2022-09-29
gonna use 8 hours on transport on saturday this is so sad
being a first year in a course thats ~30 numbers away from grad level is very funny to me even though it seems like one of the chillest classes ever
2022-09-28
i love my floor, because looking outside i am either greeted with just pure light grey i can't see past or a very beautiful view of the world, instead of just traffic
during the interview the hiring manager basically said "O_O i expected this question to take longer this is going pretty fast" for multiple questions so i was worried but it is Ok now.
got the job!
emailed a prof my completed assignment even though im not in their class
2022-09-27
start early start often. start early start often. start early start often
my cs class assigns so much reading due every 2 days and im planning on enrolling in the computer music course (resulting in 20 units [abnormal and considered heavy]) plus a job how am i supposed to finish violence: six sideways reflections. all the other classes are manageable but god. gotta read 17 sections every time
people are literally fawning over my patch day 1 of using this language so awesome
made an insane patch
im so evil dropping into a computer music lecture
wow this one controversial atheist-turned-evangelist from a non-irl server im in is a tutor for my cs class. didnt know she goes here.
going to buy clippers soon
2022-09-26
roommate told me i nap with my eyes open without blinking at all, but that in my normal sleep i close them. very strange behavior!
2022-09-25
ok my 40l pb is 48 seconds now. i am so awesome
i am .75 seconds off from getting sub50 in tetris 40l. exciting
2022-09-24
need to derust at art, im making a volcano and it isnt going the way i want it to
wait i actually meant 5 nevada readers on flounder
2022-09-23
in my linguistics discussion today the leader brought up keysmashing, someone asked him what it was and he explained it, then i contributed clarifying some things (it isn't actually random characters, there is structure and people try to make it look good), some other people contributed their experiences with keysmashing and then the discussion leader points out how it's popular in the lgbt community (hint hint), some more talk on keysmash (no one comments on his comment) and then again, the leader mentions how it was pioneered by the lgbt community (again no one comments). chillax buddy!
my lin alg prof is terrible even though people rated him well. im going to consistently listen to the recordings of the good prof instead. my other class profs seem good
holy sheesh finally got a full meal for free from an event. ngl ive only spent $10 on food so far and that's from the meal plan, ive been subsisting on free snacks instead. the meal plan only covers 130 meals anyways so this is slightly strategic
2022-09-22
in one res hall all the sink water fucking squiggles like a vertical sine wave. in one suite in my building the shower drain vortexes everything around it even the shower curtain and spits out black water. in my suite touching my laptop sometimes shocks me, and my friend's pc always shocks them, but it is not an issue in other floors. the physics are okay here!
realized my journal got cut off for some reason despite not exceeding 128kb but it is fixed now
"Someone" can now see my posts if desired!! thank you so much! unfortunately buymeacoffee took $6.23 of it but holy shit! panicked and thought i bought the wrong code but i got the right code.
reading my english syllabus let me answer a crossword clue (answer: prey (2022)). this is why reading syllabi is important
interview done.. i think i did ok! entered the zoom 30 minutes early i changed out of my wacky dataerase anime girl zoom background. there were some technical questions about using rest api, getting data from a website, python experience and i answered them ok... he talked about people applying for this job in their last quarter which sucked because of how long the onboarding process took and it seems like this is something i could keep for multiple years. people applying for it in their fourth year makes me uneasy because the other interviewees will probably have taken more classes than me. my notes:
Do I need a special work computer or is my laptop fine?
How will the team I'm working with help me succeed in my role?
How will I be trained?
When can I expect to start working?
I like the intranet name. Kinda fun
we also talked about selenium, base64, and wordle. apparently i will hear back in 2 weeks... hopefully i get it!!! the dining jobs are insanely awful.
2022-09-21
i never thought i was going to be one of those people with a trans flag on the wall but i am now. the student-run store sells them for $7.50 pretty good
kyoto is a good song
of course you can find textbooks online but the fucking homework is autograded with pearson's mylab, which needs the specific textbook access code to be bought, and linked to canvas. going to have to do this again when i take multivar calc dies
the linear algebra homework code is $75 how.. (have to pay to access my homework) i thought these were going to be much less alright then
the only game stickers this student-run store sells is disco elysium whirling-in-rags ones fucking HOW. also sells irrelevant vinyl and the cashier is the 2nd person from my college that noticed my csh bag insane
twinkle park - cheap booze, alone or with friends just reminded me to call my health insurance after the song ends. couldnt do it without you
please read bell hooks for friday
ok let me consult my whipping girl annotations first
she gave me the box cutter anyways. feels like its poking me through my twin fantasy bag even though it's retracted
2022-09-20
need interview/follow-up question tips before the 22nd (this thursday). help wanted!
...your chance to work hand-in-hand with U.S. Department of Defense (DOD) leaders to develop innovative solutions to their most pressing national security problems. This exciting program runs for the entire quarter and allows you to gain valuable internship credit...
terrible
tony rice mentioned in the wild.. my bluegrass knowledge put to good use
saw someone in an inaturalist shirt 2 days ago
2022-09-19
just used my own scissors on the headphone jack of my case, instead of taking the box cutter offer. it worked.
holy fuck this one basement is labyrinthine. wholly insane and appreciated. shouldve chosen the dorms near it
keeping good posture to protect me from seeing the countenance in the laptop reflection
2022-09-18
online is very comfy
ate insanely little today and missed every event i walked to (tried to get free food at events and tried to buy normal food but there were many obstacles. such as being open for 2 more hours but not accepting any more orders) i should fix this tomorrow
the friend i made on the 15th makes $1500 a month off of reposting deals on reddit wow
2022-09-17
my roommate and i wrote Hi :3 with post its on the window i hope people respond
they need to transfer control of the skybox to me these clouds are looking awfully mid. i can fix them.
thinking about making a song in sc with a wall of sound like jstris 1000l replays at 30x speed. constant barrage of notes and slightly rhythmically varying drum but the notes are less hollow and dull
2022-09-16
somehow got water inside the internals (around the left express keys) of my drawing tablet and it constantly presses lshift and alt and water keeps coming out both sides of the tablet. had to detach my sticky notes full of osu player signatures from the tablet because its tape isnt sticky anymore. havent been into the osu scene for a long time now but there are some cool signatures i snagged. toy, slushy, digitalhypno, etc.
codinghorror
jeff.
i wonder if they remade crunk's textboard as a hidden service but i dont care enough to check. hope its gone though
god should i start the leetcode grind how do i prepare for this
after another long spiral about everything wrong with me i got a follow up request for my job application erm. Pog?! my resume and cover letters werent trolling after all?!
2022-09-15
repressing in my situation is good actually
the main problem is that my parents would still claim me as a dependent so the process would be confusing and maybe annoying. filing fafsa as a dependent without parent tax info due to abusive household means that you cant get unsubsidized loans. but maybe i just need to fit the criteria of
were you determined to be an unaccompanied youth who was homeless or were self-supporting and at risk of being homeless, as determined by (a) your high school or district homeless liaison, (b) the director of an emergency shelter or transitional housing program funded by the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development, or (c) the director of a runaway or homeless youth basic center or transitional living program?**
to file as independent, but that is a very hard way to live! cannot emancipate myself or get legal guardianship changed because am an adult. however being treated as the husk i physically am by everyone is also hard. not to mention it would probably fuck over doing an adjustment of immigration status. i had to manage the cognitively dissonant identities of mine throughout the day because my parent forced themselves into it despite the event being only for students (wtf). hard day made ok because i hung out irl with and befriended the girl who got banned (for good reasons) from the lgbt server, not the same as from quotes.gmi
when i was younger i said the way i perceived myself and my name was one of my online aliases, the best of all my aliases at the time, and that i didnt really care for my irl name, it was only something for school.
i was thinking abt this bc i was trying to refer to myself in 3rd person
and [alias] just Fits
they nerfed me so badly
there is a map on campus with Raytheon labelled
saw an elderly man doing the nyt crossword, maybe a monday one, on the bus. mepilled
these real clouds look like someone forgot to feather them correctly
2022-09-14
=> it hasnt been updated for many months dang
after another call they told me my parent has to change my address, i cant do it myself even though i did it the first time and the university site says you can do it. this is even more terrible. insanely demoralizing. seeing if i can game the system and just revert my address. huge disaster. still need to fix my battery
after 15 more calls i learned that they input my new address wrong so my healthcare doesnt work and i have to redo everything. at this point i wont have healthcare for a month and then a month later i have to switch it back to my home address this is terrible. at least i set up syncthing successfully
applying to a lot of jobs today
got an insane tetris 20l pb. it's 23 seconds which suggests i could get a 46 second 40l pb
i got my phone battery replaced yesterday and its worse than before, but im going to move in 3 days and one of the upcoming days i cant do anything so i might just go back to the repair shop today and tell them to just reinstall the old one. sad waste of time and bus money.
2022-09-13
god bless this one person who likes vonnegut and uses the same stickman profile picture as one of my accounts. early this year, they told me to use google takeout on my data (k-12 sso account) and i did. i never used it, but then i lost access to my account even though it seemed like id be able to access it forever. a college student had emailed me a target gift card for doing a survey and i never redeemed it. today i thought it was over. but then i remembered and with the power of a random mbox viewer on sourceforge i now have the gift card and access codes.
alright it was not in spanish, i confused it with 44.caliberloveletter which has a miku image and spanish but does not actually utilize miku. i was looking for that same street
trying very hard to find the spanish miku screamo i heard recently
2022-09-12
thinking about fixing someone's quiz bowl reader to format html entities correctly, and completing a drawing of a friend as a cat (non-anthro just a normal cat. i already drew 3 anthro ones of him last year lmao) so that i can say i finished 2 whole art pieces today. first one took ~6 hours despite being relatively simple. humanoid morpho butterfly with some bfdi stylings with a ton of different textures and color jitter. the thing about heavypaint is that if you used it while it was still in alpha, it gave you a license key for the full release for each version you downloaded, you just had to dig for it in old emails. and i used it while it was still in alpha. i have 3 unused license keys hmm. no i have 4 unused license keys wtf. where do i find broke friends who want buggy experimental art programs
me getting a sub-50sec 40l sprint looking mighty possible rn
i called the county office 5 times and all of the times they hung up on me without any alert when i hit the connect to a person option or the hour hold ended with me not hearing the person on the line
wheres my tape dispenser i need to tape this microsd card baggy to use the warranty
2022-09-11
how does university challenge specifically play smetana's vltava and vaughan williams's a sea symphony instead of other music. why is what i learn so relevant to university challenge but not only connect
its hard drawing poses for nonchalant characters. im doing an art train for someone and the refsheet is also nonchalant poses so it feels uncreative to have very similar ones. but other poses are too dramatic.
getting tetris pbs to university challenge (the uk show). actually crazy how much of them i can answer with acadeca knowledge
im seriously jeopardizing the safety of one of my parents in two ways (domestic abuse and x) just by the act of going to college. its a terrible fact that may haunt me for the rest of my life.
2022-09-10
cannot believe i just got a limp bizkit reference
ok my buymeacoffee is live feel free to donate and i hope to post more cool stuff on there. i might make some new art to set up a commission sheet as well.
=> https://www.buymeacoffee.com/warrenhello
the stationery store i was planning to go to closed down 2 years ago
finished whipping girl
2022-09-09
asked a language server for clarification on what one of my parents said (stripping away all context) instead of re-asking my parent. we love language barriers and suspicious loaded questions. anyways the answer was pretty bad for my future
boarded a bus while it was in the middle lane, far past the bus stop
neither paypal nor stripe have approved me. im considering sharing my buymeacoffee or my venmo instead...
2022-09-08
dang stripe restricted me... i appealed tho
im thinking of making a flash-style stealth game and may learn more blender for it.. i once made an awesome succulent but it was with a configuration i dont like so id be learning from scratch
hi i made a ko-fi for fun. feel free to donate to me. special art music webpages etc inside. maybe taking commissions
=> sorry it is broken. hopefully fixed by tomorrow
i actually have enough money from scholarships + $1000 of my own to cover 4 years of unsubsidized loans and eliminate assets if they happen to be factored into fafsa. so i should return my unsubsidized loan. but i dont have enough to even break the surface of the subsidized
2022-09-07
the concept is not that bad. i actually believe in what i wrote
im going to do this essay concept actually. we need to fill the void starbucks has left.
on one hand i do want to shitpost and suggest a way that [] can unite people is to provide 0-deductible ffs for workers but i dont think the scholarship committee would enjoy that
this fucking scholarship is so goofy.
i guess if i can write a resume and cover letter i can do some more scholarships ? (god they put fucking interest that accumulates while in college on unsubsidized loans π₯Ά)
2022-09-06
watch me get auto-resume-rejected.
alright im struggling on this cover letter agh
just finished both my resumes (one programming, one general) but they suck and are also just .txts at the moment. pls accept my humble plaintext
theres a breakcore song i keep losing that samples the phrase "the corner cafe" from imogen heap's goodnight and go (very awesome) but every time i hear the song its always so lame
the disability accommodations at my college are pretty useless to me. sad!
2022-09-05
sheeeesh my lamp is awesome. my own miniature art installation, so cool.
going insane trying to remove flush wood pieces of this lamp kit because one piece wont fully slide down just i cant slide it up either. and other pieces are basically locked in so i cant sand them down to be looser
it is hugely trolling myself to think of any place i communicate in as being safe
derusting in tetris is going well
2022-09-04
59% through whipping girl... annotated so much, the most of anything ive read excluding things ive read for acadeca (in which i comment on everything or highlight in 8 different colors). after it i should finish one of the discarded art history books i got before i move. then back to ecology of mind, then a mieville book?
peeped the france.tv jazz festival to see knower perform. a lot of the times in their performances, even the one i saw live, genevieve's vocal mixing is off but it was really good today. i know 2 french postal codes now, 78000 in versailles and 75008 in paris, and presumably 000-999 for the last 3 digits but cant be too sure.
2022-09-03
somehow subconsciously learned to do 4wide today. was playing in the default jstris lobby and i did a 4wide 5x combo or so and died because in jstris it attacks yourself
2022-09-02
id probably get kicked out or have something horrible done to me, bc one of my parents abuses the other, if i tried to transition and lose all my comforts! can't be that hard to physically repress for 4 more years haha. i thought the environment would be different in college but eh cis people were misgendering me all the time in the cs program lol. its actually debilitating but thats the price i pay for wanting to network.
every time i spiral into this i think about that one line from isabel fall
Often, you might say. All the time. It haunts me.
Then you, more than anyone, helped make me.
the goal is to have a place i can confine myself in without having to interact with anyone apart from online friends. i exchange much of my happiness and self now to have my full self later. like everyone but also selfself. maybe itll happen.
=> https://yewtu.be/hyCIpKAIFyo
my wobble clone can now be on my resume. its complete
cuz imagine if your were whoami and you entered whoami and it returned whoami and you could only say boing in response. thats truly whoami
2022-09-01
echolalia is going so hard rn. fre:ac am i right. whoami (heartlove). whoami (whoami). whoami right
so wasapi am i right. been goin at this darkaudacity project for like 2 hours how
its actually insane how my banking app would've communicated with tiktok (which i dont have) analytics if i didnt set up trackercontrol.
2022-08-31
stood near the fridge and thought this tone and its low frequency oscillation sounds like it was made by noiz. sounded so good tho. it literally posted a vocaroo incredibly similar to the fridge sound with the tagline working on new music. masters supercollider to make fridge noises.
omg lychee jelly cup?
Consuming this product can expose you to chemicals including Lead, Cadmium, ...
2022-08-30
do not try to memorize and recite this dont do it. why are the sounds in this channel's videos so good
=> https://yewtu.be/_TlpUUEzB8I
every work study job needs a resume 3: and a cover letter 3:. making good progress on my clone, you can feed and play with other people's pets now
ok my scripts work! everything and life is good
doing a cron job when you're not the root user (on a pubnix now, rpi is hopeless i think) is terrible. nothing is working and i cant see the logs
2022-08-29
tried reformatting my microsd with raspbian and failed like 12 times with different formatters to the point i cant even fix it 3:. not even chkdsk 3:. reformatting my usb took only 1 try. i just wanted to set up a cron job........ for my wobble.town/astrobotany clone...
2022-08-28
got like 5 mentors to run through my code and they said they didnt even learn this in their 3rd year, also that the answer key was really confusing. i ended up not submitting my code because it does an important mechanism wrong and instead kinda black boxed it in just english which is the first time i did that. gonna try and see what i can do tho.
spending more than 5 hours on this algorithm rn
2022-08-27
love that theres a public speaking course in the engineering department as one of the highest upper div courses. hi glad you made it this far heres how to make eye contact with people and talk like a normal person. wink
2022-08-26
because everything beyond the anonymous safety of digital text just reveals how terrible the mass societal situation and the people i have to interact with irl really are. going outside alone is chill when i can just ignore how it is and disassociate but otherwise im never at peace
fuck i neeeeeeed to go to skatsune miku's free concert but alas i cannot
zoom (L. trying to bring joy to a soulless world) workflow for imposting. rename self to impostee. take a screenshot of the impostee's video feed, easy with sharex. perhaps erase the impostee and add skewed images of things they like such as raiden, kokomi, and keqing above this screenshot in an image editor, krita. use this updated image as virtual bg. pin impostee's video feed in zoom, use it as obs display capture, do a little alt-drag resizing handles and fit to screen. record obs integrated webcam, use it as your video source, and now the impostee has your silly background!
2022-08-25
u already kno what to expect when knifehandchop and belladonnakillz are in the related artists (the music is mid)
these crosswords are top-tier they use kigurumi as a clue
2022-08-24
one of my online friends is a relative of an lcd soundsystem member and thought it was a small-time band
remembered part of my dream. it was like i was playing a pdef with a prand for chromatic notes, or just awkward diatonic intervals but nothing was visible. crazy how my brain just generated random notes
2022-08-23
felt like getting crosswords on my phone through forkyz and i did this as my 2nd puzzle (my 1st was the first one on his blog in 2017)
=> http://arctanxwords.blogspot.com/2022/07/puzzle-196-yesha-ha-hayes.html
the first one is way more normal its shocking how the same person made it. this one fucking has car seat headrest - souls. didn't read the rest of the clue but i heard the lyrics in my head and filled in the blank immediately.
yay i know how to use scikit-learn now! its quite different from nltk, weird to adjust to. big fan of complement naive bayes
ok so they said their hours of operation were extended but apparently those weren't for the customer service so tomorrow ig
forgot to update... after i left the 30 min hold, the person on the line almost immediately couldn't hear me like i was on mute so i hung up. trying again in a few hours LuL
20 phone calls later, i might have called the right number and put in the right options to solve my issue? on hold tho so who knows
finished the maze, need to add la fontana dell'organo, the forge, the lounge, and all the other places. deploying python to heroku is hell
2022-08-21
hope i get better in 4 years (dysphoria-related). one of my online friends called me unreal (as opposed to a real person) and i appreciate that.
transposed most of my ascii maze to a hedge maze in vanilla minecraft, 4 lines left, 16 done. its 180x60 blocks. spent too much time enjoying the roteness of transforming each character into a 3x3 section, making sure to never mess up the positioning. also frederick the great-ing the land except im the only person, theres no river oder and also no deaths
2022-08-19
bruh did they group roommates in the gender neutral housing by agab. theyre trolling
2022-08-18
made a markov chain and tested it with a compilation of various copypastas, licenses, and texts and some of what its saying is so good
bye commands are incredible
2022-08-17
text-only communication is the best
looked at mika's tinylog... using sftp sftp://starjump@flounder.online:2024/ now...
now using this as my .ssh/config file and i can do sftp -P 2024 starjump@flounder.online normally
Host flounder.online PubkeyAcceptedAlgorithms +ssh-rsa HostkeyAlgorithms +ssh-rsa
testing from sftp using the flag -oHostKeyAlgorithms=+ssh-rsa (openssh doesn't include ssh-rsa by default)
every organization's phone number, website, and office make every process so unclear and never address the not-uncommon issues im having die die die. and they never have an "other" option. they always think theyve covered everything but they never do
2022-08-16
fuck economic growth and expansion stop all this nonsense!
2022-08-15
i didnt think ben eater was going to be that useful to learning this one course but his videos are almost on par with it. and the actual course lecture videos kinda suck. fuck it grinding ben eater videos
its kagerou day. one of my instructors whos like 50 said "we'll speedrun through 6 different courses in this lecture" but theres only 2 ways to pick up that use of speedrun. 1. being into speedruns or 2. following zoomer lingo. questioned him and he says he picked it up from watching extra credits and getting gaming yt recommendations. used to watch extra history... forgot what happened in carthage, the byzantine empire, or the sengoku jidai but i still remember jon snow, which country tunisia is, and that tokugawa was very important
2022-08-14
fuck, scholarships give me so much dread
just remembered some of my irl friends (that were in grades ahead of me) are in their 20s now ee
2022-08-13
so i beat my codestats goat awesome. the most experienced/skilled (student) programmer in my program has korekiyo from drv3 on all his avatars. terrible. but he implemented a beautiful graphical version of dijkstra's algorithm insanely fast (we were supposed to figure an algorithm fully on our own for a problem amd weren't taught dijkstra or anything helpful, had a week to do it. unfortunately dijkstra's alg isnt the way to solve the problem, its not about distance. but with some modifications it can be used)
2022-08-12
have not fully mastered using the sharps of ms paint brushes but im sure theyre wisely designed. today i continued an ms paint study i did 2 years ago. miss grinding out studies. the water detail on the right and sand color under the water/foam is fucked up but its ok
my codestats machine doesnt include a lot of the text editors i use but god my stats went insane today. my goat so far
i set up voicemeeter banana for any future sc performances... the seconds of latency are annoying but gotta push through it..
2022-08-11
the jittering angle of a pen drawing a recursive snowflake fits perfectly with the end of bomb the music industry - no rest for the whiny
fuck github but i got the ELUSIVE [awesome lovable emoticon] DEFAULT IDENTICON and that is a win. LEGIT it is PERFECTLY [awesome lovable emoticon] im on some lambda male type shit
2022-08-10
nah how are these upperclassmen so well-adjusted
2022-08-09
mm loan counseling
havent touched sc for a few weeks but i did wavetable synthesis for the first time yay
2022-08-08
whenever my instructor screenshots something on macos, it plays a note and i just hear the teentopia anthem from hypnospace outlaw in my head even though the screenshot sound is like an octave off
i underrate exploder falls
2022-08-07
sometimes death-information gets to me. rn it is being presented attractively. down to earth, ms paint, Animanga + artist's own developed religion and its very hazardous. vlr had death-information through quark and immediately treated it as insane, but it was relatable. had to talk myself through why its incorrect
2022-08-06
i was on time and actually went into the waiting area but left (asked if i could) to get food and got back late
lol fuck i did the wacky hand gestures for the bus this time on the opposite street at a red light and it ignored me even when i was 10 ft away. but im almost always late to appointments anyway so eh
right before midnight, i made a fellow summer program student play moonsetter on his grand piano, then i did wordle 413. when i req'd the song, i forgot it was going to be 413 even though yesterday, some homestuck fan pointed out that it would be
2022-08-04
for about 30 minutes i searched through my dictionary txt of 370103 words for 4 words from each letter of the alphabet to use in my and my lab partner's hangman program. they thought words like trinitrophenylmethylnitramine and jaculiferous were too cruel to gamers.
lol my 1 ap bio class cleared 3 science courses, clearing my science ge, so i only need to take physics for my major (L chem)
noooo my school's [] is hosted on wix and they didnt even bother to change the default page name from mysite or use a custom domain
2022-08-02
interspersing my homework with call-with-current-continuation rants to stay sane
ok i fixed the stack problem... yay my sprite follows arrow keys now. would honestly be very easy to create a 17cf-type game especially if i made a program that converts pixel art into the blackspace format.
one of my summer program professors has a bookmarked folder called Trackers. after his lecture i asked if they were private trackers and he said yeah but keep it on the down low lmao
2022-08-01
i ended up only learning the basics of linear algebra. no physics and no ben eater. i instead watched/listened to maybe 120 collective hours of atlus's catherine (really interesting premise, although theres an incredible amount of oppositional sexism + atlus's signature transphobia), zero escape vlr (very engaging and unintentionally hilarious), persona 4, and disco elysium (after my playthrough). its chill though, i dont need to learn them yet
today i had to make a maze solver in a language that has only one command. learnt some cool basic math rules (half or half+1 factors of a number go up to its square root and you can find the rest with the first half, divisibility rule for 3). might even fix my virtual memory overflow problem in my blackspace program. comparatively big day for my brain in this thoughtless summer
pretty productive week
2022-07-31
love how i finished 2 full-body lineless colored okay-backgrounds artfight attacks this week. was planning to do one more on this cool warrior cats oc but i dont have enough time tmrw, which is the last day.
2022-07-30
200 streak :D
2022-07-29
just beat a co-op platformer by my lonesome
yay 90 hour playlist (thanks to local files)
2022-07-28
just paid $145 for a vaccine
was checking a wikipedia article, browsed the contributions of the latest editor and theyre such a stereotype its unbelievably funny. neeed to do this more
yeah my streaks fixed
2022-07-27
i may have fixed the wordle problem by changing wordle-state variables but now i gotta play on desktop
FUCK i forgot to save my open tabs and wordle stats on firefox before switching my phone (warranty exchange). i also tried to regenerate my wordle stats but when i edit the statistic variables it just keeps changing it to current streak 1. today was my 199th day of wordle i was so fucking close to having a good streak. i did save my bromite tabs tho this is depressing. i saved my signal messages my pano scrobbler settings my tachiyomi library and many other things but not my wordle. gahh
trying to get all important in-person business done before my k-12 bus pass expires but i dont need to because when i bushop drivers dont care
2022-07-25
yay my upload works now (unrelated to putty. it was probably because i didn't use notepad as my text editor this time)
holy shit i installed putty and realized its by simon tatham. the puzzles guy! the no-guessing mines guy. insane
2022-07-24
trying to find this one japanese artist i was into in 2018 with a style like wlop (but better) or ruan jia, mainly used a palette of black/white/pink, and maybe had a handle starting with @go but its probably futile. especially since artists have a habit of deleting their accounts
im too washed up. tooo washed for comfort
2022-07-23
more bands should have games made for them. found out about concernedape's 17 colourful fingers today. its visuals are so nice
.exe btw
2022-07-22
made a tumblr blog today, tried a 4-letter username (different from the minecraft one, which was even taken before 2016), and it was available. but it there are also many obvious, meaningful 3-letter ones too. when i say letter i do just mean a-z. i expected more gigantic platforms to have already sniped them like reddit, especially with all the spambots around but on a lot of them no one has tried
just learned theres a guy who beatboxes over livecoding and live electronics
2022-07-21
i have a textbook i forgot to return since it was never scanned. ive been meaning to return it + ask for another diploma for the past month but i havent and dont even know if my school is still open
2022-07-17
encountered the best fucking scene in my video game history. seriously dope, it required so much chance to line up. it was a monumental dance scene in disco elysium. first, instead of declining the hardcore fans' offer to convert a church into a nightclub or arresting them, i ran around and did their quest. then i forgot to save so no savescumming, just pure luck.
when i talked to their leader after starting up the club, "disco elysium" was namedropped for the first time in the game (which is weird because this quest is very tangential). he started dancing these absolutely idiotic moves and i passed an impossible composure check (but for me i had maybe 72%?) and busted these freaky speed demon moves. there was light going all over the place because i happened to hold my flashlight even though it was 9am in-game. the dj started dancing, infected by my swag. got the leader to fix his dance into something more awesome, and the uptight hardcore hater programmer to rhythmically nod her head as she worked. then i passed an impossible RED authority check (cannot retry, think i had a 42% chance) to get my humorless straightlaced detective partner to dance. with a pair of 6s. my only one to date in this game iirc. i had 2 authority, but -2 from my shirt, and i couldn't exit out to change my clothes or else the dance scene would end, so i put one skill point into it and lucked out. i convinced him it was an emergency situation and he finally loosened up and danced! he had weird moves, like some amateur 3d animator made them but i dont judge. everyone on screen was dancing it was crazy
2022-07-15
the disco elysium writer made the field recordist clueless and the tech guy whos an art gallery collaborator seem like a pseud will this next creative be awesome or what
what the hell i tried a 4 letter username for my brand new minecraft account and its available. in the year of 2022 id expect some bot to already have registered all 456,976 permutations of the alphabet. or at least for someone to have snagged mine
2022-07-14
constantly reeling from the fact someone has a website where he links 64 of his online presences. while actively using the website to blog, host useful projects and his resume, etc.
i love how bluegrass has been a permanent addition to my daily mixes ever since 10 days ago. at most i hear 5 bluegrass songs per day, usually 0. but spotify really wants me to listen to bryan sutton, aubrey haynie, tony rice and co
2022-07-13
lol just spent the past 2 days creating a maze on graph paper then manually making ascii art from it. its so fucked how in consolas the character for beamed eighth notes is drawn as the beamed sixteenth notes and theres no consolas-specific u+266c (real beamed sixteenth notes). bad font! the concept of areas is inspired by
=> gemini://freeshell.de/maze/
also got 100% in truck sim yesterday
2022-07-12
through the bus window i watched an older man awkwardly place/remove/place/remove/place a sticker on a box labelled biohazard
wtf, i was checking out mold gold's music, checked their artist last.fm page and one of the top listeners listens to a musician i took some inspiration from back in my beepbox days who has 126 last.fm listeners.
2022-07-10
went through a whole truck sim adventure these past 3 hours. i traveled using the free roam camera which is incredibly slow, wasted one hour at 1x fly speed but changed it to 5 for the next 2 hours, going from jackpot, nevada to some non-descript location in idaho, a dlc i haven't unlocked, because there's a road out there on the base game that is required to 100% the game. no you cannot get 100% legitimately. at first it seems like beyond nevada, there are full roads but that quickly ends. 99% of the free roam traveling was just me, the skybox, and occasionally my truck when i teleported it. when i got to the road after 3 whole hours, i was -2.36139e+06 in z coordinates from the road. teleported myself up (i couldve teleported myself at the beginning but didnt care to not waste my time and didnt care to experiment with the coordinates or figure out the system. but the road is at -70998.1;70;-36066.8. no one online mentions this or even having to go through idaho to get 100%. there is also an unreachable road in nevada people say wont be needed to get 100% but you do need it, it gives a whole 0.03%. and you can get hit by various trains there its very cool), and drove for a good 30 seconds or so. then the road abruptly ended. but after these 95 in-game hours and probably 130 legitimate steam hours i am only 0.01% away from 100%ing the world map. yay!
=> img/ats1.jpg | img/ats2.jpg | img/ats3.jpg
just opened radio.garden, moved to a random dot, and sheena ringo played.
2022-07-09
one writing course i can take for my ge is about music and mentions writing blog posts in its short description. banger
2022-07-08
i will do at least 1 artfight attack this month
found but didnt dive into a fun-looking rabbit hole of 20 view flipaclip animations with entrancing encoding errors that no one is commenting on. there are comments on some of them by the animators' friends but they all somehow skip over the fact that there is something wrong with the videos.
2022-07-06
overjoyed when im suspicious of a road that isnt blocked off yet not on the map and i drive into it and it says New passage. Map updated. in american truck simulator
2022-07-05
missing some friends and communities
woah... goreshit and the omori ost reference supercar, a musician ive never heard of* until today. i was playing their album futurama and heard the track white surf style 5. thought futurama was a 2010s or 2020s album and the song was using the same sample as goreshit's i love you more each time you die but no. its the original!
*i listened to 1 track from them in july 2021 but dont recall doing that
got a headache from intense dread towards financial institutions and my mobile carrier.
woohoo my ap score predictions were right
2022-07-04
added 5 bluegrass songs to my playlist from 5 hours of hearing the genre and i now have 88 hours of songs
need the album fastest bluegrass alive to be discreetly reuploaded to spotify at 1.5x playback speed and then it can be considered for my playlist. discreetly so some listeners get a nice surprise
2022-07-01
went down a rabbit hole checking out the lj people and i am intensely envious of them. wait lmao i remember in 2020 one of them made a noise album, added it to rym, it got 5/5 stars. it was the first day i checked rym for music, i just wanted good noise music, and it was terrible. but in general and now god theyre insanely talented and prolific. to a very very mindboggling degree. i never checked these people out further than the shitty song until today. one of them was there for rin yaba's kig dig.
the performers in the lj fest are unironically the group of /f followers i found earlier in
=> /spoilers/archangelnemesis.gmi
=> https://yewtu.be/VvJNc73PaOs
found the fest i missed... dont even remember how i found the flyer. i was searching girljournal and everything but i thought i hallucinated the word journal from here and gave up
missed 8 hours of that urlfest... thankfully i remembered during an /f-like's set. there are still 2 more days. one song went crazy good. its like teamcpu melodies constrained within /f. dont know the title and dont think shazam knows this artist.
realized that cool worldbuilding server is a furry server also. many people mention "fa" or label it in their socials and it's furaffinity.
not employed. 3b1b time
2022-06-30
independent, unknowing development of the same ideas is fun
need to read odofemi's story in meanwhile, elsewhere
hope i can find someone to come to weatherday with me otherwise i cant go even tho tickets are $15- (god what a deal)
2022-06-29
im almost finished with part 1 of ecology of mind but i started julia serano's whipping girl. might finish it before going back. shoutout to november for introducing me to her from an article on his capsule.
im taking long afternoon naps every day now but its unintentional for the most part
2022-06-28
remembered a radio show was happening today. 2nd time i've caught it these past 2 years.
what if i got a pocket operator and brought it everywhere
for a bit under an hour i experienced a scintillating scotoma and it moved into the edges of my vision, moving/oscillating quickly and wildly, sometimes forming outlines of weird shapes. so for 1/8th of my vision it was like the optical effect that happens when 2 grids/fences overlap, when power lines are a certain way, or the rendering of thin objects in old games expanded into an area, not just a line.
leapt into a different bus as it was closing and got hit by the doors but they were as gentle as a feather and the bus driver said sorry
how do you signal to a bus driver that you want to board it when its about to leave the stop and you're across the street on a red light. felt like a loser repeatedly pointing to it and holding my hand out with a stop palm. felt like waving would be even more lame but perhaps more effective. i ran to a different bus at a different stop that just sped past me (which i feel signals the original bus to ignore me) and had to run back to the original sidewalk. then took out my bus card and ran to the bus as it was in the middle of the street, past the stop. it worked. i dont know if the driver caught my hand signals or if it was just my awkward run.
2022-06-27
if i dont get employed by july 1 i will start watching 3b1b, ben eater, and mit physics 2 lectures so i dont die in electrical engineering courses. yes my major is computer engineering. yes it was my alternate and i got rejected from cs. thank god i didnt choose aerospace as my alt, which i did for a different college. that wouldve been a serious π moment!
yesterday i mentioned i wanted to get into more worldbuilding spaces and loved a certain worldbuilder's work. today someone ive never talked to or knew about before today invited me to a server with that worldbuilder and semi-strict invitations so im flattered. all the discussion seems to be right up my alley too. the servers's 18+ with "state your age or kicked" "lying minors immediately banned" rules, and im in a weird spot where i am just 18. i always thought anyone saying that looked suspicious when i was younger. i still feel suspect, especially since the other users are mostly 20-40 but it is for real.
when i turned 18 i didnt think about it other than "i can use paypal now" and "cant make impressive things as a minor anymore", but i can finally shed the lying about age anxiety of the past 11 years.
2022-06-26
just learned the real reason sweet trip disbanded. horrifying
just encountered a urlfest ive never heard of with galen tipton, sophiaaaahjkl;8901, etc and i was already following the twitch channel. guess i missed it last time and erased it from memory. hope i remember it this time.
2022-06-25
every college puts the good classes in the graduate section to troll undergrads. i wont be able to take the useful computer music classes soon because they are grad level. i also checked eli fieldsteel's course level and his is also graduate. even the beginner lessons.how
who are the people spotify makes these playlists for
=> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37i9dQZF1DWW9lEco8NkcU
2022-06-23
there's something about machine girl making the whole ost for neon white that's crazy to me. famous musician sitting down and making 52 tracks for a game, although dnb and hardcore are already associated with games so it shouldnt be that insane to me. in my head it's on the level of sturgill simpson ("Outlaw Country, Country Soul, Bluegrass") going anime.
using marginalia's search engine to find conspiracy sites and chick tracts because they have good images
=> http://www.raptureready911.com/index.html | http://fmh-child.org/Firefox_warning.jpg | http://fmh-child.org/Gay_USA.jpg
constantly savescumming in disco elysium
just sticking to matrix now
2022-06-22
glad i learned early (as in now) to talk less freely and personally on high-profile imageboards. keep it to much less frequented ones or private. i have a bad habit of giving unneeded context on them and someone discovered a post i made.
spent maybe 8 hours in total actively using xmpp these past few days and encountered so many problems (not successfully sending or receiving messages, losing previously working omemo on the same client&device), how do people persevere. using the standard conversations and gajim, testing a lot of different public servers... ill look into bugfixes but its not looking good
2022-06-21
ee i got audiophile headphones as my first set of headphones and my ears are too sensitive. fucking around with multipliers and phases on sine waves and its too much for my eardrums
2022-06-19
applied for a job :)
2022-06-18
trying to publish a list on lists.sh but it doesn't treat treats.txt as a .txt
blaming all my problems on my parents age when they had me (they were over 40). i am rife with de novo mutations
2022-06-17
now have an 86 hour playlist thanks to csh - souls, maud gone (monomania) and a few nervous young man tracks. no one talks about how good souls or i wanna sweat is.
2022-06-16
there's a person who listens to poppy, sophiaaaahjkl;8901, similar, and normal music and loves star wars that is also doing gender-inclusive housing in my college but i dont know if they pass my vibe check. we could be roommates but i dunno.. they only have 1 message sent and their introduction seems very normal. lego fan, says they like board and video games but doesn't specify. redditor energy
still have not found my diploma. what ever
i got my diploma but immediately lost it. cant remember if i was holding it during my whole walk or if it fell when i tied my shoes
do most people just not mentally separate other people (personality, thoughts, beliefs, actions) from their bodies. seeing people express a lot of certain visceral hates towards others and they really could be avoided by that
2022-06-15
i feel like the engineer who reads purely google-translated amateur web novels rn.
=> https://queenlua.tumblr.com/post/640849849838944256/i-know-an-engineer-type-dude-who-said-fiction
in a prison of my own design. i have queued up 3 more hours worth of unknown quality songs
listening to the musicians my program ordered, so far i have heard guttural chinese rap mixed with a girl group, tried to skip a boring bad song and the next second i heard extreme german autotune. been on this discovery grind for 2 hours, most songs are underwhelming or that
forgot to get my diploma for the 3rd time this week. only realized when i finished writing this program.
2022-06-14
using the last.fm api to make a simple program with a concept that would and did get me made fun of by my friends
why did i block kuvshinov ilya what did he do
know i was and am online too much when i know what artists made what album cover/artist image without knowing the song or doing any research or double checking. yeag thats marlbaraltd. yeah that's ilya kushinov. yeag thats jason anderson
every fucking guy says different things in the debate on salon vs barber. depending on what side they're on, they say the other results in a feminine haircut they didn't ask for. both reiterate this a lot. so i will learn to cut my own hair
=> http://ftmguide.rassaku.net/guide/index.htm#head | http://www.ftmguide.org/haircuts.html
=> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:WikiFauna | gemini://gemi.dev/cgi-bin/wp.cgi/view?Wikipedia%3AWikiFauna | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia_talk:WikiFauna
ive seen a few wikipedia culture articles before but not this. so good. the department of fun banner is so cute. wikipedians need to be attracted to the area with fun activities or else they will scurry away
2022-06-12
so beepbox does and i need to learn many many things
it's not any less authentic to use buffers of vocal samples in my pad but i wanna see if i can get by on just wavetable ugens ykno. should check beepbox code and see if it actually generates anything itself.
stop naming things utc. i can only tolerate so much multi-meanings
2022-06-11
i underrate my past self so much. came across one of my shittier but very layered and slidy loops trying to find my terminal beach one and it has bootleg of a bootleg of emamouse vibes, which is pretty good in its own way. plus i remember i was fucking with melodic minors in wacky keys and made something that sounded good and from a witch's hut. made at least 60 works collectively in beepbox and musescore in that era. people say the hobbies you stop will serve you when you need them. i could be so good at conventional composition rn if i just kept up with it. but i have not been passionate for anything in so long now.
once i figure out how to fourier transform that specific pad sound into sinoscs its over for every producer with their damn hardware
2022-06-10
in a few more years i will have to go thru green card bureaucracy for one of my parents, pay up thousands, then wait like 5 years for the card, that's after their id expires woo. how does one operate without an id for 5 years
felt like reading cernst's copy of ecology of mind today and got through:
preface
preface
foreword
introduction
wonder what book has the most extreme version of this sequence
2022-06-09
it's wild that the first verbal instance of someone referring to me as warren was at the physical location of twitch by one of its employees/staff, today, instead of by irl friends, online friends, or anyone in the servers i frequent. because either nicknames off of handles > real names for the groups that do know, or they don't know about it.
pokemon word of mouth
=> http://cordite.org.au/poetry/game/soft-corruptor/
=> https://nitter.net/BoneJail/status/1534786661955117056
i need to do this
goodbye zoe
2022-06-08
reading what people wrote in my yearbook makes me want to actually work on my hobbies. gotten so rusty, barely even creating now. i used to be so prolific and made so much cool works. i wanted to work on art some days ago and collected refs but didn't draw anything. i have a mental block or something. artfight's coming up but im busy then... this is the last free month i have.
goodbye to hs people forever except for those that go to my college and the ones i'll see at my friend's graduation party
lmao i was the only senior to bring a bag to graduation and it was a csh tote. it was to get some last yearbook signatures and a senior i didn't know recognized it. my school is in such a that-type-of-online-zoomer drought that that's surprising
2022-06-07
i am trying to 100% phoenix interchanges. so many different roads in the same xy coordinate...
yesterday i signed paper documents as warren with my parents a few feet away, scanned them, then crumpled and threw them away. first physical evidence of warren
2022-06-06
hypertrance just feels like people saw dv-i and went let's copy this
its been 10 minutes and i still cannot refind that music festival happening on twitch. if anyone sees a flyer online with pinkish y2k visuals with artists no one has ever heard of for june 11 hmu
unfortunate how so many urlfests and music movements are only spread through twitter. i just lost track of one that's happening on june 11.
my friend was signing my yearbook earlier and told me not to look. i accidentally read the first sentence and it started off with "what the fuck". she didn't finish writing it, and i saw that it was getting pretty long without reading the words. i have to wait until tomorrow to see its thrilling conclusion.
id add bandcamp to my music article if i could ever find good music from the tag search or listener libraries but i havent yet
2022-06-05
i have dirt on a random noname politician hundreds of miles away, straight from their own intern but at the same time, doesn't everyone.
if i play osu again i could crawl to a 90 hour playlist... getting tired of only knowing 1,319 good songs on spotify. just from may to now ive been trying a lot of unfamiliar music (and listening to albums in full) from nanoray, h a u n t e r, giraffes giraffes, egress, tone sphere ost, ηΌΊη, gesu no kiwami otome, kendrick, melt-banana, yukari fresh, classic j, chon, ruth dancing, kara's walk home, jer, probably more. i already like songs from a lot of these but the albums i heard :|. i only came out liking 4 songs in total, 3 from macdonald duck eclair and 1 from paraoka. cursed with a limited music taste :(
2022-06-04
i can hear the heartlovepowertemple in archangel nemesis's music arrangement. this has to be not livecoded
2022-06-03
fuck it im going to finish archangel nemesis, read either rings of saturn or a random bateson essay, then replay aurora memoria. the rest can be decided on later
reading some of chapter 6 of dr. fiona challacombe's break free from ocd. i'd gone down a bizarre spiral of trans people trying to convince themselves they're their agab for real or for other purposes... but this website has always got my back
=> https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/am-i-trans
archangel nemesis enjoyer spotted...
=> //chris.e-worm.club/twtxt.txt
in one of the shows ive gone to, a band covered francis forever in full and it was awesome. ~170hz country closed quotient vocals <3
there's only 2 albums and 1 ep where every song is one i enjoy, and one of those albums is just 2 songs. last.fm says i've listened to almost 6,000 albums (including singles and eps) but i've probably only heard 600 of them in full. this is why playlist listening is superior, no bad songs.
2022-06-02
seeing the sentiment that 1 bass girl is worth 100,000 guitar men, how much bass girls are worth 1 banjo enby? are banjo enbies worth less than guitar men?
won a game of mahjong for the first time, playing with chicken hand rules. the mj set and table provided by my calc teacher.
2022-06-01
gonna have no money gonna have no money gonna have no money gonna have no money gonna have no money gonna have no money
man who tends to a they/them terrarium housing enby insects
i want to write on digital identity but not for spokeo... as someone who makes a new, unrelated username for almost every site i go on. i have online people referring to me by 4+ different active aliases. one time i thought one of my cooler aliases was dying so i re-spread it.
2022-05-31
on one hand doing scholarships from evil companies takes away some of their money on the other hand i'm doing business with them and they now know me. spokeo's doing a contest, i searched up a random scholarship winner on their site and all her personal info is there. thanks spokeo!
i'll have $19k in federal student loans when i get out of college. then probably have to take out private ones cuz of the housing crisis. how the fuck are people graduating debt-free.
listening to jerma play a miku rhythm game while playing a dance of fire and ice, another rhythm game i barely started, is messing me up. i'm trying to listen to the miku songs because i love all of them, but it feels like i'm doing too little. 2 rhythm games at once is too much though. theoretically one person playing 5 different ones at once is possible, where one is a video playthrough, the next is adofai (spacebar), then stepmania on the same hand, then osu on pure mouse, and finally ddr. will anyone step up to the challenge? preferably all different songs too
4 years ago i made a folder called fall 2018 - spring 2022 and have consistently used it since. the era is almost over
2022-05-30
writing lyrics and i've got
transitioning from male to alpha male
watching cucumbers get eaten by snails
in the last verse
2022-05-29
many puzzle games of the riddle type promote pseudoscience, specifically knowing something that isn't physically there (remote viewing, morphic resonance), which is fascinating due to the contradiction.
i have 19 active hours in truck simulator from these past 2 days
watching joseph anderson play zero escape 999, late game now. i love how the characters can just spout off hyperspecific facts about the titanic, chemistry/vonnegut, astrology, physics, and conspiracy theories. then the rest of their personality is otherwise expected or sociopathic (in a jarring but really intriguing way). decathlon in the year of cat's cradle paid off, i get its references. made quite a few ms paint illustrations of scenes from the book.
2022-05-28
8 hours in, still terrible at trucking. im now mildly more familiar with the pacific southwest. before i only knew carlsbad had a desal plant. now i know where it is
i love trucking.
2022-05-27
wore my twin fantasy hat 98% of the time at the banquet
got my first kiss on the cheek from the friend who doesn't like you belong with helix nebula. i was wrong about my previous assumption they were in a relationship. we both think dating wouldn't work out so nothing's going to happen.
there's a formal banquet today and im gonna go with my prom fit minus boutonniere plus reversible twin fantasy bucket hat, not tucking in the dress shirt this time
=> img/hat.jpg
2022-05-26
friend told me my movements are jerky and unpredictable, like im unsure of what to do up until the last second
never been on a plane or at an airport. i don't forsee my first plane ride happening for a few more years
just wore my 3 year old retainers for the first time since january or so (faithfully wore them for the first year and some months). it's not as painful as i thought it would be
current students of the college i'm going to are making the college seem very bad in terms of housing, admin, professors, internet, food, ac. very concerning. looks like i gotta apply for snap
2022-05-25
cannot get over how in the kid forum i used to go on, the extensive list of banned words was right in the source html of every single page. i dont remember most of them, but alongside misspelled and pre-censored permutations of swears, there were phrases like "if you don't star", "if you don't favorite", "ipad away". if someone wrote "sorry i have to put my ipad away" they'd be hit with "sorry i have to put my βΌβΌβΌβΌ βΌβΌβΌβΌ". this censoring would show up in the message preview was well. unfortunately this list is no longer bundled with every page. i should've saved it permanently when i was 11 agh!
i enjoy the fact that searching up at least two of an internet celebrity's aliases on twitter will bring up whatever drama they're embroiled in
also need to learn hydra
2022-05-24
didn't finish it in time but it was a self-imposed deadline for a song im not going to release so it's fine. i tried making that pad sound i wanted but veered into different territory... i really need to figure out how to create math rock time signatures and work with demand-rate stuff, look into those tweet-sized supercollider programs.
need to finish this song soon.
wow just did state testing while looping glass beach - yoshi's island and the test (science) touched on calicos and their sex chromosomes for 6 questions. glass beach reference!
it's weird that i'm struggling on how to even transport myself to college.
2022-05-23
holy shit. a few hours ago i was messing with the equalizer in "music", the music player on f-droid and turned concert hall on, just for listening to twinkle park mp3s i have. then just now i was checking instagram stories, and tyler the creator's see you again sounded subtly different from normal. then i encountered a midterm elections ad and the reverb was comical. elderly man in the open outdoors walking on the grass, voice reverbed to infinity
nothing to do, guess i'll read a driver's handbook. i don't even plan on driving outside of truck simulator, because buying cars at their current and likely future price is hell, but there's a societal pressure to learn. so uncool
it's a sample through an akai s6000 - paris made a pad sound, which i've stretched and layer in a program on the sampler - i think it's 5 layers? different loop points/pitches/play direction/etc on each layer. the pad track is also going through two yamaha emp100's with different things going on (a chorus/pitch/delay/reverb kinda medley)
this isn't the formula for the sound i want but i'll replicate it in sc anyway
2022-05-22
there it is
=> https://6kuro.tumblr.com/post/681116310159196160
my college makes incoming students do these 40 min-3 hr trainings and it has to be so quirky about it.
2022-05-20
it's crazy thinking how some of the dances to latin songs are only known through people's memories as a 10-year-old. yeah some people went to mexican parties where they had to dance to it in recent years but i know a lot of people on the dancefloor didn't. trying to recall the rules of a random 3 minute activity you did 8 years ago for a party you dropped $150+ on.
i wish i had even an ounce of male swag even if was of the incel (visual) variety. there's a guy at this party who radiates it and god i wish that were me.
why can't the djs with their serato dj play weatherday - come in so i could erratically jump with passion to at least one song
thank you zoe. i actually had no idea what normal boutonnieres looked like until after you wrote that - mine is definitely winning by a large margin. there were guidelines on the whiteboard in the workshop (1-2 main flowers, 2-3 leaves) but i didn't read them until i went up to get ribbon. my boutonniere is better for it, unconstrained.
2022-05-19
made a boutonniere for prom in an after school workshop. it's kinda winning
2022-05-18
decathlon introduced me to it's gonna rain and threnody to the victims of hiroshima in 9th grade. at the time i thought it's gonna rain was trash, and the screeching of threnody was great in a musical sense, not just in a messaging sense. but now i tolerate it's gonna rain. i haven't listened to it in a long time, when i saw 2 40s i thought of "it's gonna rain for 40 days and 40 nights." i don't remember if i ever listened to part 2 before now, since the usad listening selection was only the first 4 minutes or so, but i also remember hearing it on youtube back then. if i didn't, then cool i've now experienced it's gonna rain in full.
what if i livecode for the school talent show
=> https://yewtu.be/vugqRAX7xQE
he began to warn the people. he said: βafter a while, itβs gonna rain after a while; for 40 3s and for 40 4s" and the people didn't believe him. and they began to laugh at him, and they began to mock him, and they began to say, "it ain't gonna rain!"
today i have 40 wordle in 3s and 40 wordle in 4s. 3 caught up.
2022-05-17
thank you nemo :} yours is veryfun too
2022-05-16
rooibos's stories are way too appealing to me. fluffy, protagonists full of low self-esteem, each series hits emotionally, sweet...
i encountered a secret little haven reference in the wild
found a yt channel hosting a live car seat headrest song. checked it out in hopes of more live performances, but all their other videos are their own animated short films
2022-05-15
both the youtube algorithm and my therapist think im autistic. the algo also clocked me. die youtube. i have trackercontrol on so it's my watch history. but all ive been watching recently is livecoding, tech, jerma, sorting algorithms, animated shorts, and animated chainsaw man panels.
if i ever acquire mysterious sums of money i will spend it on countless folding chairs to be placed everywhere, over and over, to the point where removing them wouldn't make a difference.
i tried seeing if i could make a gui in c... after reading the gtk windows installation docs, installing an rss reader to download some libraries, and trying to get the iup header to work, i decided cli was the way. for a while i got stuck on the fact headers using structs go below them. hate how windows doesn't have an option for unwrapped terminal lines. im technically finished with my project but i want to add ascii to note. c is wild with its memory and string handling.
2022-05-14
alright, ill do unofficial drivers ed this month so i can play truck simulator better
encountered the lemon demon girl i was down bad for as the top comment on a calarts film i just watched. i have never seen people i know irl comment on videos before
stood 5 hours straight volunteering, at the park for 8 hours. might make a casual band with 2 friends, me on sc. so many people i know are going to my college, hope i manage to avoid them all
2022-05-13
there are no forests and no garages here, just terrors
should finish tilde setup so i can put my final project when it's done on tildegit. it's a tool to help mentally connect midi note numbers to notes in a diatonic way. at least major and minor scales, probably gonna add a way to traverse the circle of fifths too and see what overlaps across different scales. made in c since my teacher wants the class to learn a different language, do arduino, or make something in android studio.
don't i-will-never-pass-post warren.
an empty ~4ftx1ftx1in library shelf landed on my thumb nail earlier today. there is a common blunt force trauma of library work
i have 700 or 800 hours of community service but i have never found a use for them. my school waived the 100 total hours from 9-12th requirement for covid (need 0 hours to graduate), only the average number of hours per week could be used on college apps, i haven't done any community service scholarships... why'd i rise and grind so hard. would i have rotted away in bed or gotten better at hobbies in that time? when strangers come up to cleanup groups im in/co-leading and express their gratitude, i don't feel anything. someone once said it was the reason she volunteered. i don't feel any more well-adjusted. but it's made me go outside more, brought me to places i've never been, let me work on parade floats*, and it's a way to have small talk. the real question is probably how long can this stay on a resume.
*cutting flowers and sorting stuff was chill, but the rest (75%) of the work i was apathetic to. just too painstaking and had uncooperative glue and whatnot. there were cooler jobs but i was assigned to a lame float group...
stop discovering the corpse start being discovered by the corpse
looking for houses and apartments for my econ final, i chose to look first in tacoma cuz of tacoma radar, then i checked the crime rate and i swear it's the worst in washington. then i checked st paul, mn but one guy reviewed it and waxed elegaic on winter. each clause i read elicited a "damn :/".
Nice place but mundane.
3/5 stars
St Paul is a nice city to live, especially for raising a family...Winters are tough. It gets really really cold, and unless one is into winter sports, winter is horrible. It gets dark at 4:30, heating bills are high, salt ruins your car, you fall hard on the ice at least twice in your life, shoveling snow is a forced workout. Most people get a nasty cold. Work dries up, more fender benders, back to layer upon layer of clothing.
2022-05-12
my friend got a l*ckheed martin scholarship that's $10k renewable/4 year. making me want to get on the jlv grind
climbed a tree successfully for the first time today. ive climbed many fences before so it's not too special
2022-05-11
technology features prominently in my dreams and is almost seamless. it started in 5th grade or earlier with youtube but maybe also web games i used to play. one time i played a point and click and it was just the monitor. sometimes im in a mobile discord voice call/text channel and it feels real, about a month ago i dreamt someone on gemini (someone ive never talked to) blogged about how rude i was for not replying to their email when i emailed them first (i have never emailed them). the post was medium length and might've had comments. ive also been in many made-up video games. one time i was making music in a daw and used the piano roll. it sounded so good and i regret that it wasn't real.
(2022-01-20) had a dream i was at the beginning of learning deep government secrets from this person i met up with in a world where there were cctv cameras everywhere, i was scared being tracked by the cia, i knew the endgoal was that we would find a place 100% free of surveillance through a locked secret passage, my colleague would then reveal everything. but that's what my idea of all this was in my head. after the first meetup, i was on tor and started searching stuff up, then left myself on there for a while. my tablet pen was also on the pen tablet. when i looked at the screen i had 3 cursors, one of them flashing, and there was a dialog saying i was kicked because tor detected i was a bot. i thought it was the tablet pen so i removed it but then there were still 2 cursors and one of them was real fucky. i shut down the computer and when it came on, my cursor was different from normal and the font/window size was different, discord showed me a ping but i couldnt remove it, and i was scared. searched on my phone in the dream how to get out of a botnet. thought about usb drives and gpg and backups.
basically, the constraints of a dream with all its inaccuracies made me more fearful of my situation in the dream
when i first heard machine girl in 2018-2019 i thought they sucked and rarely decided to listen to them again. today i listened to ghost again through a video on tumblr. my opinion is the same, but it has the exact pad sound i want. there may be hope in finding the .wav of similar sounds
=> https://arirna.tumblr.com/post/683469360109600768
2022-05-10
what i mainly recall from reading frankenstein 2 years ago is that the alps are sublime. then, that the creature read paradise lost. read. been meaning to read some of bateson's essays for a long time; this
=> http://www.bruno-latour.fr/sites/default/files/89-CRITICAL-INQUIRY-GB.pdf
which i have never finished despite it only being 24 pages; and whatever authors dv-i mentions in aurora memoria.
going to fix all my links
2022-05-09
paused reading chainsaw man chapter 76 to learn more about the open source hardware mini mini crop top lady, naomi wu. first ive ever heard of her which is a shame. ive only watched the "why do i look like...this?" video and hooked.
i looked more closely on that one rin yaba stream and it looks like she gets most of her sounds from her .wav files. but how does one look up the specific sound i want. skimmed through some ambient pads and they're so far off from it. been looking at scsynth too much. want to make patches. going to re-enter my discourse era. just checked the meta forum trying to see if i remember my login. jeff atwood πππππππππ (in jest). discourse's style is unbelievably mid
=> https://meta.discourse.org/
probably got a 4-5-5 on my ap exams. took my last one today. one thing that's cool about my school is that all ap exams are $5. 2 full sat fee waivers are also available but the counselors seriously discourage taking the sat. they actually want to keep us stuck in the mud
when i applied for a summer program yesterday, it asked to explain why i need financial assistance. right after it asked for my family's household income. why should i have to write some tragic paragraph when the next box says everything.
2022-05-08
no ones talking about the osa u second hand lung cancer theory
instead of working on _, i placed <500 out of 150k people on minesweeper and got to 1 octodecillion in cookie clicker last month
blanks: computer science progress checks/tests, music, art, calc practice exams, playing archangel nemesis, self-hosting, applying for scholarships and summer programs, ricing my dell latitude, using the tilde i joined
done. there has been much adrenaline in my system since i started recording an hour ago. it's meant to be livecoded so i had to time everything live and i kept making mistakes. my code was originally organized horribly. took so long to perform satisfactorily, despite my final recording being 3 mins
fuck i made a new instrument and this is so pretty.. actually euphoric
almost done. this will be my first finished piece longer than 1 minute. i had a work in progress that was already 3 mins but i didnt get the vocals done.
i have melodies made from words and sentences encoded in ascii -> midi notes, from multiplications of birthday as a frequency, and other methods. it sounds like an album preview video instead of a song when i switch between them. wonder if playing a few notes to transition would sound ok.
2022-05-07
i have many alright and good melodies but idk how to fit them together. at worst, a crossfade? tomorrow is my deadline. i have ~120 sloc rn. took me forever to get the twinkle right:
(
t = Pn(Plazy {
Pbindef(\twinkle, \instrument, \buzz, \dur, Pwrand([0.15, 0.2, 0.25], [2, 4, 1].normalizeSum, inf), \freq, [Prand([1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6] * 100 * 6, inf), Prand([1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6] * 110 * 6, inf), Prand([1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6] * 87.31 * 6, inf)].choose, \amp, Pseq([Pseq([0.2], rrand(3, 8)), Pseq([0], exprand(3, 15))], 1).trace);
}, inf);
)weatherday tour? with michael cera palin? and oolong which ive heard before but didn't love but is math rock at least? hopefully i can go
=> https://linktr.ee/edemaruh | https://nitter.net/Weatherday_PC/status/1522464087908704257
2022-05-06
that's a really good post and article alex. a few weeks ago i learned about deskilling but when i wanted to explain it to a friend, i forgot the word deskilling and a lot of specifics other than my interpretation "people used to work less back then because they did more things instead of 1 thing." but the wording of "more things" is misleading. my econ class doesn't teach this
i wish rin yaba released her source code because im seeing portions and her changing them makes ideal sounds, but she uses global variables scattered across different files. saw her change a pseries from (0, -34.764) to (0, -4.764) and it made that chorussy detuned dreamweaver/bye2/full body 2 sound.
whenever i check peoples scd files and see they have an In.ar i think it is over for me.
had a gruesome dream that woke me up early. so i worked on sc and now i have a few pbinds that sound nice woooo. yesterday i barely made any progress but now, im 20% done with my song!
2022-05-05
song song songsong pls song makesong make song make thesong song pls
fixed the microwave time
the stapler injury shedded off.
main goals for the week:
2022-05-04
didn't know web browsers had local directory viewers til now
=> file:/// | file:///C:/
spent 99% of the school day in a lame ap testing room. they only let me have lunch for 10 mins death.
2022-05-03
never trusting vinyl stickers again. i got a banger $3 the ocean washed over your grave sticker from the csh show. used it as a laptop sticker. when i applied it i made sure to have no creases, the surface was clean etc. air bubbles quickly formed inside. i had to remove the sticker and reapply it to remove them. bubbles formed again. did this song and dance a few more times. using cards to squeeze them out did nothing. the adhesive weakened to an abhorrent degree so i just removed it and checked the backside. the adhesive is totally screwed up by the bubbles that formed. i just reapplied it to its original sticker paper and going to keep it that way.
i should write a fuckton of lyrics while im still bad at composing. because may last year i made a pastiche of of montreal - we will commit wolf murder and free throw - better have burn heal, and i still enjoy my lyrics today. the whole song has a perspective that's intensely self-hating with internalized transphobia on my narrator's part, so i don't want to leak it all without a companion song that debunks the misconceptions of the narrator. fun lines:
parasites are leeching off my brain again
they want me vegetative every now and then
...
coastal waves slide into mind, then out the shore
the ocean's thought to be a haven, but it wages war
...
strangers said to read aurelius, but that didn't help
i also made a pastiche of sweet trip - to all the dancers of the world, a round form of fantasy/lemon demon - spiral of ants/american football - honestly? about long-gone online friends march last year. going to skip the lame lines though.
you used to post videos
though compressed, our voices soared
...
over and over
i see you,
i hear you say
the same things
the same way
i replay
you and, you feel so cold
...
i dont know, if you forgot
about me, or your password
as if you passed away
memories, don't ever fade
wishing your mp4s
your volume, timbre, your choice
would shift, even infinitesimally
you'd sound alive, finally
...
over. and over
i see you,
i hear you say
the same things
the same way
your gameplay
last online: 4 years ago
also, will toledo's teenage lyricism is amazing. i need to be like that. gotta cash in more on making potentially awesome lyrics at this age.
2022-05-02
my online is terminal
the residency info automatically submits after the deadline. you can't manually submit it yourself but all the authoritative webpages imply that you can. at least that's done.
looks like my deposit was originally waived which is good but it's now past the deadline to finish uploading residency documents but i finished it months ago and the system is just stupid. why can't you just accept that im a resident due to being a citizen and having a resident parent. deadlines (hostile)
2022-05-01
fuck im gonna get denied enrollment to my college because it probably thinks i have to have 2 parent residence documents but i only submitted one. i marked my undocumented one without an immigration status obviously but that is probably why it thinks my residency status is pending but that makes me unable to pay the admission deposit. and im gonna get kicked out and be stuck with my parents goddammit
i can't get the unique motifs and changes of the live sober to death and beach life-in-death out of my head. beach life-in-death was wholly revamped and the mirror-to-mirror version was incorporated into it, so good. when i listen to the album versions now they are lacking..
there were many, many straight couples at csh.
it's unbearably empty and quiet.
my back is killing me baby
2022-04-30
i have got to use xdcc and usenet sometime.
2022-04-29
listened to the newest episode of tboy swag and they want listeners to send their own music. im gonna send my song to them if i complete it. force ppl to play my music on air. the person leading the collaborative album made a vaguely affirmative response to me asking for more time. i am slightly more motivated. but i dont even know the structure of the song yet, do i sample and procedurally chop up clown nose honks from freesound atop combinations of ugens i like, or compose a midi based off william schuman's credendum mvt. i and midicps+distort or sample it. how would i incorporate netpsych into this.
it's cute that the default text color in sc dark mode is pink
just requested songs from taiko no tatsujin, kinoue64, and matt weasel busters for an upcoming school banquet
kinda crazy that there's at least 13 terf pop songs out there, and the most popular ones are by a girl who renounced her tervish ways.
ive got to make most of a song in sc today ive got to. so i can request more time for this one collaborative album while having a tangible product yes. it's ok if the full song is less than 2 mins yes. probably going to reference SC_201116_043825.wav from heartlove.
2022-04-28
the person who dislikes you being with helix nebula is now dating the csh person.
walked by a car wash and it sounded like the drum pattern in mirror-to-mirror bodys. the timbre was largely off but right on in the important ways
2022-04-27
i have developed a habit of opening uxn, opening catclock, pinning the window, and then going about my day. i briefly made sketches in noodle in october, but i got frustrated when i couldn't build
=> https://git.sr.ht/~rabbits/chr-format
in mingw because it had a vendetta against that main statement. i did enjoy how on the old noodle, you could change the canvas size and it would radically shift the entire drawing into cool fragmented pieces.
got random papercuts somehow, maybe from handling a sim card remover. a few on the chafed finger and one on the pierced nailbed thumb. spiraled into severe self-loathing while listening to eli fieldsteel tutorials and playing minesweeper.
woke up with a stiff neck, which i've only had 2 times before throughout life, then pierced my thumb nailbed stupidly trying to take off 3d print excess and it bled for a while. then chafed my index finger pressing down on a book to secure library tattle-tape. my stiff neck will last for several days. pain.
2022-04-26
(redactle) i just typed 72 different years to find the year this actress was born. i kept on looking at "mary [] [] [] (born june [], []) is an american actress" incredulously. this person can't be that old right? on year 1980 but she kept on having roles in older and older movies.
i was 8 mins in on that video and now i finished it. need more of these amateur vns. so cute and charming. and this is why people love slice of life. my kigurumi waifu. a tale for the ages.
=> https://yewtu.be/watch?v=q8A2dLYDU-A
rin yaba was doing a kig dig and stumbled upon this vn. immediately i was drawn to the fact that the guy is named warren. in an alternate universe where i was more masc, loser, weeb, and fair-skinned he could be me fr. the newsground link is dead but the vn is by
=> https://koltonkennedy.newgrounds.com/
today i presented a mexican ska song for my spanish class and my teacher likes ska so she asked if anyone in the class liked ska and no one raised their hand. there's tons of mexican ska bands with millions of listeners. not even one hand.
towa tei seems very groovy but this song (angel) doesn't hit quite the way it could. could dig into his discography. should explore more artists, my playlist's been stagnant at 83 hours for a while
my tour-exclusive paranoid void shirt probably still has ultrasound jelly on it. whenever i wear it i think of when someone mock-exclaimed "this asshole has a phone in their stomach!" in summer 2021, i had to get my kidneys checked. i kept my phone in my jeans during the ultrasound because none of the clinic workers said anything but during the scan, lying down on the bed i saw a no phones sign. i didn't know how ultrasounds worked and panicked about it fucking up the results, but it didn't. before i knew that, i talked about it and one person said the line. it's still funny to this day. the ultrasound day was also memorable in that on the way there and on the way back home, i listened to vylet pony - lesbian ponies with weapons on loop over 80 times. that's the most vylet pony plays i have in one day
2022-04-25
watched everything everywhere all at once. it has many good aspects, from the effects to the action to the incredible variety of situations the daniels thought of, but its plot did not land for me.
a while ago i saw a "she/her β MLM" on discord and i had to jog my brain. men loving men? makes no sense. multi-level marketing? can't think of anything else but that wouldn't be on this server. few seconds pass... marxist leninist maoist. of course
2022-04-24
one time when i was 12 the designer of the kids coding app i used called my game esoteric and i've been subconsciously hanging on to that ever since
ok my aid for the college i chose on my scholarship finally came and it's $7,900/yr sooo based and awesome. that payment is fulfilled by federal loans and work-study too unlike the other colleges. accepted my offer :)
if i found the right account, that garfield plush is truly off his rocks
2022-04-23
i downloaded all the cookie clicker beta files since it has slightly better progression than the live version and damn wget has a lot of flags
also orteil really enclosed every string in loc() so i have to change some of my modifications
2022-04-22
i started and finished fire punch. started it for togata, who i only knew from the spoiler scenes. goddamn.
2022-04-21
i finished reading isabel fall's "i sexually identify as an attack helicopter" at 2am. it was half bland and half interesting. barb isn't an erratic woman unlike what i assumed, they're normal the way torrey peters' katrina is normal. the other 2 characters are also pretty normal. i never understood if barb was physically the helicopter in addition to the human body.
archive of
=> gemini://heathens.club/~noa/2020-12-23.gmi
here:
=> http://web.archive.org/web/20220104233944/https://noa-s.org/fucking-hypertext.html
if anyone needed it
100 wordle streak 100% win rate 100 max streak. it would be satisfying but it's ruined by my 102 played. i didn't play for two days when i first started.
2022-04-20
lain is a trans girl icon of course but she also has pre-tboy swag.
one of the schools i got rejected from has a radio show called tboy swag. missing out
happy birthday moldgold!
2022-04-19
installing debian on another dell latitude~~
my comp sci teacher donated an old dell latitude laptop to me after i asked. it already has debian on it lol, having fun messing around with it. the laptop's wi-fi is controlled by a physical switch. wacky
2022-04-18
:( sorry mellita that sucks
finished the scholarship. remembered that i did apply for another one back in fall 2021 but got rejected and erased it from my memory.
spent an hour looking for my card reader and it's seemingly gone. mind-boggling. i was originally trying to distract from this last scholarship essay, seeing if i could work on rpi stuff but no it's just gone. there's nowhere it could've gone but it still went away. $17 right there. where;s it
can i live off $2000 in discretionary income for 4 years? who knows what kinds of dorm furniture i'll find myself needing. my medicaid goes away once i turn 19. that's 3 years having absolutely no health insurance which is insane.
from a young age i was raised with 2 languages, neither were english. one of them is how i talk to my parents, but it's very broken and i can't express my thoughts in them. the other one i only retained 5-10 words. got thoroughly assimilated
2022-04-17
gezebelle gaburgably - triple homicide goes slightly better than mid. it seems obsessed with gjallarhornit, meanwhile other diss tracks i've heard seem distanced from the dissee. so gezebelle's is fascinating.
didn't realize base64 was commonly used outside of data urls and puzzles for a long time. in 2020 i made a puzzle where the solver had to go through 7 layers of encoding to find a shitty stick figure obama + description, with thomas jefferson miku binder leanings. first was a qr code, next was base85, next was integer encoding, unicode code point, i don't even know what the next one was, then maybe a bar code, finally maybe base64. okay im solving it and i got to unicode points, then saw a long block of alphabet text with = padding but it didn't decode to base32, 58, 64, etc.
2022-04-16
there's a baby sensory video (cartoon strawberry and blueberry happily bouncing) that's synced up to death grips - warping or a similar song in its entirety and i can't find it. it was such a good video too. saved it to my clipboard a week ago but forgot to paste it. no one gave it a video description, despite it being from tumblr. going through 10 blog archives and filtering them to video has not resulted in getting it. making a new video would have the same effect but i want the original. sad!
I solved today's Redactle (#10) in 106 guesses with an accuracy of 48.11%. Played at
very interesting
i just spent 37 minutes doing nothing but refreshing cookie clicker every second to get the 0.1% chance of spawning a juicy queenbeet. then before that, for one or two hours, i used a more agonizing, less efficient method to savescum.
need androgens NOW
i actually have to rewrite one of my answers because it requires me to have chosen a college, but one of them hasn't even shown me my fin aid and it will come in around 10 business days, which is after the scholarship due date. but the aid seems marginally better than the other colleges based off a friend. orz
thanks zoe
2022-04-15
writing shitty answers is not that hard. finished 3/5 essay questions. awesome
just going to write the absolute worst scholarship essays without consulting any examples because i have not applied for any, but all my financial aid packages are incredibly trash. when i applied for fafsa it said "your expected family contribution is 0 :)" then i checked all the colleges and they're all showing me that i have to pay $13k out of pocket every year. but there's nowhere i can get that from, especially not as a full-time student + work-study. but this has not made me start on scholarships. needing to write good might contribute to the problem. so i will write bad. not even going to write flowery or write a story i will just answer the question. scholarships are too much.
2022-04-13
my brain is gone. i cant play minesweeper expert no flags without messing up rn. i got 4 no flag wins these past couple hours. then i was about to get my 5th with every cell solved but 1. then i clicked the wrong one. for the past hour i have been dying. at least i can pass a permit test without driver's ed tho in this mental state!
Fluffsmile Record is a series of beautiful books. about a fictional creature named whoami. they can only say two words. meow. and. boing. disgusting. but also beautiful. i just love it.
ok i fixed the bulk buy function to only work when you have enough cookies, added a buy max button, made everything look seamless with that new buy max function.
homestuck day. i don't plan to read homestuck, but i'm surrounded by 4-13 enthusiasts, and i have watched someone play both hiveswap acts. going to fix cookie clicker's buy function, its been getting on my nerves. might have to create new buttons in the process... actual modding!
2022-04-11
looks interesting
=> https://www.vgperson.com/games/witchheart.htm
finished it. sourceforgians lose i win. this also made me appreciate supercollider more, because the code to generate a-440 looks so bad in java, even without an envelope.
basically finished with my java timer with functionalities i'm not seeing in any other timer (set an initial wait time before looping the timer), except there's no audio yet. there's some minor display errors since i'm using paintImmediately() in separate threads but this timer is just for me. probably not going to rework it.
2022-04-10
spent hours figuring out how to make a java gui with gridbag despite knowing windowbuilder is out there.
i'll look for $200 laptops i guess. scratch out the ssd plan.
how have i spent 2 hours looking for a port hub that supports connecting external ssds. this is bonkers
2022-04-09
alex - defiance ohio is new to me, i'll try them out. i've always considered those artists different from csh, but rn i can see similarities yeah. i aligned the microphones with the mountain goats. teen suicide was with salvia palth. ajj was in its own special bubble. haven't heard any nana grizol despite seeing the name a lot.
good to know mellita, thanks. one issue ive always had is knowing the first steps to do something but still dreading everything afterwards so i don't even start. but ventures and gaining something are appealing.
so true alex. their minimalism works so well. also, i love when they just reuse the same phrases and melodies throughout their whole discography. "i haven't looked at the sun for so long i'd forgotten how much it hurt to" goes just as hard in sunburned shirts (2011 and earlier versions) as it does in twin fantasy (those boys). people keep putting down musicians that have some samey songs throughout their discog but they go hard a lot of the time. no other artist has scratched the same itch car seat headrest does for me. i haven't found artists that are similar-sounding to csh, even outside of lyrics, either.
just checked the last.fm page for the csh show i'm going to. seems very strange attaching usernames and quirky music tastes to real strangers in the future crowd.
my palm injuries seem permanent. 8 years ago, a bug bit the edge of my left palm. the bite is still prominently red and the surrounding skin is still pink. recently, i tried to fix a broken stapler and it pinched the edge of my right palm. the scab's already embedded itself under the outer layer of skin.
cant't tell if i'm hearing one of john darnielle's mid projects or an imitator.
2022-04-08
deleted samsung notes and got everything on obsidian thanks to the joys of copy-pasting and protonmail. going to try gtd, though i already don't think it's for me.
=> gemini://idiomdrottning.org/gtd-overview
organized all the useful links out of chrome. deleted chrome, bloatware i didn't remove before, and duplicate files. now i have 19.5/64gb free in this 3-year-old phone. time to clear out samsung notes too
gradually moving into bromite. i already use mobile firefox/focus, but i hate how they unload pages, removing in-progress posts or resetting my scroll on websites, so i used chrome for those since 2021 til now. been going through my backlog of tabs. i will soon adb chrome out of this phone.
"when all the monkeys simultaneously start to write the first million digits of pi before they explain the horrifying implications of the existence of consciousness and then return to randomly mashing the keys"
i achieved endless cycle but didn't even realize it because i was doing it on autopilot. now i can play cookie clicker normally wooo
2022-04-07
learned about lagrange error bound today. first time seeing the name irl.
2022-04-06
=> /spoilers/heartlovepowertemple.gmi
always enjoy when media shows not-all-there women behaving erratically, but in a light-hearted way. like this is how you lose the time war, that one sets the standard for unusal behavior. yeah middle-aged to hundreds-year-old woman, go chew up and lick that snow full of seal blood until you can't see the stain!! woo! HEARTLOVEPOWERTEMPLE is close to the threshold but hasn't gotten to that point yet, but i am only on chapter 3. hope to find more of these stories. maybe that isabel fall story is one, i haven't read all of it yet.
read the first few paragraphs of susan sontag's against interpretation to my friend as they waited for their bus.
just saw a post saying lgb should cut off the t and q, which is infinitely funny. get the qs out of the lgb! wait... they're saying lgb is "" now? what happened to ?
2022-04-05
aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I FORGOT SEMAPHORE EXISTED. I WOULD'VE SOLVED THE PUZZLE IF I REMEMBERED SEMAPHORE. I HAD ALL THE DAMN PORTAL SEGMENTS ARRANGED IN ORDER, READY TO BE DECRYPTED IF ONLY I REMEMBERED THE SEMAPHORE ALPHABET. SEMAPHORE WAS BELOVED BY ME FOR TWO DAYS IN ~2019?20 BUT IT RECEDED INTO THE ABYSS OF MY MIND.
=> https://www.yewtu.be/watch?v=7x85SG7Fuw4
at least my team solved 5/8 puzzles!! we will surely get our first puzzling master certificates
had a good voice call with some people in a small server. finally, a place where i easily contributed to conversations, and where the conversations were about idle games and cookie clicker, fun game mechanics, computers, tracker music.... while the server owner, with a genuinely captivating "frog" voice, played fallout new vegas. now i know where the big iron meme comes from. the visuals and texturing are so good. i should play anodyne 2.
the first half gives off good of montreal vibes and the second half is just useless, like you said, and obnoxious
zoe - yeah i prefer warren, i'll listen to your song rn
this problem with heccra is at least in their 2015 album, the first half of most songs are very fun and interesting, but maybe because they're trying to make a transition into the next track, the next half is just indistinct, bland noise. so for half of each song i think this could go in my playlist, but the next half i think get this outta here - and i did. no more heccra on my playlist. the vocals are fine though
2022-04-04
ive never enjoyed post-hardcore vocals but heccra might just make me reconsider.
just opened up and played a puzzle game i havent touched in over half a year, and havent touched seriously in more than a year, but im still so good at it. feels good
2022-04-03
going thru last.fm profiles and found this in a shoutbox:
20 Sep 2006, 8:58pm
I should have done this years ago... But, oh well. I started it now, and you're all going to deal with it. Expect a lot of ska.
and they did stay true to this statement to this day, still scrobbling mad caddies and bomb the music industry! in 2022. earnest posts with personality are charming.
on ascension 369 and just realized that idleverse icon is broken because ozy's cookie clicker has unupdated pngs. fixed it tho
in cookie clicker, there's an achievement called endless cycle that only gets more painful to grind as you get over some quintillion cookies. it requires ascending 1000 times, earning at least +1 prestige each time, and i'm at 290 ascends. it takes about 20-40 seconds to earn 1 prestige. if i play the game normally instead of trying for endless cycle, it would eventually take 4+ hours to earn +1 prestige. but i'm less than halfway through my attempt and it's lame already.
2022-04-02
dv-i scammed herself by leaving aurora memoria free but that did let me play it. wish people finished their playthroughs of HEARTLOVEPOWERTEMPLE. there's only 2 people with content of it and one of them actually linked me sound of ceres 2 years ago when this one art server with 30 people was active. we were talking about how amazing candy claws was. small world.
what. osa u is only 3 years older than me. i have got to get my game up.
lmao rin yaba rated it only an 8 on vndb. it's still a pretty high score but lol.
wait whaaa i didn't know sofa/yogurt200, devi mccallion, rin yaba, and osa u were all buddies like that (music on sofa's visual novel HEARTLOVEPOWERTEMPLE that recently dropped). didn't even know the vn was about to be finished until i saw rin yaba was streaming today and she uploaded the ost yesterday. is that supercollider i'm hearing from osa?
2022-04-01
=> gemini://bdb.sh/log/2022-03-30-catchall-email.gmi
sometimes i do this email key mashing but this log also reminded me of that one tumblr post where someone painstakingly taught a random internet teenager how email works because the kid used their gmail address to sign up for tiktok.
this kid and her friend have no conception that an email address is one of the ways social media sites establish ownership, so i had to explain this. They literally create new accounts when they forget their password instead of sending a password reset email.
thinking about making a "which puzzling pyrotechnic are you?" quiz with gemif but have
host it but i dunno if norm is still online because they haven't fixed the certificate for months and their mastodon account is just gone. or just make it in obsidian in normal gemtext maybe, idk.
=> https://puzzlingpyrotechnics.getforge.io/
this is a game that's part of puzzle day with these rules
=> https://puzzlingpyrotechnics.getforge.io/rules.html
but many hidden mechanics. i tried to figure out the mechanics from the source code but i deobfuscated it twice and it still was obfuscated to hell. love fred the cowpig. hate detective dan and colorblind cory. "your first card is purple" my brother in christ, that isn't a card color + you change up how your colorblindness works every game so you're faking + l + ratio.
2022-03-31
haahhaha puzzles puzzles puzzles!
=> https://cs50.harvard.edu/x/2022/puzzles/
wooohoooo my 3rd time at this rodeo. so fun to do with friends, and this year i have a 3rd member! i havent tried notpr0n yet because the "remote viewing" mechanic feels bullshit, and i haven't really dug into ebony riddle. i keep on getting through the first few levels and forgetting about it for a year, repeat.
torrey peters really ruined my enjoyment of literature that is normal. i finished the gilgamesh retelling and wasn't too moved
2022-03-30
sheeeeesh i do have librewolf v97 but i don't use it that much. i also made an xmpp account a while ago like i wanted but i haven't found much use for it
explained car seat headrest's babyfur associations to the massachusetts state director of academic decathlon who's at least 27. he is kinda terminally online already and likes bartees strange who is touring with csh. it made sense in context of the convo but phrasing it as if it was out of nowhere makes a better story.
i woke up at 4am and immediately discovered good shoegaze. asian glow is in this band, but it's better than his stuff under asian glow.
=> https://phoque0twisted.bandcamp.com/
2022-03-29
just remembered i checked out herbert mason's retelling of gilgamesh for my library assignment. its reviews are saying it isn't too true to the original, but i'll finally know more about the epic. right now, i just know gilgamesh as some guy from the fate series.
making concept art of an amalgamation of autodesk fusion, sims 4 create a sim, and the photoshop ui, but for shoe design. also the roblox catalog but for shoes. it's for my econ class and i'm putting much more effort into it than i should.
i'm 60% finished with cookie clicker. people said this was originally meant to be played for years but it's only been 9 days and i have 3 billion prestige levels and a billion% multiplier. or quintillion? forgot. ok it was quintillion
2022-03-28
what if i made and released 3 eps. on episode 5 of the supercollider tutorial but i experimented with some stuff and it didn't work, made a 4 bar loop (melody, bassline, drums) in beepbox, which i havent really used since 2020. why is every teenager except me so good at making music and art these days. some older people said it took them a long time before they made anything good. locked themselves in their room for months, working on songs most of the time, before making good music. 10 years to make something decent in an hour, something good in 3 hours. how do these youngins do it without those years under their belt.
2022-03-27
the csh listening session was postponed to today but it is happening rn. i gotta request songs that other people wouldn't commonly request so we all get the best songs.
(japanese songs)
=> https://yewtu.be/watch?v=Q1J5-T8pNZA | https://yewtu.be/watch?v=4p0oaGiilNg
these are basically the same thing, except mint tears is on streaming, i often confuse "ange du blanc pur" for "une mage blanche", and i don't know if i like mint tears as much as une mage blanche.
need to watch chungking express soon, i've had the wikipedia tab for it open for months now.
just downloaded
=> https://github.com/ozh/cookieclicker
and modified it so i get the heralds bonus when i ascend and get that upgrade despite being offline as well as removing all the ads and the anti-adblock message. for when orteil's site is down. guess this is my first game modding experience despite being very very minor.
i got to +687 prestige within a week of starting cookie clicker! definitely further in the game than in my old run. i can ascend now since it's recommended, but i'll get all the grandmapocalypse achievements before that. pretty close to 200 wrinklers popped.
2022-03-26
planning to hear car seat headrest's discography with an online friend in around 12 hours so i can decide what song out of the 200 of so available to request for my tour date.
2022-03-25
i didn't make a song but i did get sinosc with mousex to work with only the documentation for help, and watched an unrelated sc tutorial video. guess who tripled their cookies per second in cookie clicker and completed some minesweeper challenges though
promising to myself to actually make some sort of song in supercollider today. outside of standard bars and beats obviously, maybe with fm synthesis? sampling a 20 minute comedy song? i watched 5 tutorials on different stuff by eli fieldsteel but didn't code anything. i will do it today.
2022-03-24
the pain is 100% unrelated, and laughing makes it worse
two days ago the library magnetizer machine beeped when it made contact with my hoodie (i was returning a box of sorted library cards) and i've had pain in my chest ever since. i don't think they would affect the human body but what if they do?
got the garden and grimoire in cookie clicker. grimoire is fun but garden is slow, it's way too early in the game to have fun matching mutation layouts and reading 20 page guides for it yet. sad!
=> published google doc (no sign-in) of the guide, below is a pdf version to avoid it | https://files.catbox.moe/ix65ma.pdf
2022-03-22
cookie clicker: haven't gotten to the grandmapocalypse or played the minigames so can't rate it yet
universal paperclips: pretty fun, a lot of fun mechanics
kittens game: got stuck mid-game which was frustrating but i enjoyed the visuals
random clicker webgame that was self-promoted on reddit 2+ years ago but don't remember the name of: i like the experience of finishing games, but iirc it wasn't interesting. there was this one mechanic where buying something would make it produce less than before, it straight up told you that, and i kept buying it and my production kept on getting worse. that mechanic should be in more games.
spaceplan: it's ok, nice ui.
2022-03-21
oh god. my parents do want to visit me while im in college. scrapping the plan of actually presenting how i want to, creating a plan of only taking t and working out. can't be that hard to repress for 4 more years. (they are transphobic.)
im addicted to cookie clicker. all my actions online and offline now are done in relation to progressing in cookie clicker. i started my run yesterday, but on my old laptop i was much further. but i want to start anew. also got my first perfect score in a calc bc test (polar curves) this whole school year. woohoo!
2022-03-20
played sweet trip 133 times today. in the morning, in the afternoon - not while playing the missing: jj macfield though* -, at the laundromat, and now. mostly from seen/unseen and a retry of a tiny house. favorites: aluralura, route of escape, glorious pain, don't steal my heart, metal test
*i played it for ~2 hours, and quit when the keyboard controls literally reverse your progress in a qte. i despise games that are almost unplayable on keyboard. i don't have a controller.
WHAT THE FUCK
THE SWEET TRIP SONG EAVE FOOLERY MILL FIVE IS AN ANAGRAM OF VALERIE LOVE OF MY LIFE. actually tragic
2022-03-19
=> https://yewtu.be/watch?v=WkOTGBRRnS8
this intro and outro are irresistible. and the whole album is pay what you want on bandcamp. i can't tell if i like the body of the song though, haven't had a good track record with asian glow (only like circumstances). i have been juggling algorave and other music throughout the day lol, my eulerroom tab is still playing. waiting for alicef.
chilling in here as seen/unseen:
=> gemini://inconsistentuniverse.space/
left_adjoint just performed!
nah how'd i get rejected from 4/8 of the colleges i applied to and waitlisted by 1
very important stuff to consider for your funeral if you're trans or don't want your next of kin to handle your death:
=> https://yewtu.be/PVgumSUZQRI
summary that misses a lot of info: by default, a living parent/sibling/etc can control how you look and what to do with your body, and they can do some heinous shit if they're transphobic. but making an advanced directive and sharing it with trusted people and your doctor lets you choose who you want to handle your death and how you want to handle your death.
2022-03-17
love glissandos
got 56.28 seconds 40l
2022-03-16
...installed cabbage for csound.
yeah, anthony fantano is insufferable. watched the review and listening to laurel hell rn.
was almost fully silent during 2 hours of being in a vc. but i had a lot of things i could've said. but i couldn't, seemed like it would always interject weirdly.
2022-03-15
hmmm i keep getting "4 No proxying to other hosts!" for
=> spartan://hedy.tilde.cafe:3333/
and
=> spartan://webdragon.mywire.org:1962/
also, i tried to code in a redirect for things with status code 3 but the server won't respond when i send a request to load the new url with the correct path... i don't think i'm proxying to anything and when i send the exact same request in netcat it successfully loads. guess i'll email mozz for help or look at clients that handle that kinda thing.
wooo it works.
2 text/gemini protocol = spartan host = mozz.us port = 300 path = / query = null Process finished with exit code 0
now to figure out how to get the whole of the server's response
can't tell if i like 95% of the vocaloid shoegaze i've heard.
Diction is not really the source of clarity
Structure is
You start with small, kinda obvious statements
And build up and complexify
Never making random jumps in logic
Basic Point A --> Complex Point A
Basic Point B --> Complex Point B
Complex Point C = Complex Point A + Complex Point B
Basic Point D --> Complex Point D --> Very Complex Point D
i see i see
got 57 seconds in tetris yesterday! i will test if i just have to send 0\r\n for my thing to work... and after that things might go more smoothly. or not.
2022-03-14
spent some time working neither on hw or connecting to spartan. chose to look at spartan and bufferedreaders and no one else seems to have this problem, where the reader is just stuck.
working on connecting to spartan in java, testing with mozz's page. got to input streams and dunno how to make the page visible yet, despite printing out a bufferedreader readline(). hopefully this video will help. but i have a calc test tmrw and innumerable assignments for calc due that i haven't done :/
=> https://yewtu.be/watch?v=gLfuZrrfKes
watched the first few mins of this vid and its kinda depressing how he's alone but simulating human interaction. get a friend to come over and type into one of the command prompts!
2022-03-13
interesting stuff...petscii in 1981
=> https://itch.io/jam/undo-jam/entries
i should join a pubnix
just deleted so much samsung bloatware off my phone with adb, my storage is looking so fire rn. yesterday's interview went ok i think. enough that a job interview would also be fine.
2022-03-12
thanks zoe \o/ waiting for my interview in a few, did ok on my speeches ... there was a pa announcement in the middle of my speech though, i got thrown off. talked about gemlogging for my impromptu speech lol
hoping to do well on an interview, my speech, and impromptu speech in a few hours
2022-03-11
feeling proud of being exhibited along some cool works. my favorites are null island cartography, Stabby Stab Stabbity Stab Stab Stab (in the virtual world), and Alec Guinness as Jacob Marley
=> https://newart.city/catalog/media-archaeology-lab-kidpix-show
2022-03-10
found a playlist named: "did you seriously just play vocaloid shoegaze in front of the hoes?"
2022-03-09
i love how people got confused about jomath's joke on station. old people rock!
2022-03-08
got my check yesterday... too bad savings don't grow even close to the same rate as inflation and i'm not keen on buying anything rn... i could get a port hub and sd card stuff...
2022-03-06
ngl, the ways she notes female socialization within even ungendered topics (true) and just calling all the people who liked elfen lied in that way as girls and women is fucking me up in a dysphoric way and i didn't even watch elfen lied.
oh, the video description only shows up when you're on desktop and logged in. the song list is there! fuck youtube for being like this. anyways, time to supersize my playlist.
how can you be so insanely cool already and also be twinkle park. so insane
watching a video essay by the youtuber hazel, noticed the jungle bgm that couldn't be shazam'd, checked her channel description and she's The TWINKLE PARK? ?? it is annoying how she doesn't link what music she's using here. it's really annoying. she doesn't share her email so i can request a song list...
2022-03-05
In the last few decades, humans have murdered, mutilated, or displaced an entire generation of older elephants who might have bestowed upon this generation the familial, societal, and emotional skills required to handle oneβs individual fifteen thousand pounds of muscle and bone, through which courses intolerable memories of pain, trauma, and grief.
was thinking about the compounding factors in my life that keep me down. the type of shit that helps make it hard to start on scholarships, desire knowing how much i need them, and do what i want to do. remembered this quote by torrey peters. this will always be relevant to me.
oh god it was leo sowerby who had nothing to do with minnesota.
who are stephen paulus and robert farnon. which one had something to do with minnesota.
all my binomialpdf/cdf, normalpdf/cdf, expected value, annuity, etc. knowledge just deleted itself
thanks zoe, i appreciate it. hope you enjoy morbid stuff!
2022-03-04
...really gotta keep mastodon open at least on my laptop now, hundred rabbits fully left twitter.
i think you're pretty cool, zoe!
i haven't heard pup - the dream is over in full, if i'm remembering correctly. but i love dvp, sleep in the heat, and can't win; almost all of the tracks on morbid stuff; and like but not love 2 songs off this place sucks ass. pup is one of the few english artists/bands i've enjoyed from osu. the other is thank you scientist - at for least my famed disappearing act - and i don't recall any more.
2022-03-02
i love how my voice has deepened significantly since my recordings in 2020, the earliest ones i have. it's mainly just from lower larynx height when i first started voice training in october 2021, but i don't really notice it when i talk, and when i do notice my voice, its usually when i feel that i'm speaking at a really high pitch, especially to people who know i'm not cis and that i'm voice training, which makes me feel like a fraud. i'm closeted irl. only 2 real life people know. what's the point of coming out if most of my friends there have already proven themselves to be transphobic and/or enbyphobic and i don't look how i want to yet. but hearing my voice from then to now... drastically different from and better than before. once i develop closed quotient and good embouchure it will be even greater.
this is kinda relatable.
had some conversations with the other 3 people in my library class, which doesn't count for any of my graduating requirements but prepares me if i ever work in a library, which i could do in college. back to the point. they are also all alienated from others in some way, like having no one that shares their same taste in trap, and friends that leave voice calls when they're playing it. or having group chats that die - whole friend groups that stop talking for a few months, but revive for a bit. it's nice to hear that kinda stuff from people in real life. unified by loneliness.
2022-03-01
fuck. i want to generate sounds, in a non-discrete manner. fuck tidal cycles i'm going back to supercollider.
ok im now the top 0.3% of minesweeper. i beat expert mode in 80 seconds! a year ago i plateaued at 90+... was my time away useful?
i think i did pretty well on my essay competition! for background, the essay has 3 prompts, one literature, one social science, one science, that you can choose from, but the specific topic isn't known until the competition starts. i spent the last week studying purely social science for the essay but ended up choosing the literature prompt... i haven't touched water literature for the past month but i did so much better than i would've if i wrote about fucking wittfogel's thesis vs. the great goddess hypothesis. i understand them but how am i supposed to write a whole essay on it?
also, i got 1:00.279 40l in tetris, my best time yet!
2022-02-28
i'm legit the top ~0.4% of minesweeper... feels good
i'm shaking after typing something in vc-text. my heart rate is up. i thought i got over this years ago. i used to be really anxious even typing in a server, but i got over it after a year, but now it's resurfacing? i was fine in this same call a week ago.
whenever fishmans - long season (live) plays on shuffle i do not skip it.
=> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEGR_PHKK9g
41 well-spent minutes of a bittersweet and introspective experience. it used to play twice a month, but it's been queuing up less often. but each time it arrives, it's always ethereal.
i love getting the spellbinding pangram as my first word.
2022-02-27
=> gemini://gemini.ctrl-c.club/~lettuce/
This gemlog is best visited between 1am and 6am local time.
oh hey, the current time is in that range!
i need a system of generating search terms to find interesting older posts in gemspace. by older, i mean those you can't find on the main aggregators right now. so far i'm doing random searches, like "garbage patch," but there's nothing on the pacific garbage patch that isn't mirrored news. maybe i should use a word generator.
on today's episode of wordtunneler, sable -> kicks:
Leaderboard for today's puzzle:
- 151 : warren
- 151 : rooibos
- 151 : mb2
- 187 : Domofuha Yayudora
i get the best score, and next thing i know, everyone gets the same exact solution... intriguing and awkward at the same time. 151 gang.
=> gemini://gemini.thegonz.net/wt/
2022-02-26
wore out my hands and brain playing minesweeper for over 6 hours. now i'm playing tetris and it's frustrating misdropping and messing up my finesse while trying to set a new pb when i physically can't. on a school computer, my pb is 1:04 40l sprint, but on my personal one, it's 1:06. if i could be dexterous right now and beat 1:06, it would mean a lot for the potential of untired me.
it's nice to see that past visitors of this one obscure website are still here, years later. the site has a version of minesweeper on it with leaderboards for time. for 2 years, i used to have a friendly rivalry with this one user where we took each other's #1s, but then i didn't check on the site for 7 months. when i revisited it these past 2 weeks, they weren't there at all. a lot of other past users weren't there either. but today, my rival is conversing with the webmaster and a few others in the chat room. in the chat, there's a list of all present users on the side, and quite a few people i recognize are there. so cozy.
2022-02-24
hearing trans voices is bliss. they're so beautiful and striking and often ethereal. even the often behated "frog" voice is one of the peaks of sound on this earth, comparable to the most lush, saturated, and thrilling parts of candy claws - two airships.
=> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6I8fWWS3Lvw
straight dopamine.
started and finished torrey peters's infect your friends and loved ones. it was a pretty interesting story, with a lot of themes i'm drawn to and barely any of the denseness of detransition, baby. about a year ago, i tried reading iyfalo but only got halfway and forgot most of it. but it was worth reading this time.
2022-02-23
reading an essay that says, "surely you know someone with [naturally] red hair." sure, online, but in real life? no, i don't. glazing over the rest of the argument.
i can submit multiple works to the kid pix show, hell yes. but the virtual venue is owned by an nft guy :(. essay competition is coming up...
2022-02-22
it's twosday. it was really cold today. my hands were still shaking from the cold when i got home and played tetris against a decent player who's level 110 in tetr.io (i'm level 35, but i play on jstris mostly), won 2 out of 5 games despite a lot of misdrops and misholds from my instability. still shivering now.
=> https://tetr.io | https://jstris.jezevec10.com/
maybe because of the cold, i walked to a school concert and back at blistering speeds that i never reach these days. used to be a really fast walker, pandemic slowed me down and i never tried becoming fast again. but this evening, it wasn't a conscious decision at all, just natural. during the walks i listened to my favorite songs from this self-described "ambient emo" lp.
=> https://lakelovemusictime.bandcamp.com/album/grey-summer
those specific tracks are paris, texas, trip <3, and telling time. the vocals are kinda unemotional, but the lyrics and quintessential midwest emo sound are really catchy.
2022-02-21
turnover is great. i haven't listened to anything outside peripheral vision yet, but i might soon. hope you're well too zoe!
2022-02-20
i finished remy boydell's comic. it didn't catch my attention outside of the artstyle. will toledo failed me. but i learned some things.
i once made 2 sketches captioned "would you come here and spin with me?" and "i've been dying to get you dizzy" with some original characters. i forgot i drew those and that's what i named them until i saw this about
I've been dying to get you dizzy
really nice song.
i was searching for people's opinions on the masker and i saw that will toledo wrote a foreword for that one remy boydell comic. now i have to read that too.
i've almost finished the background for the piece in kid pix, using patterns, zigzags, and circle pies, but i haven't added the main tree yet. haven't planned the picnic blanket nor the people either. it's my first time using kid pix, and when i started the painting i didn't know essentially infinite stamps exist, but now i do, so i might use them instead of drawing food and pets. dunno yet
looks generic rn but prospect park is in itself generic.
do NOT play semantle it will ruin your life
2022-02-19
finished reading nevada. although part one wasn't too interesting, part two made me tear up and really hooked me. i related a lot to james and the pre-transition trans feels in general.
Check this out, she says. When I was younger, right, it was really easy to just not be invested in myself or what was going on. I could wear shapeless clothes, have relationships with people where we just talked about bands and video games and, yβknow, nothing, and never went deeper than that. It was all super easy, right? This is that checked-out pattern I was talking about before.
fuck lol
this interview centering around nevada was pretty interesting:
=> https://emilybooks.com/2013/07/28/dan-fishback-interviews-imogen-binnie/
i like checking other flounderers' updates, and now i definitely know it goes the other way: hi mika!
i might move this into a gemlog later today, if i do something cool (e.g. painting the prospect park picnic). i might make it in kid pix since i really wanna submit something to this show:
=> https://nitter.net/mediarchaeology/status/1495131283193614336
2022-02-18
was watching a volleyball game with friends i'm not close to and it was alienating. my friends effortlessly communicate and socialize about strange life topics, while i withdraw. at least the game was pretty interesting.
realized that delayed gratification doesn't make me happy. my accomplishments in the past, even from a few weeks ago, being rewarded feels alien. i feel like i didn't make those accomplishments, someone else who bears my name did. instant gratification stays godly.
i see that oneshot's dev is good at words...
i'm killing my eyes playing octordle and it's not worth it at all
2022-02-17
OH HELL NAH I MADE IT TO THE STATE COMPETITION... i liked having time to learn, read, and listen to music ;_;. at least i got a ton of money.
fell asleep before i felt like writing here yesterday. so on the 16th, i got onto spartan with netcat in cygwin thanks to this guide:
=> gemini://lyk.so/small-internet/spartan/
might attempt to make a gui client for windows... played a ton of minesweeper impatiently with reckless guessing and got a headache from it, but i set a new #1 at least. i currently have most #1s on that site, but 2 of them are close to being toppled.
2022-02-15
feeling lonely tonight, but everyone i know is going to sleep. checked up on some people, they haven't responded. was in a voice call with irl friends for a bit, that didn't stave off the loneliness... this isn't something i feel often. usually i'm fine by my lonesome, but i revisited this site i used to frequent while listening to the sweetest ache for the first time. thinking about how my fun times with people are long gone days. got some nevada reading and some tidal learning done today.
2022-02-14
i finished the wizard maze this morning. no idea how most people didn't escape it. i wanna try getting the "trapped within my crystal gazing ball at the center of the maze" option next time.
=> https://vimeo.com/127343310
this goes hard as fuck. once i get decent at tidal cycles i really have to explore supercollider. scared about what the dev market will look like in 4 years. maybe i should minor in math.
2022-02-10
i'm not sure how favicons work on lagrange. many favicons are different across desktop and mobile (ex. spellbinding), even though the capsule seems to have favicon.txt. meanwhile, my capsule has a star emoji favicon, on both clients. in mozz's http portal, pages with favicon.txt have the correct icon, while spellbinding doesn't have one. strange.
favicons were an early experiment that most clients have abandoned since they are in violation of the gemini spec (which says a gemini client should only initiate a single request to the server). I believe lagrange generates a 'favicon' on the client-side based on a hash of some sort
interesting
text/gemini; charset=utf-8This content has been proxied by September (3851b).