Ancestors

Written by WrenArcher :bb: :trans_heart: on 2025-01-22 at 18:15

Really nice when you get very non subtle remarks from your wife and mother in-law to dress your age.

To keep the peace, I held back telling both of them to fuck right the hell off but I now have the taste for blood after biting my lip and holding back. So I'll probably be on the hunt tonight.

[#]TransGirlProblems

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Written by Emily 🏳️‍⚧️ (Injection Arc) on 2025-01-22 at 18:57

@WrenArcher

First, I've seen your style, so even if you grant them -- which you shouldn't -- some right to criticize your style, they're wrong on facts. Is "dress your age" code for "adopt our style/fashion sense/dress like us"? It feels like code for that, and fuck that. You know what any woman -- cis or trans -- would respond to their mother-in-law or spouse telling them how to dress? Fucking BLOOD is right.

Second, we're GenX. We wear what we want, and we look GOOD doing it. Whether it's a little black dress, or jeans and Docs and a hoodie or an evening gown or whatever. We define what's appropriate for us, and nobody else. It's one of the few things about my generation I've damn well embraced and I'll die on that hill.

Third, I've met you -- you've got a great style that suits you! Every bit of you, from your build to your age to your personality.

Fourth....fourth now I want to go to Numbers in docs and ripped jeans and fishnets and an old concert T held together mostly by safety pins and absolutely act my age. Wanna come?

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Written by WrenArcher :bb: :trans_heart: on 2025-01-22 at 19:23

@EmilyGB2023

Thanks for the uplifting and encouraging words Emily. I really, really appreciate it. And yeah, I think a LOT of what they're saying is "adopt our style/fashion sense/dress like us" mentality.

I'm four and half years into transition and my wife is FINALLY starting to see that our sense of style is very different. She's rather pragmatic, utilitarian, almost leaning to soft masc where I tend to lean pretty dang girly.

But it's also coming from a place of trauma, background on how/where they were raised.

Also, Numbers for a punk show where combat boots and a torn shirt held by safety pins would be overdressed??? Sounds gay.

.

.

.

Count me in. 😜

@storybead

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Written by rowan {circus gremlin} on 2025-01-22 at 22:21

@WrenArcher @EmilyGB2023 yes - some of my first really feminine clothes were some nice casual ruffled cotton gauze skirts, and my mother's first comment was that I looked "frumpy." And I think it was the same kind of thing - if I'm going to look femme, there was a narrow window in which she thought that would be acceptable. We talked about that reaction, and she's been a lot better since then. I also (indirectly) get that from my partner's mother, who has leaned very hard into the mode of makeup and heels and such are evil tools of the patriarchy and if I'm wearing them it's an offense to feminism and everything they worked so hard to throw off (thank you second wave feminism).

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Toot

Written by WrenArcher :bb: :trans_heart: on 2025-01-22 at 22:29

@storybead

"who has leaned very hard into the mode of makeup and heels and such are evil tools of the patriarchy..."

My wife has said something similar although not invoking feminism or enabling the patriarchy. She has come very close to saying it's stupid to wear heels because if you need to runaway from an attacker (read: a man) heels will slow you down compared to running in flats.

@EmilyGB2023

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Descendants

Written by Unhinged Chaos Demon on 2025-01-22 at 22:35

@WrenArcher "Comply in advance."

@storybead @EmilyGB2023

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