For no good reason I was thinking about our daughter's long stay in the psychiatric hospital.
There were a lot of patients on the ward (possibly about 2/3) who never got any visitors.
Where were their families, spouses, parents, children? Not to mention freinds?
The ward staff were delighted that our daughter had visits and support from her parents, brother, neices and work-collegues - she was certainly the exception among the patients.
I like to think that our support helped in her recovery, I definitely think it made her stay there more bearable.
If you know of someone receiving long term hospital care - psychiatric or otherwise - please don't abandon them. Make an effort. It won't always be easy, but doing good isn't always the easy road.
[#]MentalHealth #hospitals #Carers
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@MikeFromLFE Thanks for mentioning that Mike. Decades ago, whenever I was visiting a friend or relative, I'd also visit unknown people. My mom was in the hospital for 70 days once. Everyone on the ward knew me. I'm ADHD, extroverted and have the gift of gab. In my experience, it takes so little effort to talk to them. They perk right up, and I enjoy their company too.
Except for being suspicious, I'd like to visit the elderly home, because I know many are just lonely and need to talk to someone
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@Rasta Hi - thanks for the response.
Certainly here in the UK a lot of care homes have volunteer schemes where people can visit residents - they do need background checks but it's definately worthwhile.
It might also be something that your local services (local authority or adminstration) might be able to arrange for housebound people.
Go for it!!
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@MikeFromLFE @Rasta Probly a stupid ? But are there social safety nets for volunteering? In the USA, tmk we don't have any federal laws protecting workers right to volunteering. Some corps have volunteering time of. But tmk the responsibility of the volunteers financial responsibilities falls directly on the voleenteer?
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@furrocioyskitty @MikeFromLFE
in Canada , NO. But, certain government jobs might have policy but it applies to no other business.
I.E. I was in the Navy. I could request time off to go volunteer, we did cottages for Military families during work days, actually went for 3 days once. But if you worked at Walmart, in spite of claims the do so much for the community, you might get an unpaid job off, but your health insurance would not cover you off the job is you had a slip or injury. I'm retried
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@MikeFromLFE When I was stuck in a psych ward for a mere few days, the visits and calls from family were hugely helpful. Can't imagine trying to solo navigate that clusterfuck of a system for months at a time.
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@MikeFromLFE
A very good post.
I was in hospital for altogether 6 months last year and although I have no recollection of the first 6 weeks, incl. 4 wks in a coma, in hindsight I am grateful that a friend and my daughter came to visit me. Even when I was unconscious or garbled unintelligible 'words'.
I am sure that helped me to recover (from a brainbleed due to aneurysm) as well as I did - I am here!
Also when visiting, bring toothpaste, a blank diary or notebook and a pen.
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@MikeFromLFE ADHD + Autistic kitty here,
I don't know how it is in other countries, but in the USA a person's ability to produce labor is directly tied to their worth as a human.
Atleast this is what capitalism teaches, and what our oligarchs push to keep people from creating community.
It's obviously false as each person worth is not tied to their ability to produce labor!!!!
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@MikeFromLFE i visited my friend many times "at the spa" (as my mother calls it). We talked, watched TV, played some chess/checkers. Me and 1 other friend were the only ones to go visit (save for his family). Everyone else kind of abandoned him. We have drifted in the many years since. I should see how he is doing.
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@kpopncommunism I'm sure that would be appreciated.
Go for it!
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@MikeFromLFE I've spent a great deal of time in psych wards. Speaking only for myself; I prefer it when my loved ones do NOT come and see me.
EDIT: I should add that I think this only goes for people who've been in the ward for about six months or less at a time. When I've been in there for the long haul and stabilized somewhat, I feel differently. It also might be substantially different for folks who have been voluntarily committed
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@MikeFromLFE taking it a step further, if you have neighbors you suspect spend most of their time alone at home, might want to say hello now and then. It's become far too easy to create our own busy realities that blind us to what's happening right next door.
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@JamesWNeal Thanks for that reply - yes, you make a very valid point. Don't forget your neighbours! Far too often we live in our own bubbles.
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@MikeFromLFE Your experience is similar to mine. My wife and I were fortunately close enough to regularly visit our child while he was hospitalized. But many of the other patients were far from home and had no visitors, or else their family and friends chose to not visit. Dr. Elyn Saks wrote in her memoir, The Center Cannot Hold, that many patients in psychiatric hospitals don’t receive visitors, flowers, or get-well cards. As a person who has been hospitalized with schizophrenia, she should know. She inspired an initiative in San Francisco called “Do Send A Card.” You can learn more about it with an internet search.
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@JosephMeyer Thanks for your comments. In the UK it's becoming increasingly common for psychiatric patients to be moved to hospitals a long way from home, which as you say make it difficult for families. I'm not sure that this is always appreciated by the 'system'.
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@MikeFromLFE When I’ve been in hospital the staff and my ward buddies have always been amazed at how often Tom comes to visit (he comes even when I tell him not to because he needs to rest). As you say, so many people have no one. I used to find out what people needed and get Tom to bring those things in. Most random thing was a bag of rocket to share when we hadn’t seen a salad item in weeks
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@MikeFromLFE Hope your daughter is getting better. My brother has a lot of mental health problems and hasn't worked for 30 years because of them. Literally has no friends, no spouse, no colleagues obviously. Rest of the family (cousins, aunt&uncles) are 100s of miles away. If he were hospitalised it would be me and my elderly mother as visitors. I work full time and have a family and she isn't very mobile. Just pointing out that not everyone has the support networks to visit them sadly.
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@luke Thanks for your reply.
My daughter is very much better - she moved into supported accomodation a couple of months ago and it's working very well for her. The turning point was getting a correct diagnosis (from a different consultant psychiatrist) and then getting the correct medication & therapy.
Every situation is unique and clearly yours is outside the mainstream - I hope that things work out for you and your family.
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@MikeFromLFE My little sister ran away a few months ago. Everyone suspects mental health issues. We've been told she's going she's going to get psychiatric evaluation.
But she's made wild legal accusations against everyone which we're still fighting in court. So even if anyone wanted to visit her (which I very much do, but most of us are far too afraid to) we can't
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@OpenComputeDesign It's a difficult situation that you're in - you have my sympathy. All mental health issues are different for every family and yours is clearly unusual. I hope that you have a resolution that works for everyone.
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@MikeFromLFE Thank you <3
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@MikeFromLFE love your call to action. I add a visit, call or mail/app to someone who's chronically ill and fulltime home-/bedbound. That gets lonely after months. Know your attention, however short or infrequent it sometimes must be, will be much appreciated
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@MikeFromLFE my dad had multiple strokes in the last 24 hours and staying with him through the night was the most gut-wrenching experience of my life. I needed this affirmation. Thank you.
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@MikeFromLFE That was the saddest thing to me when I heard the caregivers praising us for just showing up for the various meetings.
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@kamikat We were part of a carers' group - which was very poorly attended, and we were frequently the only family who attended the clinical ward round. It's very sad.
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@MikeFromLFE I can't tell if I feel better knowing other people share my experience or makes me more sad to know that's the norm. I haven't been a caregiver since right before the pandemic and I'm still processing. I hope you and your family can find some healing
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@MikeFromLFE When our daughter needed help, we found out that girls were being raped in the local psychiatric ward. So she went to “Yes We Can” clinic in Holland. Best decision ever.
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@MikeFromLFE As someone involuntarily committed to a psych ward twice for a week or more due to pre-diagnosis Bipolar I, I second this advice. Spending time there was mentally exhausting. You'd look forward to meals just because it was something different. Ever been in timeout? Imagine permanent timeout. Even those scheduled activities like drawing/coloring or going to group therapy you'd look forward to. I felt like my situation was probably the closest I'd get to what it's like to be in prison.
Visits from my family, it didn't matter who, I also cherished. I only had my dad's cell phone number memorized (memorize important phone numbers!) but I called him as often as I thought I could without being an annoyance.
The people who work there are also heroes. Who gracefully handle a patient having an extremely hard time and being verbally or physically abusive.
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@tyzbit Thanks for sharing that.
I have the utmost respect for the staff who work in these difficult situations.
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@MikeFromLFE having been there myself, it really does help to have people supporting you by visiting.
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@thefleet Thanks for that confirmation!
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@MikeFromLFE
Sadly, my experiences were rather different. The ward staff did not appreciate my weekly visits to my daughter. There was the sense that they were blaming her issues on 'family issues'. Both my daughter and I are too smart for our own goods in an Evil Genius way. That undermined their illusions of authority and control.
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@MikeFromLFE And when you do visit them, try to be kind to the people there, ask them if they need anything, and try to bring little gifts (approved by the staff of course)…
At my grandmother’s care home there was a woman in her 40’s who suffered a stroke in her 30’s…. And she rarely had anyone visit. I asked what she would like, and she said “a Walkman” - so we cleaned up on old iPad and loaded it up with a hundred albums from the 80’s, and showed her how to make playlists. :)
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