On twitter I once replied on a big account's post about men's mental health that if any man wanted a compliment that they could reply and I would compliment them.
Hundreds of replies started coming in from all kinds of different people.
Every single responder I researched their account and tried to find something nice to say about that person.
Can I compliment their physical appearance in a photo? Can I compliment an action they took or something they said on the platform?
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And with some of those it really wasn't easy. There were people responding who I wouldn't usually want much to do with and who would not have been kind to me if they'd met me in most other contexts. But regardless the point was to give everyone a chance so I pressed on where it was difficult and wouldn't otherwise have really wanted to compliment those people.
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But there were some accounts I still think about that were even worse. Their entire online presence consisted of ironic facades and hate. I pored over these accounts looking for something good. I spent days pondering them. Thinking about them as I went to work on the bus or shopping.
And to this day I don't know what they expected or imagined I might say? I ended up so angry and sad with some of them I told them as much. Others I just felt I had to "overlook".
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It's heartbreaking to think that there are men just walking around out there being the most awful people possible, probably as a shield to stop anybody truly saying something about their core that could hurt them, but also that they're desperate for just a tiny bit of kindness that nobody can find a way to show to them because not only can they not stop hurting others, but that they can't even demonstrate a single other thing about themselves.
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@zeska Now ask yourself why this only applies to men.
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@RickiTarr @zeska does it? I mean Marjorie Taylor Greene exists. I get that a large percentage of men are awful but all women aren’t some panacea of virtue.
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@fistfulofdave @zeska That's not what I'm talking about. People, myself included in the past, often have more sympathy for a broken man, than a broken woman. He can't help it, he had a rough childhood, his wife left him, he's sad. These kinds of things apply to everyone, especially women, POC, LGBTQ+ ect, that society is actively working against. I am all for being a sympathetic society that gives people chances, but equally. Also this kind of attitude is rife in abusive relationships, been there, done that, not keeping the t-shirt.
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@RickiTarr @fistfulofdave are you saying that the issue you're reading into this subject is that we shouldn't shut women out of talks about mental health?
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@zeska @fistfulofdave I mean, obviously everyone should be included. My issue is with the rhetoric that often surrounds this. Women usually end up being to blame for why men are being ignored in the mental health sphere. I don't understand where this is coming from, for one. Are there Women who don't want their men in therapy, maybe, but I don't think this is the problem it's made out to be. My other issue is people who don't want to actually change, but want to use this as an excuse for bad behavior, an off branch of weaponized Incompetence. Much like Elon's I'm not a Nazi, I'm Autistic. In the end, I believe that change doesn't come from the outside. It's not women's responsibility to get men in therapy or give them more compliments.
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@RickiTarr @zeska Fully agree with all of this. My response was a tangent and not nuanced enough as a knee jerk reply the reply of “notice it’s all men”. I should have expanded my thought more or better not posted it. Apologies for the derailment.
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