2023-10-15

I always look forward to Looptober, and I never participate as much as I would like.

I know it's unhealthy to beat myself up about it- but it's also worth examining the friction there is in me just giving in to doing something that I know that I will like. Brains are terrible things.

Looptober in 2020 (the first year I did it) was such a great experience -- in part because I was already in a musical mood, and I had my gear set up right by my "work" desk -- making it easy to just turn around at the end of the day and noodle on a synth patch and record something.

But the other part, and something I think about a lot, is because of lockdowns. I simply didn't have that much to do, and I wasn't getting as distracted by new things as I usually would. I have no wish for the world to go back to that, but I think 2020 has left me with this gap where stillness should be.

Even without paying work to distract me, my days are full (often of things that I like!) and the time for hobbies which have less immediate satisfaction (reading, music, painting) gets squeezed out for my quick wins (cycling, electronics, watching video).