=> Midnight Pub

Fixing what is broken

=> ~iazia

I've been thinking thoughts... scheming schemes, dreaming dreams.

I'm in my early 30s and I've always regretted how I let my mental health be ruined so much it's put me in this awful position. I'm not dying, and right now, finances are a little strained but not by much. I still have a job and work comfortably, and want to look for something more solid soon. But goodness, how stupid was I in my twenties to let all these opportunities go by!

I struggled a lot in college. I took years off. Right now, it might actually be easier to get back in, since UT is offering free tuition for anyone with less than $100K. But before, I wasted so much time. And then COVID hit. And then my mental health took a hit. As always!

I thought I was asserting independence. I bought into the idea that I don't owe anyone anything, not realizing that I owed myself something! Years ago, I could have gotten help, but didn't. And now I'm here, not rock bottom. Not yet.

I've already went on and on about fixing my life. I don't think meds will help just yet. I think I need a far more solid support system than what family offers me. Most will just point me in the general direction of school and work. That didn't work out well the first time, at least not with the attitude I had then. I want to get more active in my community. Maybe finally get back into volunteering at the library, or something.

I'm all in a tizzy! I need to relax for a bit, get some exercise in before I hop in the shower!

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Replies

=> ~stravagant wrote:

Don't underestimate the effectiveness of medication. I've also gone through the experience of trying to avoid them. Retrospectively I wish I would've realized their potential and started sooner.