2023-09-27

Hello from continued non-work. I am updating my ~ from a park bench in the city. Trying to figure out what it means to be a man of leisure.

I accepted a part time job and had to back out of it. I am substantially more burned out from my years of working in tech than I first thought. I thought that being excited about some work again was enough, but it's not. I panicked at the idea of people relying on me and was instantly overwhelmed.

Also; since I "journaled" the process of leaving work by recording it into a dictaphone and later transcribing it and pasting it in -- I have broken myself of the otherwise good and consistent habit of journalling the good and bad feelings I'm having. Which sucks! Because this last month has had a whole bunch of things to feel and I wish I'd turned to that tool to help me figure things out and get them out of my head.

At least there's always tilde.town.

Now that I no longer work at $JOB I can place things into categories of "within my time at Shopify" and "bracketing my time at Shopify". For example; colleagues I interviewed, worked with, and then who left -- that was all within the time: people coming and going while I stayed still. But tilde.town is one of those outside things: town helped me get that job, and now I'm still here even though I am no longer working there.

I wrote before about how my experience of Canada is entirely mixed up with my experience of working there, but now I get to figure out what being in Canada is when it's not for work.