I thought I was out of earshot.

I thought people could not hear me.

But my toot, it was just so loud,

and dear God I got caught!

They heard me toot in the other room

the President thought shots had been fired.

They heard me toot in the other room

the Secret Service were spilling hot coffee!

I thought I would be in for a shock,

perhaps a very severe shock!

I just wanted to see the White House,

but then I had to toot.

I found myself in a big knot of people,

I could not quite escape.

And I held my toot, oh, so tightly,

until I toot-toot tooted away.

The big knot of people

squirted around me running far away.

I thought I could get out of ear shot

but I had not gone far enough.

They were all in severe shock.

And I tooted. I tooted once again.

I was in the souvinere shop

and I tooted near my friend!

I could not help it!

It followed me around.

The stink, it was expelling

all around the town.

And you know!

Sometimes it's just the way it happens.

And you know!

There's nothing else to say.