The last time I was clean shaven

I had this crazy dream.

I dreamed that a ghost beard

came to me.

That beard was fuzzy.

That beard was cute.

And it crawled, creeping all on me.

What do you do when you're visited by a beard?

What do you do when you're visited by a ghost?

And what, oh what could I do that day

when I was visited by a ghost beard.

That ghost beard crawled on me.

Scritchity, scratchity at my feet.

Demanding I wake up and

see it with my waking eyes.

I did not know what it desired!

I did not know how it could fly!

And yet it hung there in the sky.

Making me look at it.

Look at it until I cried.

What do I do when I'm visited by a ghost?

What do I do when I'm visited by a beard?

What do I do when I'm visited by a ghost beard?

What do I do? Who can I call?

Now you know I do not shave my face.

I don't shave my arms or my legs.

In fact that razor would be a big disgrace.

So it touches me nowhere.

Now when I dream of that lovely, ghostly beard

it sings to me happy beardy songs!

It praises me for my hairy body.

It sings to me until my dream is done.