People drift apart, then then drift close again, just to repeat this. Sometimes we're stuck in a certain place, unable to drift. We change. Individually. At our own pace. Our partners and friends may like it or not. That's how it is. To please others we sometimes decide to drift intentionally, not because we like it. I guess one could call this compromising.
Dear tetris
Try to find a moment when you're not fighting and have a good talk about this. Without the fight. Where the two of you get down to the bottom of where the frustration comes from.
You're fighting on a meta level. You don't understand what your SO is saying. And your SO has no idea how to reach you.
I guess what we perceive individually as pleasing and enjoyable doesn't mean it's this way for others. My SO and I have a similar issue. I work for fun, not for the money. My SO works for the money and fame. We work different hours and have different motivations. It causes friction. Our communication suffers because neither of us can understand why certain choices are made. Why I can accept them and work around them anyhow is because we talk about these things. About motivations and fun times and sad times. We have 1 hour weekly where we do this. 30 minutes per person, and the other is quiet, needs to listen. That way I can cope with it. Otherwise we'd fight.
Both of you need to accept that without taking the time to repeatedly say the same things (or different things), things that you feel about life, relationship, and all these things, the less you'll understand each other. Because you change, and the old truth may no longer be true. And you need to come to an agreement that both of you can live with. And it can't be "it's fine as it is" nor can it be "you don't open your laptop until tomorrow". You'll figure out what's at the bottom once you start going down that path...
Good luck, and be patient, you need to be 😄
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