the tab i started writing this in isn't working. it copies the appearance of the last tab i switched from and doesn't revert to the original flounder editing screen, so i have to restart from scratch. i should save more.
my main clocks are formatted in 24 hour time, despite everyone using 12hr where i am. i've been using this system since 7th grade, so it's just second nature to me now, and sometimes i just purely think in 24hr time, rather than converting to 12. 17:23? i know when that is. 22:53? that's too easy. guess i'm fluent in a mini-language. in my first months, i used to get tripped up at what time it was in the 14-19 hour block.
i originally set my clocks to 24hr because it was easier to do timezone math in my head, something important when you watch video game tournaments and almost every one of them has match times written in utc. or when you watch country tourneys and all the matches are in jst or something. i didn't like always having to open websites and apps to get the time, especially in daylight savings time. timezone converters had standard times and daylight times as different. it's not really the websites' fault, daylight savings time sucks. also had to wait for loading times. it's nice to just know jst is utc+9, or that hawaii is utc-10. or used to know. i also used to actually do the math to get to utc from my timezone, then to another, but now i have a widget that tells me what time it is in abidjan, which is always in utc. pretty useful.
i don't use timezone knowledge much these days, since i stopped caring about tourneys. my friends are all either in pst or cst, and all the events online are in one of the 4 us timezones and that's easy.
devine lu linvega has the neralie clock, which is interesting but not that interesting. i should look into fictional/world-built time systems more. there's probably some insane ones out there, where i could spend weeks just admiring their mechanics. i could make my own, but i don't have any current world to use it in. after this week, i could technically juggle worldbuilding with a host of other hobbies. hmmm.
the early hours of the day, the stretch from 02:00 to 06:00, are always weird to be awake from for me. my mom sleeps near me, so i can't do much without waking her, and i also don't feel like doing much. most of the time, i don't turn on the lights or use this time to do my work. i don't do that in the rest of my time at home either, but now i'm keenly aware of that. these days, i'm rarely awake at this time, since i usually get really tired before then. i sleep around 18:00 to 1:00. even when i fall asleep at 19:00 i always sleep soundly til 06:00 or 07:00. that always makes me feel i'm missing out on productivity. but that would likely never happen even if i was awake. but today i fell asleep at 18:00 and somehow am awake and don't plan to sleep soon. and it's weird.
for a few weeks in 8th grade, i used to spend this time actually doing homework, sipping monsters (which i liked to call rat poison, taking from the osu streamer monko2k), trying not to wake my mom. i made science posters and read 3 science textbooks, preparing for some standardized test. but this led to me falling asleep at 6pm. i never did that before then. but then i recovered. or so i thought. the next school year, which was a few months later, i worked as a tutor 3 days a week, and had to walk a mile to work and a mile home each day. i consistently knocked out at 19:00, even on the days i didn't work, and waking between 2 and 5, sometimes doing homework. i stopped tutoring partly to fix my sleep, but i kept sleeping early. then it transformed into not waking up in the middle of the night at all. sleeping longer.
i actually have most of my sleep patterns from 2018-2021 logged in a day-logging spreadsheet, where each hour is one of 17 activities i chose, and i update it every few hours or every few days. i had various statistics, charts, and heatmaps on the side. every day from jan 1 2018 - august 2018, then jan 1 2019 - march 2021. those times i stopped were because it got overwhelming and i fell more and more behind. but i should document at least the sleep again.
in 2020, i had this funny sleep heatmap.
my early sleeping habit went away, thanks to staying at home, without even having to attend much zoom classes. i developed a habit of purely making experimental paintings in mobile heavypaint from 1 to 6. i was either continuing something i started or went, it's the perfect time to draw something. this was my most recent period of actively making art. i made some normal landscape paintings with its weird tools. mostly, i made hazy or bright non-figurative paintings. or thought, pears look horrible on trees. they look better washing into the shore from the ocean, like seaweed, and painted that. i miss those times.
2021 was similar, but with much less art. i don't remember how it transformed into how it is now, where my sleep is much like when i used to work. but i don't work anymore. i haven't worked in years. i think a lot about how i make and learn much less things in my free time than i did in middle school. in middle school, i made a list formatted in a spreadsheet of 80+ topics to learn - i named it "things to do™". the meaning of ™ in this context being "i'm gonna procrastinate hard/not gonna do it" like in "soon™". so i guess past me wouldn't be that disappointed - and it has shit like regex, assembly, conlanging, meteorology, and weapon invention. needless to say, i have not achieved most of them. but i did inadvertently do some of them, like learning basic music theory, latex, and marine biology... why are the topics i put in that list still so good today, 5 years later. i still want to learn them...
sometimes i worry about events i'll have to go through in the far future. like sending my parents to a nursing home, planning their funerals and having to find and invite their then-former coworkers who can't speak english, or packing and throwing away their stuff after the fact. or how i won't remember typing up these logs like how i don't really recall writing in various tiddlywikis over the course of my life, but i remember they exist. i feel like i'll make yet another one. how long are memories supposed to last?
listening to: glass beach - bedroom community, bomb the music industry! - everybody that you love, paramore - hard times, the mountain goats - the legend of chavo guerrero, greer - bittersweet, sidney gish - buckets of fun, really from - try lingual, kero kero bonito - dump, sweet trip - pretending, keigo hoashi - copied city, dv-i - dream navigator, jin - kisaragi attention, american football - never meant, sweet trip - milk, sweet trip - noise is a social skill (v.0.8) (i used to generate 30 second continuations of this song with a colab notebook, and a few of them are memorable. i should post about that sometime), pinocchiop - floating shelter, kamome sano - tarte tatin, zedd - stay the night (ft. hayley williams), frederic - only wonder, the pharcyde - oh shit, ice cube - it was a good day, lemon demon - fine, daniel olsén - sayonara wild heart, lemon demon - eighth wonder, lemon demon - the satirist's love song, jin - children record - re ver., adventure time - glassboy meets the dragon larvo, jin - additional memory, lemon demon - the only house that's not on fire yet, atlus sound team - new beginning, the peggies - neverland, keiichi okabe - weight of the world kowaretasekainouta - marina kawano, sidney gish - mouth log, arcade fire - afterlife, ricky eat acid - inside my house, mat weasel busters - shine, keigo hoashi - a beautiful song, toby fox - megalovania, jin - remind blue, goreshit - 26arp, toby fox - hotel, zutomayo - saturn, american football - honestly?, sweet trip - misfortunes are cruel, camellia - crystallized, crying - premonitory dream, of montreal - we will commit wolf murder, cats millionaire - yellow horse, nanahira - kansoku-eisei, lasah - taixu, frederic - togenkyo, garbage - the world is not enough, linnea olsson - why you put me there, sound of ceres - my spiral arm, dv-i - passcard (final candidate) [ex•sync style], ginkiha - eos, toby fox - amalgam, knower - let go, plus-tech squeeze box - the martin show!!, mitski - francis forever
very strange today. i only queued noise is a social skill, the rest is from shuffle play. american football - stay home even played a few songs before i started writing. 3+ songs from 4 different artists in 3 hours, when i have 495 different main artists (not including features/secondary artists) in my playlist. also, all of my naturally occurring sweet trip songs are from the same album, but i have many songs from vdc, halica, the new album, and other non-ywnkw albums in the playlist. i wonder what the chances are of that happening.
update 2022-05-10 changed links
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