Toots for maxthyme@mastodon.social account

Written by Max™ on 2024-11-06 at 07:21

Fuck you too, America, fuck you too.

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Written by Max™ on 2024-10-29 at 13:08

I know it wouldn't do anything to undo the damage he did, but thirty minutes alone with McConnell to really fuck up the skin on my knuckles would be very cathartic.

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Written by Max™ on 2024-08-23 at 10:44

RFK jr: just celebrated the birthday of my cat

Interviewer: oh that's nice, how'd you celebrate it?

RFK jr: I made fish tacos

Interviewer: ah, and you ate them with your cat?

RFK jr: no, he's been dead for two years

Interviewer: ok so-

RFK jr: I snuck into a taco bell and put them in someone else's bag

Interviewer: what

RFK jr: yeah, I like to share the celebration with others

Interviewer: did- did you tell them?

RFK jr: nah, that would ruin the surprise!

[#]Weird #USPolitics

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Written by Max™ on 2024-08-22 at 04:50

I'm gonna get on record saying I bet they are going to surprise everyone by having Taylor Swift show up at the #DNC2024 tomorrow.

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Written by Max™ on 2024-08-15 at 23:58

So I'm in Memphis and have been for like 21 years so I am obligated to have something to say about BBQ.

Corky's is so goddamn good you would rather not floss or brush because you don't want to get rid of that deliciousness.

Corky's is so good I forget to freak out about sticky stuff on my hands and mouth until well after I finish.

Corky's is so good if it had a bite taken out when I unwrapped it, I'd probably still finish the rest.

[#]BBQ #Corkys #Memphis

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Written by Max™ on 2024-08-09 at 19:42

Note this is only parody in the sense that I don't know for sure if don jr eats crayons or thinks vance is his dad, the rest is probably exactly as it happened, these are not clever men.

[#]WeirdGOP #TheBestPeople #HarrisWalz2024

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Written by Max™ on 2024-08-09 at 19:25

• inside the trump camp*

vance: ok people walz is eating us alive with this weird shit, don jr stop eating those crayons!

don jr: thorry dad

vance: dammit I'm not your fucking dad I just work for him kinda, now what do you got that isn't weird?

don jr: ooh say he drinks horse jizz!

vance:

don jr:

vance: goddammit that's brilliant

[#]WeirdGOP

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