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Becoming Nothing

In my 38th year I was shattered to find out that the people whose identities I had assumed up to that point were shaped primarily by my own trauma responses, in addition to marketing and active measures campaigns, the latter two being indistinguishable from each other.

Marketing and propaganda are dark magic: primal mammalian fears and base desires are exploited for financial/political gain, and authoritarians love all of it. As a child I could not see that grownups were lying through their teeth at all times, and still even now it confounds me.

Every day for all of my life, I spontaneously leave my body. This has made it challenging to form organized connections to others.

=> Whom do you become when everyone you have known yourself to be has merely been a product of all the things that other people want to take from you?