1/10/25

Knowing all of these amazing people, but not really knowing how to talk is such a weird feeling. I feel like I've met so many individual's that I adore, but man, I'm still on the outside looking in? I think I am learning that I function needing a lot of validation and reassurance from other people to know things are going well and I'm not quite sure that's healthy. It's really hard to sit with something on my own. And when I really have to, it makes me feel alone.

I had this terrible nightmare last night about work and life and past experiences, but like, a horror movie.

I woke up today and wanted to immediately share it with my partner, who had already gone home for the morning and I just had this utter sense of dread. And I haven't felt that in a while.

I think not seeing my friends this past week with snow is having a real negative effect on my brain and maybe I'm going insane because of that. I can talk myself in circles when I'm alone.

Today, i think i'll try to reflect on this all a little more, but focus on not letting be the focus. I gotta play some music or make some art. Engage in things I can love with just me.

1/2/25

A little late as usual

Cheers to another year, it's good to be here