning that adulthood is just accepting that almost any food now makes one feel gassy and/or bloated
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My mutuals bring all the milkshakes to the yard,
And they're like, they're better than yours (Tillamook Mudslide),
Damn right, it's better than yours (Plain Vanilla),
I need Lactaid, or I'll have to fart
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Something I find curious is, often when my partner and I are fundraising for mutual aid and we receive a modest donation (usually less than $20) it typically includes an apology for it not being more.
Friends, please understand that we are just as grateful for a $5 gift as we are for the ones ten times that amount. Wanna know why? Because relatively speaking, those small donations are most likely a significantly greater portion of the donor's resources. If you've only got $10 in the bank and you donate $5 to us (please, PLEASE don't if that's the case), you're giving us literally half of your net worth in one shot.
That isn't to say we aren't also insanely grateful for the larger contributions - those have somehow magically kept us in this motel for more than two months now. I also know that sending us $100 when you only have $110 (again, please don't do this.. we don't want others suffering just to keep us alive) is still just as staggering.
EVERYTHING you do in relation to mine or others' begposts is helpful. Boosts matter. Favs matter to our self-esteem. Ditto comments. Donations matter to our physical survival but the community here that my little family of misfits has been privileged to be a part of, is immensely vital to our overall well-being.
Thank you each and every one involved. We literally only have a safe place to sleep because of you. I can only continue to hope that someday I might get my shit together enough to begin paying it forward. We have a very, very tall bill in that department.
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UPDATE: We're only $5 away from being able to make tomorrow's motel room payment! (see new update in CW)
Sorry, I feel like garbage and my self-snark levels seem to have adjusted accordingly. I am so incredibly weary of having to do this. Please forgive me once again but it's time for me to plead for #MutualAid help again thanks to my #MentalIllness impeding every step of our progress towards stability.
We have almost enough to cover tomorrow night's motel stay. We only need ~$15 to clear the payment. Unfortunately we're also completely out of food and right now I'm feeling way too shitty already to start dealing with being hangry on top of it.
If anyone is willing and able to pitch in to cover what's left to make the room payment that will keep us sheltered I would deeply appreciate it; or if like us you're also struggling to survive, please remember every boost is just as vital as a monetary contribution.
https://account.venmo.com/u/thegizmotwins
https://cash.app/$thegizmotwins
We also still have an ongoing fundraiser if anyone is more comfortable with that method, but keep in mind funds are not immediately available:
https://gofund.me/45ee77bc
Thank you everyone for keeping my family safe since I'm seemingly incapable of doing so on my own.
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oww fuck the flu or cold or covid or bubonic plague or whatever the hell i have rn
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honorable mention: mmmbop
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Choose from the following:
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Just found out that pineapples are just apples grown from pine trees. Crazy!
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Morning everyone.. it's been a tumultuous few days fr us. Friday morning had us scrambling to move everything out of the motel because we couldn't make that day's payment. I foolishly forgot that if we stayed more than two months here, the rate would drop substantially. Two months was.. Friday morning.
After we left - our car crammed so full of our immediate belongings that our border collie couldn't lay down - and headed to our storage unit to drop things off, I started to unravel. I was so filled with rage at myself for letting this happen that I couldn't stop giggling; it became a hysterical, involuntary cackling. It was quite unsettling. I almost had my partner take me to the ER because I felt so out of control.
We were literally within hours of nearly halving the rate from what we were paying initially, but I failed to realize it because I honestly didn't expect us to make it this long before we were out on the streets. All of that evaporated instantly once we checked out, and we now start at the beginning again.
Soon after I had no choice but to go to work while my partner and our puppy sat outside in the cold car. I was struggling to maintain any sense of composure because I just could. not. stop. internally screaming at how close we'd gotten and I still managed to fuck it up. How did I forget about all of this? How did I let us end up homeless again??
A couple of hours later, one of my partner's online friends donated enough to us for several nights' stay here and we've been housed since then. The only room they had available at that moment was handicap-accessible and so yesterday morning we had to scramble once again to pack up everything and move in less than 24 hours.
At least this time it was same-building. My partner had to do 95% of the work to accomplish all this the past few days between my mini-breakdown and me coming down with.. something. Cold, flu, covid, I'm not sure. All I know is I feel like crap and can't call in because money. Yay capitalism.
Of course, this week marks the beginning of reduced hours because of the standard retail holiday shopping season winding down. So our rate is now the same as in the beginning but I have even less money come in now.
My job isn't really that bad in moderation; 20-25 hours is tolerable, but 35-40 hours is enough to emotionally and physically deplete me to an extremely inconvenient degree. The problem is we can't survive on my wages even at 40+ hours a week, let alone having them slashed in half.
I am so goddamned tired of all of this. I am so damned tired of begging. I am so tired of leeching and putting all of our personal goodwill at risk. I'm so tired of opening an empty fridge. I'm so tired of listening to our poor dog whine because we're rationing his food and his impatient ass can't tolerate it. I'm so tired of never going anywhere or doing anything because we're too broke, too tired, too depressed, too triggered or some combination of the three.
I've always been a clown since I was a small child because I was so desperate for attention that any attention was better than nothing even if it was negative and I tried my best to suffocate that part of me for years to become socially acceptable. I'm no good at anything else. I'm too hard-headed to be a drone and too awkward and emotional to be in charge of anything critical.
I want to entertain people. I want my shitposts to make someone smile when they're feeling just like I'm feeling right now. I want to be the one to give someone a few minutes' reprieve from the apocalyptic hell that is the current state of our planet.
Maybe my aspirations aren't monetarily worthy of others' time and attention, but my god I think this world could use all the light-heartedness and laughter and love that we can get. I guess I'll just try to keep entertaining in my spare time until I die a premature death due to self-inflicted neglect and excessive wear from work, trying to outrun entitled Karens desperately demanding clearance prices on items very clearly not on clearance.
At this point I'm not sure where I was going with all of this but suffice to say, I'm exhausted, I feel like shit, I'm tired of being poor, and I'm enraged that this is still happening to anyone now that we're 1/4th of the way through the 21st century.
That's the news from Lake Wobegon.
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